Keyword: humor
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Advice from an old man Posted on October 5, 2017 by Paul -Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. -Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. -Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. -A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. -Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled. -Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight. -Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads. -Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. -It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge. -You cannot unsay a cruel word. -Every...
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Facebook censored a pro-gun video of a user mocking the hysteria around how “easy” it allegedly is to convert rifles to automatic fire. The video can be seen here, but can’t be embedded because it “may show graphic violence or gore.” The censored video doesn’t show violence or gore. It shows Facebook user Andy Orlando disassembling a rifle and handgun while joking about converting them to automatic fire. In reality, he made the weapons completely useless. He pulled the slide spring out of his Sig handgun, and removed the bolt carrier group from his AR-15 rifle. The AR-15 is 100...
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This cowboy from Texas is hilarious. Check out some of his other short videos also.
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society's "stupidly politically correct" sensibilities will lead to the "death of comedy", the veteran Hollywood comedian Mel Brooks has warned. Brooks, known for his plethora of acclaimed comedy movies, said political correctness was becoming a stranglehold on comedians. "It's not good for comedy. Comedy has to walk a thin line, take risks," he said. "Comedy is the lecherous little elf whispering in the king's ear, always telling the truth about human behaviour." The producer and director said that his iconic western parody Blazing Saddles could not be made in today's political climate.
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Students at San Diego State University are offered extra credit if they take a quiz to determine their level of ‘white privilege’. Steven Crowder and friends decided to take the test live on air. Who’s the real racists? We find out.
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I wish I wasn’t the one to bring this tragedy to these vaulted pages amidst the litany of bad news we’ve huddled together against. I’m only the messenger of this giant’s downfall, who no doubt touched us all. Rapper Shawty Lo has died in a car accident in Atlanta. The 40-year-old rapper, born Carlos Walker, was ejected from his vehicle after he crashed into two trees on his way home from an Atlanta strip club. Walker leaves behind 11 children from 10 different mothers. He made headlines in 2013 when the television network Oxygen announced a special about the rapper...
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MONTGOMERY, Ala. — The Southern Poverty Law Center has announced it would include prominent American veterans’ organizations American Legion and Veterans of Foreign Wars in its listing of hate groups, sources confirmed today. In a written statement signed by SPLC President J. Richard Cohen, the organization said both the VFW and Legion were included since many of their members sympathize with radical, extreme-right-wing ideals such as freedom, safety, and family values. “I hate to criminalize a group of decorated war veterans,” Cohen said, from somewhere deep within a fog of pit sweat in his corporate think-tank steam room, where Sen....
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http://710wor.iheart.com/featured/mark-simone/content/2017-09-02-watch-one-of-the-greatest-labor-day-traditions-the-jerry-lewis-telethon/#ixzz4rabpeogt
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<p>HOUSTON, TX—Although Joel Osteen took flak over the weekend for closing up his church to flood victims and all but disappearing during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the megachurch pastor reportedly returned to the city on his luxury yacht “S.S. Blessed” to make amends Tuesday by tossing copies of Your Best Life Now to stranded flood survivors.</p>
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An amazingly talented actor named Brandon Hardesty plays every role in these highly accurate movie reenactment scenes An amazingly talented actor named Brandon Hardesty plays every role in these highly accurate movie reenactment scenes.Monty Python and the Holy Grailhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjph4G4z77MJurassic Parkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6etg_fX1PwThe Empire Strikes Backhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqstc4vItC4Pulp Fictionhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nQ4XP9Ep5YA Christmas Storyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id5YdHkAacsFargohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z7O_VZ9zN4Lots more at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL010CCD1F6948AD17
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President Trump is Briefed on Antifa Fail (humor)
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My wife recently came into the house and announced that there were strange looking creatures living in our stock pond. She is from Scotland, so at first, I was concerned that she had gotten into the cooking wine and had seen the Loch Ness Monster again. However, when she described the creatures to me, I realized she was talking about brine shrimp. Of course, every Baby Boomer who grew up in America knows them by their proper name, which is sea monkeys. For those who ever read a comic book in the 60s and 70s, you would have seen the...
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I ask myself: What does one write about when they have nothing to say? An even more prudent question is: Who would want to read it anyway? Well, I suppose if the writer had previously demonstrated the ability to put two or three words together in a coherent fashion, there may be those who would indulge him...or her. Then again, maybe not. Is the subject of nothingness really that disinteresting? Many of us crave the moments we have nothing scheduled to do in exchange for something randomly pleasurable to do. Not all somethings are created equal, you see. It follows...
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U.S.—In a move designed to improve the accuracy of the name of the movement, a gathering of leaders of the Antifa protest group voted Monday to change its name to just “Fa,” better reflecting its fascist ideas and methods. The new name is short for just “Fascist,” according to the group of often violent protesters. “We were called ‘Antifa,’ but let’s be honest here, we’re using violence to advance our cause, we forcibly suppress those who oppose us, and we’d all be okay with a totalitarian Communist regime,” an Antifa spokesperson clad in all black said in a press conference....
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Young Irish immigrants in Canada have expressed their annoyance at being forced to undertake an English-proficiency test, despite English being their first language, when applying for Canadian permanent resident status.
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First pitch tonight at Fenway..missed his target, by just a little bit. #RedSox
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A 52 year old man in Elgin, Illinois was taken by surprise after a prostitute he hired through a website turned out to be his own wife of the past 19 years. The man had been using the site for some months to hire prostitutes and meet them for sex at motels in neighboring areas. Last weekend, the man told his wife he was going out drinking with work colleagues, when in reality he was traveling to a motel on the outskirts of town. Upon checking into the motel the man used his phone to access his regular website used...
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Even if your idea of cooking falls well short of professional, you still probably use aluminum foil fairly regularly. As a fantastic insulator, this handy item is essential to any kitchen supply cabinet. Nevertheless, aluminum foil has a whole ton of other uses that most people are tragically unaware of. The next time you buy a roll for your culinary endeavors, grab a second one; as you’ll see, it can make your life much easier! Here are 15 clever uses for aluminum foil that will make your life outside of the kitchen super simple. You’ll never look at tin foil...
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An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?” Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you on three occasions during these 50 years, but always for a good reason. Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you...
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