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Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed, claim scientists
The Telegraph ^ | 8-18-09 | Richard Alleyne

Posted on 08/18/2009 5:30:00 PM PDT by dynachrome

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A cute little game - Plants vs Zombies (http://www.popcap.com/games/pvz) I love the Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ zombie with dancers. Fun and cute, but the guys will probably think it’s lame.


51 posted on 08/18/2009 6:25:19 PM PDT by radiohead (Buy ammo, get your kids out of government schools, pray for the Republic.)
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To: dynachrome

> What are those Canadians smoking?

BC Bud is the best.


52 posted on 08/18/2009 6:25:24 PM PDT by max americana (i)
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To: dynachrome

They exist...
In the House and Senate!


53 posted on 08/18/2009 6:25:37 PM PDT by shadowcat
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To: Eaker

Don’t show Beaker this thread ping.


54 posted on 08/18/2009 6:28:35 PM PDT by TheMom (I'm gonna be a grandma! Kaiden Thomas is due to arrive 09/09/09.)
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To: dynachrome
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
55 posted on 08/18/2009 6:34:17 PM PDT by Sax
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To: dynachrome

56 posted on 08/18/2009 6:44:15 PM PDT by FReepaholic (Jump You F**kers!)
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To: humblegunner

Malcolm counting zombies ping!


57 posted on 08/18/2009 6:51:12 PM PDT by Eaker (The Two Loudest Sounds in the World.....Bang When it should have been Click and the Reverse.)
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To: Shooter 2.5

Good Dead are hard to find.

Looks like two of us have seen that flick.


58 posted on 08/18/2009 6:57:43 PM PDT by bleach (Wake me in 2012)
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To: fanfan; kanawa

Too cold in Canada for zombies!


59 posted on 08/18/2009 6:58:41 PM PDT by Eaker (The Two Loudest Sounds in the World.....Bang When it should have been Click and the Reverse.)
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To: KoRn; TheOldLady; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
Garbage in, garbage out.


60 posted on 08/18/2009 7:14:03 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Zombie Boot Camp

http://www.kontraband.com/videos/18998/Zombie-Boot-Camp/#show


61 posted on 08/18/2009 7:20:33 PM PDT by Sax
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To: dynachrome; GodGunsGuts; Fichori; tpanther; valkyry1; Mr. Silverback; Gordon Greene; ...

Grant money is being wasted on this *scientific* research?

I’m working way too hard for a living......


62 posted on 08/18/2009 7:29:50 PM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: dynachrome

I wonder if we could get the “global warming scientists” to switch over to zombie control modeling. They could still get full employment, which seems to be the motivation behind their useless simulations, but they would do no damage at all unless we had to deal with a real zombie outbreak. I’d call that a huge improvement from the current cap-and-trade carbon-credit fiasco that is killing our economy.


63 posted on 08/18/2009 7:29:56 PM PDT by TurtleUp (flag@whitehouse.gov <------- So this is how liberty dies - to thunderous applause!)
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To: Slings and Arrows


64 posted on 08/18/2009 7:35:32 PM PDT by GregoTX (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.)
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To: dynachrome
I guess we should be grateful that so far all the dead are doing is voting for democrats.

Any word on what would happen if Godzilla were real?

65 posted on 08/18/2009 7:38:57 PM PDT by txroadkill (I already told on all of you!)
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To: dynachrome

I don’t get it... this is more “News” than most of what they call news on network television. And with the way Fox does “Breaking News” stories, this ranks right up there with the Hindenburg, The Boston Strangler and Paris Hilton’s new bikini.


66 posted on 08/18/2009 7:46:58 PM PDT by Gordon Greene (www.fracturedrepublic.com - Jesus said, "I am THE way, THE truth and THE life." Any questions?)
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To: metmom
Just don't come down with the swine flu!

“Modelling zombies would be the same as modelling swine flu, with some differences for sure, but it is much more interesting to read.”

“They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.”

67 posted on 08/18/2009 7:47:55 PM PDT by count-your-change (You don't have be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Buckle your seatbelts.

Zombies have been outsourced to India!

Bollywood zombies doing Thriller!

http://www.kontraband.com/videos/4684/Asian-Thriller/#show


68 posted on 08/18/2009 7:48:11 PM PDT by Sax
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To: dynachrome
My first thoughts were...

Who would waste their time on a “study” like this?

Did they actually get paid for their time?

If so, who paid for this nonsense?

69 posted on 08/18/2009 7:51:07 PM PDT by airborne (Don't let history record that, when faced with evil, you did nothing!)
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To: Sax
What's YOUR zombie plan?
70 posted on 08/18/2009 7:51:37 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: GregoTX
Best movie line ever.
71 posted on 08/18/2009 7:55:20 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Gay Zombies!

http://www.kontraband.com/videos/12484/Gay-Zombies-OMG/#show


72 posted on 08/18/2009 7:59:07 PM PDT by Sax
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To: All
Awwwwww man!!!! ZOMBIE'S here!!!

73 posted on 08/18/2009 8:51:32 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (BG x 2 (and a heartbeat was heard today....))
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To: metmom

Thanks for the ping!


74 posted on 08/18/2009 8:52:40 PM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: txroadkill

He’d be registered to vote in Chicago.


75 posted on 08/18/2009 9:01:12 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: airborne; fanfan

I hope the Canadian taxpayers didn’t have to my for this.

Some Canadians might have to wait a few more weeks to get an MRI, thanks to this study.


76 posted on 08/18/2009 9:29:08 PM PDT by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123)
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To: dynachrome

Actually, this is a pretty good modeling exercise for scientists trying to understand the spread of epidemics.

Anyone who plays World of Warcraft may remember an outbreak of people becoming ghouls around a year ago. For a day, it was impossible to do anything because the ghoul curse was so contagious. That incident was analyzed by infectious disease specialists whose article about it was published in Science. Even though it happened in a fantasy universe, it gave real insights.

The more we can understand about how diseases are spread, the more we are prepared to contain or halt epidemics/pandemics. Right now, we still know very little. If a tool for gaining insight is a thought exercise based on a silly premise for the amusement of the scientists, the lessons are still valid.


77 posted on 08/18/2009 9:47:28 PM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: bleach

Fido, my favorite zombie.


78 posted on 08/19/2009 4:39:21 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Sax

ROFL! No translation required.


79 posted on 08/19/2009 4:42:31 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Slings and Arrows

Ah, Bob Hope, he did so much for everyone, and especially the troops. Laughing at his jokes and movies was a real pleasure when I was growing up.

At the time I was a little insulted about the Democrat joke because everyone in my family was of that political persuasion, but after growing up, I realized how right he was.


80 posted on 08/19/2009 4:57:50 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: TheOldLady

Bob Hope was one of the greats, and I say that as one who has made a life-work of wisecracking.


81 posted on 08/19/2009 7:09:41 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Revolting cat!

All I want to know is how much THIS study cost.


82 posted on 08/19/2009 7:22:14 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (There is no truth in the Pravda Media.)
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To: dynachrome; chuck_the_tv_out

Funny thread!

I can’t resist posting the link to a previous version because of the graphics there.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2319098/posts?page=30#30

Major applause for # 30!


83 posted on 08/19/2009 7:58:38 AM PDT by Titan Magroyne (Freedom is taken, not given.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Yes, and I bow to your superior skill and lack of derision at my humble attempts.


84 posted on 08/19/2009 8:16:30 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: a fool in paradise

To you? Nada. It’s Canadian.


85 posted on 08/19/2009 8:50:46 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: TheOldLady

You do just fine. Seriesly.


86 posted on 08/19/2009 8:51:23 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: dynachrome

Bart: Homer! You shot the zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?


87 posted on 08/19/2009 8:54:58 AM PDT by RabidBartender
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To: Slings and Arrows

I’m just curious how much those doing these “studies” get paid. I see some crazy ones from England too.

It could be a good racket, I mean business, to get into. They haven’t offshored these to India yet, have they?


88 posted on 08/19/2009 8:56:07 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (There is no truth in the Pravda Media.)
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To: dynachrome
In their study, titled When Zombies Attack!, the researchers picked “classic” slow-moving zombies such as those in Dawn of the Dead as models and divided humanity into three: the living, zombies and the “removed” – zombies who had been killed by decapitation.

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

A threat must be assessed.

"The whole concept of stability is a concept of death. It's part of my problem with the Bambi concept of natural history, where everything is beautiful and cute and benign. It's not the world. The world isn't like that at all. You're either 'prey, you're an 'enemy', or you're 'ignored'. Now think about all the islands. Island wildlife was wiped out because people could walk up to them with a stick and hit it on the head because it's much easier to kill something that doesn't see you as an enemy. By the time they realized it, they were extinct."
- Ray Mendez, mole-rat specialist "Fast, Cheap, & Out of Control" (1997)
89 posted on 08/19/2009 8:58:56 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (There is no truth in the Pravda Media.)
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To: a fool in paradise

In this case, probably nothing. I’m willing to bet that they already had the tools for serious research, and ran the numbers for ***** and giggles.

Scientists gotta have fun too.


90 posted on 08/19/2009 9:00:01 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: All

Seriously, this is as much a threat to humanity as Global Warming or ManBearPig...


91 posted on 08/19/2009 9:14:36 AM PDT by Maverick68 (w)
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To: ThermoNuclearWarrior
Well its silly, but:

1. Infectious - their numbers increase with every victim. Even the wounded are potential zombies. This also means that zombies always have quantitative superiority.
2. Undead - things that would kill or disable a human being would hardly even slow down a zombie. Hitting a zombie with a flame thrower just gives you a flaming zombie. The only things that work are massive head trauma and dismemberment.
3. Persistence - they don't stop attacking day or night. They never rest. They never run away. You can't reason or negotiate with them.
4. Morale - Zombies - ick! Dead friends attacking you - eek! Also, a fear of infection. Having to kill your own wounded with a head shot to prevent more zombies would be a big morale hit, too.

That said, the solution is actually pretty easy - armored vehicles, especially bulldozers. The zombies can't hurt the AFV, and it can grind ‘em up wholesale. The only limitation is the amount of petrol and diesel available to keep them running.

92 posted on 08/19/2009 9:19:48 AM PDT by Little Ray (Do we have a Plan B?)
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To: Little Ray

Of course, no one has yet discussed the moral implications of “killing” zombies, should a zombie attack be imminent.

For a handy primer, see Jimmy Akins “Theology of the Living Dead”:
http://www.jimmyakin.org/2005/08/theology_of_the.html


93 posted on 08/23/2009 9:05:45 PM PDT by fidelis (fidelis)
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To: fidelis

That’s because there are no “moral implications.” They’re dead. They need to lie still, not talk and not attempt to operate heavy machinery.


94 posted on 08/24/2009 8:37:57 AM PDT by Little Ray (Obama is a kamikaze president aimed at the heart of this Republic.)
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