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After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.   Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you. Husband: What's up? Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid... Husband: Well you don't remember, do you??? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had pooped, then you said: "Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here." So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty...

The embattled National Football League announced its decision to cancel this week’s edition of ‘Sunday Night Football’ on Tuesday; hoping to avoid a ratings bloodbath as a less-than-stellar line-up and New Year’s Eve festivities would have caused the NFL to reach embarrassing new lows. The league opted to call-off the game before announcing which teams were scheduled to compete, adding the match-up wouldn’t have playoff implications and would likely cost the already troubled organization millions of dollars. “We felt that both from a competitive standpoint and from a fan perspective, the most fair thing to do is to schedule all...

Just a little break from the regular politics and economics.

Embedded video at link. Cringe worthy. But funny as hell.

Tonight, through a vote of the Memphis City Council, the statues of Nathan Bedforest Forest and Jefferson Davis will come down, thus ending the scourge of racism in the City of Memphis. The groups that have been trying to get the removed from public viewing has won. The two parks where the two statues were in has been sold to private concerns. I don't know who right now. But as of tonight, Memphis an now move forward without the impediment of racism.

The nation was in an absolute uproar as the GOP tax bill passed Congress Wednesday and made its way to President Trump’s desk, with millions of irate citizens expressing their total fury over the fact that the federal government will now be taking less of their money week in and week out. Hordes of protesters gathered in the nation’s capital to decry the decrease of government taxation of their incomes, sources confirmed. “America is dead,” one weeping woman said as she found out she would be giving the government $2,000 less under the new tax plan. “If ever there were...

A special message from savethesnowflakes.org. We sent crayons to help soothe your wounded soul, but we forgot to remove the offensive privileged colors. We sent bubbles to surround you, but their rainbow prism reflections didn’t accurately correspond to the diversity of the entire gender rainbow. We tried to distract you from political realities by using fairy tales – not realizing the hurt that would cause to those that identify as fairies. We worked to cover up statues of historical figures that offended you, but sometimes we did it with white sheets. And that was wrong.

SAN DIEGO (NEWS 8) – Sheriff’s Deputies have been accused of being slow to break up a violent brawl that broke out at a border wall rally in Otay Mesa over the weekend. On Tuesday, both sides shared their stories with the Citizen’s Law Enforcement Review Board. After hearing both sides of the border wall protest, the Citizen Review Board will now consider arguments made about how well deputies broke up the violence. “When he [border wall supporter] punched me in the cheek, the plastic broke and lacerated my face,” he said.

Video description: For centuries women have been forced by men to breastfeed their children. This is the pinnacle of patriarchal oppression. Now, it is time for reparations. It is time for men to take over breastfeeding duties! In this video tutorial I show progressive dads how to breastfeed and I take to the streets to fight for their rights to do so!

Residents of Sitka, Alaska woke on the morning of Monday, April 1, 1974, to a bright, clear day. They could see right across Sitka Sound to Kruzof Island, where the familiar sight of Mount Edgecumbe, a volcano dormant for 400 years, loomed. But today something was different about the view. A menacing plume of black smoke was rising from the crater. It looked like the volcano was preparing to blow!

Neel Kolhatkar is most famous for the "Modern Education" video calling out the insanity in modern academia. Here he's interviewed by Dave Rubin as a conservative comic pointing out problems with liberalism.

Bill Clinton has hired Matt Lauer & Garrison Keillor to work at the Clinton Foundation. Anthony Weiner hired 4 months ago will be their newsupervisor

My buddy was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died. Tom wanted two things: • to learn how to invest his inheritance and, • to find a wife to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll...

Pentagon Recommends Nation Play Through All ‘Fallout’ Video Games In Preparation For Imminent Nuclear ApocalypseWASHINGTON, D.C.—Hot on the heels of yet another ballistic missile launch in North Korea, the Department of Defense recommended Tuesday that all citizens begin playing through a binge gaming marathon of the Fallout series of video games in order to prepare for life in the nuclear wastelands.Speaking on an emergency public broadcast video, Secretary of Defense James Mattis stated that all Americans should consider picking up all of the core Fallout games, should they wish to have the experience and skills necessary to survive the coming...

You'll either laugh aloud or drop your jaw in disbelief.

(U.S. Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, D-Texas, wants those aiming to pick up certain guns, ammo and accessories to wait seven business days.) A group of House Democrats is backing a measure to delay sales of semi-automatic firearms, suppressors, armor piercing ammo and large capacity magazines. Introduced by Texas Democrat Sheila Jackson Lee, H.R. 4268 would mandate that both licensed dealers and individuals wait seven days after buying targeted guns, ammunition and accessories before transferring the item. The Houston-area Congresswoman debuted the bill two days after the shooting at the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas that claimed the...

Since (not entirely voluntarily) retiring from screenwriting, I wrote Funny: The Book / Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Comedy. When sales skyrocketed into double figures, a university invited me to a conference about ethics in standup comedy. But really, what kind of humorless, self-important asshole would go to something like that? I landed amidst 50 philosophy professors from around the world, plus one other non-academic; a critic who gave a talk on “authenticity,” which seemed to say that the idea of authenticity in comedy is – and I hope this academic jargon isn’t too thick – bullx. He...

After recording this, I went to my fridge (functional), took out cheese and ham (fresh) and made a sandwich (delicious). God bless civilisation.

What is the sound of America cringing? Larry David now knows. And, it’s not pretty. This last Saturday night, comedian Larry David was the guest host on NBC’s “Saturday Night Live.” Let’s get clear on something: over the past month, SNL has had two Jewish hosts. That might be unprecedented. Yet, while Israeli superstar Gal Gadot filled the Jews with pride, especially with her Hebrew shout-out, Larry David successfully pushed every Jewish button. First: Larry told us how embarrassed he is, as a Jew, that so many of the men who have been accused of sexual harassment happen to be...