Posted on 07/14/2003 1:34:12 PM PDT by Korth
Eligible women are finding it harder these days to find a man who is willing to commit for the long haul.
And it isn’t for lack of social commentary. I was walking out of my local Borders bookstore the other day, and there were two books by the check-out stand promising to help desperate women find that someone special.
Women’s magazines are replete with advice columns to help readers find their Prince Charming. But alas, these columns are generally clueless when it comes to getting the male perspective on the issue, as if the woman’s point of view is all that matters.
Case in point is Susan Reimer’s recent diatribe, Young Men are Running from Marriage. Her column, like most in the genre, offers little in the way of compassion, wit, or wisdom.
This is how she describes young men: "Other than a 29-inch waist and a full head of hair, there isn’t much to recommend the twentysomething male...He is living an extended adolescence – an adult-olescence – and every immature, irresponsible, self-absorbed thing he does is reinforced by the latest issue of his favorite men’s magazine.
If Ms. Reimer’s commentary reflects the attitudes most single women, it’s no wonder that men aren’t lining up to buy their marriage licenses.
So let’s shift our focus back a couple frames to gain a broader perspective. What would we see?
First, men are well-aware that half of all marriages end in divorce. And men have heard too many horror stories about spiteful women who have cleaned out their bank accounts and demanded lifelong alimony. And as far as the kids, they fear ending up as a parental outcast, permitted by the divorce decree to "visit" their own children every other weekend.
Then, there’s the feminist-driven Violence Against Women Act. That’s the federal boondoggle which has spawned domestic violence laws around the country that make a mockery of "innocent until proven guilty." Research shows that domestic violence is a 50-50 proposition. The wife wallops hubby with a frying pan, so he retaliates with a jab. The police show up, and the man spends the night in the slammer.
Or the wife can obtain a restraining order simply on the basis of her claim that she is "fearful" of harm. She does not have to provide any proof that danger is imminent – just her word that she is afraid will generally suffice.
And then, to put it bluntly, too many women have accepted the Great Lie that women have been eternally oppressed. As columnist Wendy McElroy put it, the "most damaging effect of the Great Lie is that many women invest their emotions and energy in rage rather than remedy....Instead of attacking their problems, they attack people who have caused them no harm – men as a class, men they’ve never met."
As a result, these women approach relationships trying to prove they are as good as, or better than, their male partner. How many men in their right mind are interested in that kind of adversarial relationship?
Radical feminists have succeeded in tilting the balance of marital power strongly in favor of women. And men, fearing that marriage may turn out to be a raw deal, have simply made other plans.
So by weakening the marriage prospects of millions of women, feminism has ironically ended up hurting and victimizing the very persons whose interests it claims to speak for.
Truer words were never spoken. What man wants to see all that he's worked hard for all his life go up in smoke just because his "wife" saw someone else that she'd rather have?
What a coincidence. This is what the current crop of twenty-, thirty-, and fortysomething women are like. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, and last but not least, ME.
OH! It’s way more than that. Did you miss this:
Then, there’s the feminist-driven Violence Against Women Act. That’s the federal boondoggle which has spawned domestic violence laws around the country that make a mockery of "innocent until proven guilty."
I’m 42, I’ve dated a women for 8 years. Been engaged for 2 years. She has two kids from a previous marriage. Even though I have known and trusted her for years Marriage scares the Beejeesus out of me.
You mean it's NOT?!...I've been hoodwinked...not!
FMCDH
FMCDH
I am going to save my shekels and move to a Carribean country. I am seriously looking at Trinidad and Tobago (which has an English language base, is one of the most prosperous Carribean nations, and has a pretty decent Constitution), and also the American Virgin Islands.
Sun. Sand. Waves. No B.S.
Xcrew marriage.
As well it should, but there's the tragedy. Marriage is a sacred institution that was given to us as a fortress for well-being, and leftist politics has defiled it beyond recognition. My first wife was a Californian who was all the nightmares described above and more. My second wife is a treasure that has lived most of her life in Latin America and has no use for what has happened to the land of her birth.
You are my best friend.
It should. Relationships are immediately torpedoed by marriage. It sucks rocks in every way. DO NOT DO IT. Remain engaged.
Sounds to me like this lady wants to marry a guy with 50 years of wisdom packed in a 25 year-old brain, and no rough edges.
And of course, both men and women see in all the media this idea that you can't have a marriage unless you're always madly in love and having spectacular sex with a beautiful partner.
It's all about expectations, and how we see our roles in marriage.
There's nothing here that a little churching-up wouldn't take care of.
At the same time, eligible young women have been raised of the dumb TV show and they seem to suggest that they all are beautiful and deserve to be treated like princesses.
The comment about men's magazines is interesting. True, they portray the objects of male lust. But, in the absence of Miss July, ANY reasonably normal female serves the same purpose just as well. The threat is in the female magazines which, like TV, imprint very unrealistic expectations. Look at the very highpoint of the lives of most females, the wedding ceremony. After the wedding spectacular, it is down hill for almost every female.
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