Skip to comments.Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed, claim scientists
Posted on 08/18/2009 5:30:00 PM PDT by dynachrome
click here to read article
A cute little game - Plants vs Zombies (http://www.popcap.com/games/pvz) I love the Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ zombie with dancers. Fun and cute, but the guys will probably think it’s lame.
> What are those Canadians smoking?
BC Bud is the best.
In the House and Senate!
Don’t show Beaker this thread ping.
Malcolm counting zombies ping!
Good Dead are hard to find.
Looks like two of us have seen that flick.
Too cold in Canada for zombies!
Zombie Boot Camp
Grant money is being wasted on this *scientific* research?
I’m working way too hard for a living......
I wonder if we could get the “global warming scientists” to switch over to zombie control modeling. They could still get full employment, which seems to be the motivation behind their useless simulations, but they would do no damage at all unless we had to deal with a real zombie outbreak. I’d call that a huge improvement from the current cap-and-trade carbon-credit fiasco that is killing our economy.
Any word on what would happen if Godzilla were real?
I don’t get it... this is more “News” than most of what they call news on network television. And with the way Fox does “Breaking News” stories, this ranks right up there with the Hindenburg, The Boston Strangler and Paris Hilton’s new bikini.
“Modelling zombies would be the same as modelling swine flu, with some differences for sure, but it is much more interesting to read.
“They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.”
Buckle your seatbelts.
Zombies have been outsourced to India!
Bollywood zombies doing Thriller!
Who would waste their time on a “study” like this?
Did they actually get paid for their time?
If so, who paid for this nonsense?
Thanks for the ping!
He’d be registered to vote in Chicago.
I hope the Canadian taxpayers didn’t have to my for this.
Some Canadians might have to wait a few more weeks to get an MRI, thanks to this study.
Actually, this is a pretty good modeling exercise for scientists trying to understand the spread of epidemics.
Anyone who plays World of Warcraft may remember an outbreak of people becoming ghouls around a year ago. For a day, it was impossible to do anything because the ghoul curse was so contagious. That incident was analyzed by infectious disease specialists whose article about it was published in Science. Even though it happened in a fantasy universe, it gave real insights.
The more we can understand about how diseases are spread, the more we are prepared to contain or halt epidemics/pandemics. Right now, we still know very little. If a tool for gaining insight is a thought exercise based on a silly premise for the amusement of the scientists, the lessons are still valid.
Fido, my favorite zombie.
ROFL! No translation required.
Ah, Bob Hope, he did so much for everyone, and especially the troops. Laughing at his jokes and movies was a real pleasure when I was growing up.
At the time I was a little insulted about the Democrat joke because everyone in my family was of that political persuasion, but after growing up, I realized how right he was.
Bob Hope was one of the greats, and I say that as one who has made a life-work of wisecracking.
All I want to know is how much THIS study cost.
I can’t resist posting the link to a previous version because of the graphics there.
Major applause for # 30!
Yes, and I bow to your superior skill and lack of derision at my humble attempts.
To you? Nada. It’s Canadian.
You do just fine. Seriesly.
Bart: Homer! You shot the zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
I’m just curious how much those doing these “studies” get paid. I see some crazy ones from England too.
It could be a good racket, I mean business, to get into. They haven’t offshored these to India yet, have they?
They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.
A threat must be assessed.
"The whole concept of stability is a concept of death. It's part of my problem with the Bambi concept of natural history, where everything is beautiful and cute and benign. It's not the world. The world isn't like that at all. You're either 'prey, you're an 'enemy', or you're 'ignored'. Now think about all the islands. Island wildlife was wiped out because people could walk up to them with a stick and hit it on the head because it's much easier to kill something that doesn't see you as an enemy. By the time they realized it, they were extinct."- Ray Mendez, mole-rat specialist "Fast, Cheap, & Out of Control" (1997)
In this case, probably nothing. I’m willing to bet that they already had the tools for serious research, and ran the numbers for ***** and giggles.
Scientists gotta have fun too.
Seriously, this is as much a threat to humanity as Global Warming or ManBearPig...
1. Infectious - their numbers increase with every victim. Even the wounded are potential zombies. This also means that zombies always have quantitative superiority.
2. Undead - things that would kill or disable a human being would hardly even slow down a zombie. Hitting a zombie with a flame thrower just gives you a flaming zombie. The only things that work are massive head trauma and dismemberment.
3. Persistence - they don't stop attacking day or night. They never rest. They never run away. You can't reason or negotiate with them.
4. Morale - Zombies - ick! Dead friends attacking you - eek! Also, a fear of infection. Having to kill your own wounded with a head shot to prevent more zombies would be a big morale hit, too.
That said, the solution is actually pretty easy - armored vehicles, especially bulldozers. The zombies can't hurt the AFV, and it can grind ‘em up wholesale. The only limitation is the amount of petrol and diesel available to keep them running.
Of course, no one has yet discussed the moral implications of “killing” zombies, should a zombie attack be imminent.
For a handy primer, see Jimmy Akins “Theology of the Living Dead”:
That’s because there are no “moral implications.” They’re dead. They need to lie still, not talk and not attempt to operate heavy machinery.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.