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Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed, claim scientists
The Telegraph ^ | 8-18-09 | Richard Alleyne

Posted on 08/18/2009 5:30:00 PM PDT by dynachrome

Civilisation would most likely be finished in the event of a zombie outbreak, claim Canadian mathematicians who have calculated the possible devastation caused by an attack by the fictional monsters. Using models developed to calculate the effects of more plausible pandemics, the team from the University of Ottawa have discovered that unless man struck back quickly and aggressively then they would be doomed.

The scientific paper, which is published in a book “Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress”, looks at an attack by the undead creatures, who infect the living with a bite.

In their study, titled When Zombies Attack!, the researchers picked “classic” slow-moving zombies such as those in Dawn of the Dead as models and divided humanity into three: the living, zombies and the “removed” – zombies who had been killed by decapitation.

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains; canada; doomed; napl; votes4democrats; zombies
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Well, the mods were in a bad mood and removed this from "breaking" and altogether, so here it is in chat.

What are those Canadians smoking?

LOL

1 posted on 08/18/2009 5:30:00 PM PDT by dynachrome
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To: dynachrome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM


2 posted on 08/18/2009 5:30:47 PM PDT by Lorianne
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To: fanfan

Canadian weirdness ping!


3 posted on 08/18/2009 5:30:48 PM PDT by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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To: dynachrome

We need to see more of THIS kind of ground-breaking research with practical application! Excellent!


4 posted on 08/18/2009 5:31:35 PM PDT by dinodino
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To: dinodino

And they got taxpayer money to do this, no doubt. I want their job!


5 posted on 08/18/2009 5:33:41 PM PDT by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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To: null and void

for your little rodent, and mine.


6 posted on 08/18/2009 5:33:55 PM PDT by Shimmer1 (Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.It's already tomorrow in Australia. CharlesSchulz)
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To: dynachrome

7 posted on 08/18/2009 5:34:31 PM PDT by TSgt (I long for Norman Rockwell's America.)
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To: dynachrome
Second thread on this.

8 posted on 08/18/2009 5:34:32 PM PDT by allmost
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To: MikeWUSAF

9 posted on 08/18/2009 5:35:58 PM PDT by Rodebrecht (Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.)
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To: dynachrome
If they really existed?Ever heard of Obamabots?And they`re on the move!
10 posted on 08/18/2009 5:37:35 PM PDT by nomad
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To: MikeWUSAF

That’s great!!! LOL!!!


11 posted on 08/18/2009 5:37:53 PM PDT by AmericanMermaid
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To: allmost

Well, the mods did not like me putting the first one in “breaking news”

No sense of humor today.


12 posted on 08/18/2009 5:37:59 PM PDT by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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To: dynachrome
They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

I just divorced mine.
13 posted on 08/18/2009 5:39:06 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
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To: dynachrome

With my small arsenal I could hold out for a while.


14 posted on 08/18/2009 5:41:22 PM PDT by LukeL (Yasser Arafat: "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize")
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To: dynachrome


15 posted on 08/18/2009 5:41:30 PM PDT by Cheburashka (Stephen Decatur: you want barrels of gunpowder as tribute, you must expect cannonballs with it.)
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To: dynachrome; Clive; exg; kanawa; backhoe; -YYZ-; Squawk 8888; headsonpikes; AntiKev; Snowyman; ...
Thanks for the ping, Dynachrome.


16 posted on 08/18/2009 5:41:30 PM PDT by fanfan (Why did they bury Barry's past?)
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To: dynachrome; Darksheare

Zombie ping.


17 posted on 08/18/2009 5:42:18 PM PDT by fanfan (Why did they bury Barry's past?)
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To: dynachrome

*snort* I could have told you THAT! I saw Night of the Living Dead and Resident Evil-

Resident Evil makes me think of what might happen with the swine flu shots.......


18 posted on 08/18/2009 5:42:42 PM PDT by wombtotomb (Equal opportunity does NOT mean equal outcome!!)
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To: fanfan

What are those Canadian mathemeticians smoking, anyway? LOL


19 posted on 08/18/2009 5:44:09 PM PDT by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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To: dynachrome

Zombies would ruin humanity like they ruin movies. I hate it when I randomly start watching a movie, the premise looks good, and then zombies show up and turn the whole movie into a big pile of suck. That’s worse than finding out the movie you’re watching is a musical. They always try to sneak that in on you. There oughta be a law, I tells ya.


20 posted on 08/18/2009 5:44:38 PM PDT by mysterio
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To: dynachrome

"Bring it on."
21 posted on 08/18/2009 5:48:38 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. -- Texas Eagle)
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To: mysterio

I don’t know. I thought Sean of the dead was pretty good for a zombie flick.


22 posted on 08/18/2009 5:49:53 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
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To: dynachrome
What are those Canadian mathemeticians smoking, anyway? LOL

Ya know, they may have a point.

The zombies are here already.

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

Think about it.

23 posted on 08/18/2009 5:50:12 PM PDT by fanfan (Why did they bury Barry's past?)
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To: dynachrome

One to the brain
and not the chest.
Headshots are the very best.

Fido


24 posted on 08/18/2009 5:51:10 PM PDT by Shooter 2.5 (NRA /Patron - TSRA- IDPA)
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To: cripplecreek
That was the least annoying one I've ever seen, but I still had to be forced to watch it. Oh, wait, I did like the Serpent and the Rainbow, but that one was sort of different and I was like 13 so it doesn't count.

A good rule of thumb is if you're a writer and you're thinking of making a zombie movie, musical, or a zombie musical, don't. The life you save may be mine.
25 posted on 08/18/2009 5:52:41 PM PDT by mysterio
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To: dynachrome
I have loved zombie movies ever since I was a kid, but even as a kid I always thought the plots were unrealistic even in a world where zombies existed. They were so damn slow and easy to kill I don't think the military would have much trouble with them. How could zombies cause more trouble than intelligent people with weapons who the military is trained to fight?
26 posted on 08/18/2009 5:52:43 PM PDT by ThermoNuclearWarrior (Obama is a fraud and is ineligible for the Presidency!)
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To: dynachrome
This is ridiculous. Everyone knows that you can control zombies through the use of black magic and willpower.

That's how Obama won the election.
27 posted on 08/18/2009 5:53:33 PM PDT by VisualizeSmallerGovernment
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To: dynachrome

I was about to ask if our stimulus money paid for this study, but then I saw that it came from north of the border. I didn’t know they had zombies up there.


28 posted on 08/18/2009 5:53:43 PM PDT by Rocky (OBAMA: Succeeding where bin Laden failed.)
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To: dynachrome

If you don’t have plate mail and a long pike, you aren’t ready.


29 posted on 08/18/2009 5:54:27 PM PDT by Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus (We bury Democrats face down so that when they scratch, they get closer to home.)
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To: ThermoNuclearWarrior

“28 Days Later” gave the fast zombie scenario.

Good movie.


30 posted on 08/18/2009 5:55:28 PM PDT by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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To: mysterio

Speaking of zombie musicals, what do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4WbwwhBmRk


31 posted on 08/18/2009 5:55:36 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

You gotta be kidding me ping.


32 posted on 08/18/2009 5:56:13 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: dynachrome

28 days later creeped me out. Fast zombies are bad news.


33 posted on 08/18/2009 5:56:34 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
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To: Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus

Machete. No reloading required.


34 posted on 08/18/2009 5:56:53 PM PDT by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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To: dynachrome

This looks like nobel prize material to me. They’ve been giving awards to zombies for decades now.


35 posted on 08/18/2009 5:56:58 PM PDT by samtheman
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To: mysterio
A good rule of thumb is if you're a writer and you're thinking of making a zombie movie, musical, or a zombie musical, don't.

I was only following orders.
36 posted on 08/18/2009 5:57:34 PM PDT by VisualizeSmallerGovernment
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To: dynachrome

As strange as it may sound, I’m kinda hoping for a zombie outbreak just to get my mind off of politics and maybe get some real shooting in..........plus get rid of a heck of a lot of built up aggression.


37 posted on 08/18/2009 5:57:46 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco (Who's your Long Legged MacDaddy?)
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To: dynachrome

Good damned thing I have zombie killing guns!


38 posted on 08/18/2009 5:58:20 PM PDT by Domandred (Fdisk, format, and reinstall the entire .gov system. I am Jim Thompson.)
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To: mysterio

You got that right about musicals. [shiver]


39 posted on 08/18/2009 5:58:54 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: ThermoNuclearWarrior
How could zombies cause more trouble than intelligent people with weapons who the military is trained to fight?

Yeah, well, that's what we all thought before the Battle of Yonkers....

40 posted on 08/18/2009 5:59:48 PM PDT by Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus (We bury Democrats face down so that when they scratch, they get closer to home.)
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To: cripplecreek
Awesome! Don't forget Superman's song.
41 posted on 08/18/2009 6:00:30 PM PDT by mysterio
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To: dynachrome

Hoiw timely, I just finished reasding WAORLD WAR Z.

42 posted on 08/18/2009 6:01:55 PM PDT by SAMWolf (The difference between God and Barack Obama is that God doesn't think he's Barack Obama)
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To: dynachrome
“28 Days Later” gave the fast zombie scenario.

...that was good but "Quarantine" really creeped me out

43 posted on 08/18/2009 6:02:20 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco (Who's your Long Legged MacDaddy?)
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To: dynachrome
Zombie Simulation
44 posted on 08/18/2009 6:09:39 PM PDT by Dallas59
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To: SAMWolf

Bob Hope on Zombies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWpU8sX10_4


45 posted on 08/18/2009 6:11:31 PM PDT by fatima (Free Hugs Today :))
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To: Hot Tabasco

All I know is a zombie infestation is a dream come true in my neck of the woods. Open hunting season with no bag limit will go over well in East Texas. In fact we’d be willing to mop up other areas once ours were all clear.

I think my 70+ Mom is better armed than Canada.


46 posted on 08/18/2009 6:12:30 PM PDT by 1scrappymom
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To: Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus

Ahhh A World War Z reader.....spooky book.


47 posted on 08/18/2009 6:13:37 PM PDT by Yorlik803 ( If this be treason, then lets make the best of it.)
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To: dynachrome
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGzFaENzhf8

Intro to World War Z - awesome read if you like zombie's of scifi

48 posted on 08/18/2009 6:13:42 PM PDT by Illuminatas (Being conservative means never having to say; "Don't you dare question my patriotism")
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To: SAMWolf

Rumor has it they will make a movie out of it. with Brad Pitt. ugh.

(World War Z. Best zombie novel ever. Max Brooks is the son of Mel Brooks)


49 posted on 08/18/2009 6:14:03 PM PDT by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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To: Illuminatas

Best zombie novel I have read.

Might be a movie. Starring Brad Pitt, though.


50 posted on 08/18/2009 6:17:02 PM PDT by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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