Skip to comments.Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed, claim scientists
Posted on 08/18/2009 5:30:00 PM PDT by dynachrome
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Bob Hope was one of the greats, and I say that as one who has made a life-work of wisecracking.
All I want to know is how much THIS study cost.
I can’t resist posting the link to a previous version because of the graphics there.
Major applause for # 30!
Yes, and I bow to your superior skill and lack of derision at my humble attempts.
To you? Nada. It’s Canadian.
You do just fine. Seriesly.
Bart: Homer! You shot the zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
I’m just curious how much those doing these “studies” get paid. I see some crazy ones from England too.
It could be a good racket, I mean business, to get into. They haven’t offshored these to India yet, have they?
They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.
A threat must be assessed.
"The whole concept of stability is a concept of death. It's part of my problem with the Bambi concept of natural history, where everything is beautiful and cute and benign. It's not the world. The world isn't like that at all. You're either 'prey, you're an 'enemy', or you're 'ignored'. Now think about all the islands. Island wildlife was wiped out because people could walk up to them with a stick and hit it on the head because it's much easier to kill something that doesn't see you as an enemy. By the time they realized it, they were extinct."- Ray Mendez, mole-rat specialist "Fast, Cheap, & Out of Control" (1997)
In this case, probably nothing. I’m willing to bet that they already had the tools for serious research, and ran the numbers for ***** and giggles.
Scientists gotta have fun too.
Seriously, this is as much a threat to humanity as Global Warming or ManBearPig...
1. Infectious - their numbers increase with every victim. Even the wounded are potential zombies. This also means that zombies always have quantitative superiority.
2. Undead - things that would kill or disable a human being would hardly even slow down a zombie. Hitting a zombie with a flame thrower just gives you a flaming zombie. The only things that work are massive head trauma and dismemberment.
3. Persistence - they don't stop attacking day or night. They never rest. They never run away. You can't reason or negotiate with them.
4. Morale - Zombies - ick! Dead friends attacking you - eek! Also, a fear of infection. Having to kill your own wounded with a head shot to prevent more zombies would be a big morale hit, too.
That said, the solution is actually pretty easy - armored vehicles, especially bulldozers. The zombies can't hurt the AFV, and it can grind ‘em up wholesale. The only limitation is the amount of petrol and diesel available to keep them running.
Of course, no one has yet discussed the moral implications of “killing” zombies, should a zombie attack be imminent.
For a handy primer, see Jimmy Akins “Theology of the Living Dead”:
That’s because there are no “moral implications.” They’re dead. They need to lie still, not talk and not attempt to operate heavy machinery.
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