Puny US particle punisher finds strong evidence for God particle

The Register ^ | 3rd July 2012 09:30 GMT | Bríd-Áine Parnell

[Olog-hai]

The US particle collider Tevatron has jumped in just ahead of the Large Hadron Collider's results announcement this week to say that their machine has found the "strongest indication to date" of the God particle.

The LHC's baby American cousin stopped bashing particles off each other back in March 2001 but the scientists have kept crunching the numbers from the 500 trillion collisions produced to wring the last drops of data out.

Today, the boffins said their data "strongly point toward the existence of the Higgs boson" but we're still not there yet.

“It is a real cliffhanger," the DZero experiment co-spokesperson and physicist at the Laboratory of Nuclear and High Energy Physics in Paris, Gregorio Bernardi, said in a canned statement.

"We know exactly what signal we are looking for in our data, and we see strong indications of the production and decay of Higgs bosons in a crucial decay mode with a pair of bottom quarks, which is difficult to observe at the LHC. We are very excited about it."

However, the Tevatron researchers admitted it would be up to the LHC to properly "discover" the so-called God particle. Scientists are very careful about announcing a discovery, preferring to be absolutely sure before they say anything, which has led to endless strong evidence for the Higgs boson, but no certainty. …

[Olog-hai]

Hulk like puny particle punisher! Hulk smash big particles, maybe Hulk smash LHC too! (OK, enough of that.)

[Venturer]

They did away with the Space Program and kept this?

[Olog-hai]

I thought they shut down Tevatron last year in the fall.

What they should have gone ahead with was the SSC, but the Clinton administration killed that one.

[samtheman]

“We have developed sophisticated simulation and analysis programs to identify Higgs-like patterns. Still, it is easier to look for a friend’s face in a sports stadium filled with 100,000 people than to search for a Higgs-like event among trillions of collisions.”

Call in Michael Mann. He's your man.

If anyone can find anything in data, Michael can.

[SunkenCiv]

Thanks Olog-hai. Tevatron and Higgs Boson keywords (minus one; sorted):

• Puny US particle punisher finds strong evidence for God particle
• Evidence of 'God particle' found
• APNewsBreak: Proof of 'God particle' found
• God particle is 'found': Scientists at Cern expected to announce on Wednesday Higgs boson..
• Higgs boson buzz hits new heights
• Astronomy Picture of the Day -- Higgs Boson Explained by Cartoon
• Elusive Higgs Boson Particle Closer Than Ever, Scientists Say
• Elusive Higgs Boson Particle Closer Than Ever, Scientists Say
• Astronomy Picture of the Day -- Hints of Higgs from the Large Hadron Collider
• Particle physics is at a turning point [ Higgs boson and String Theory ]
• Physicists Anxiously Await New Data on 'God Particle'
• Search for God Particle is nearly over, as CERN prepares to announce findings
• Tevatron atom smasher shuts after more than 25 years
• Could the Higgs boson explain the size of the Universe?
• Scientists Abuzz Over Controversial Rumor that God Particle Has Been Detected
• At Particle Lab, a Tantalizing Glimpse Has Physicists Holding Their Breaths
• Search for microscopic black hole signatures at the Large Hadron Collider [String Theory Fails]
• The Tevatron
• Proof of extra dimensions possible next year: CERN
• Angels or Demons? Will CERN's LHC Experiments Point to the Existence of Another Universe?
• The strange case of solar flares and radioactive elements
• Higgs boson discovery rumours false, say Tevatron scientists (ARG!)
• Large Hadron Collider Rival Tevatron 'Has Found Higgs boson', say Rumours
• Large Hadron Collider rival Tevatron 'has found Higgs boson'
• Large Hadron Collider: scientists create sound of 'God particle'
• Fermilab Experiment Hints At Multiple Higgs Particles
• Record-breaking collisions (Large Hadron Collider producing more mesons than expected)
• Hadron Collider physicist Adlene Hicheur charged with terrorism
• The Collider, the Particle and a Theory About Fate
• A lighter Higgs makes particle hunt harder
• Single top quark detected
• Physicists get closer to finding the 'God Particle'
• LHC Might Not Be Back Online Until 2010 or Later (Large Hadron Collider)
• Standard model gets right answer for proton, neutron masses
• 5 Things You Need to Know About the Large Hadron Collider Now
• Meet Evans the Atom, who will end the world on Wednesday (Experiment:Uncover Secrets of 'Big Bang')
• First particles injected into Large Hadron Collider atom smasher
• The Large Hadron Collider was tested this weekend and a black hole hasn't destroyed the Earth...yet
• Atom-smashing lab says experiment to start end-June [scofs at fear of black hole destroying Earth]
• Written in the skies: why quantum mechanics might be wrong
• New atom-smasher could fill gaps in scientific knowledge -- or open a black hole
• Prof Peter Higgs interview: Smashing atoms at CERN and the hunt for the 'God' particle
• Key scientist sure "God particle" will be found soon
• Veteran physicist hopes secret of universe lies underground
• Greatest Mysteries: Is There a Theory of Everything?
• No sign of the Higgs boson
• Big Bang at the atomic lab after scientists get their maths wrong
• Desperately seeking the Higgs boson
• Physicists Find Tiny Particle With No Charge, Very Low Mass And Sub-nanosecond Lifetime
• Discovery Prospects at the Large Hadron Collider
• The Mysteries of Mass
• Taking a chance on physics
• Top Quark Measurements Give 'God Particle' New Lease On Life
• Top Quark Measurements Give 'God Particle' New Lease on Life
• 'God particle' may have been seen
• A vast cavern is the stage for tests to find the 'God particle'
• New Step Underground in Universe Origins Quest (LHC)
• Racing to the 'God Particle'
• Physicists Say Can Find No Sign of 'God Particle'

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