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GOSHEN — Score one for the deer. It looks like they'll have their choice of red or white after a local farmer who shot a deer to keep it from eating his grape vines last summer was ordered to put away his guns. Manuel Miranda was sentenced Friday in Litchfield's Bantam Court to probation and ordered not to use a firearm for two years. Miranda said he believed he was lawfully protecting his crop. Fed up with hungry deer eating his grape vines, the vineyard owner grabbed his shotgun July 23 and fired a charge of buckshot, a shell containing...

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford, UK : Dear Mrs. Murray, Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took...

I think it’s safe to assume their Twitter account has been hacked. Update: Yep. Now suspended.WARNING: Explicit language at link!

A priest in the Diocese of Scranton has been removed as administrator of three Throop parishes after he inadvertently displayed four photos of what a diocese spokesman called "minimally attired adult males" before the 8 a.m. Mass at St. Bridget's Church on Oct. 25. The Rev. Edward P. Lyman was using his personal computer to project an informational DVD about the diocesan Annual Appeal fundraiser when he accidentally showed the "inappropriate personal photographs" that were stored on his computer, according to a diocesan statement read at the Throop Masses on Sunday. Diocese spokesman William Genello said the photos were not...

The sudden loss of memory, called “transient global amnesia” or TGA, is caused by pressure in blood vessels in the brain, and can be triggered by strenuous activities, bowel movements, or – commonly – sex. The 59-year-old woman, known only as Alice, had the worrying experience after she and her husband Scott had sex last August. She suddenly, albeit temporarily, lost all memory of the last several years and the ability to form new memories. After sex they turned on the television, which was showing the Beijing Olympics, and she asked: "Is there an Olympics?" Scott told CNN: "I saw...

The Large Hadron Collider, the world's most powerful particle accelerator, just cannot catch a break. First, a coolant leak destroyed some of the magnets that guide the energy beam. Then LHC officials postponed the restart of the machine to add additional safety features. Now, a bird dropping a piece of bread on a section of the accelerator has, according to the Register, shut down the whole operation. The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident,...

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JOHNSON CITY, Tenn. – Jim Stevens said he's not particularly religious and is clueless about why an image resembling Jesus Christ keeps appearing on his pickup. Stevens, of Jonesborough, said nearly every morning, an image that looks to him like the face of Jesus Christ has appeared in the condensation on the driver's side window of his Isuzu truck. A Johnson City Press photo of the truck showed a facial image. Stevens said when he first saw the image, he figured it would evaporate and not return. But it kept reappearing for two weeks now.

OXFORD, Ohio (AP) - An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street ...

Bricklayer Shows Up At His Own Funeral in Brazil 59-year-old shocks mourners who believed they were burying crash victim Nov. 4, 2009 RIO DE JANEIRO - A Brazilian bricklayer reportedly killed in a car crash shocked his mourning family by showing up alive at his funeral. Relatives of Ademir Jorge Goncalves, 59, had identified him as the victim of a Sunday night car crash in Parana state in southern Brazil, police said. As is customary in Brazil, the funeral was held the following day, which happened to be the holiday of Finados, when Brazilians visit cemeteries to honor the dead....

A bank robber put the cat amongst the prison yard pigeons by demanding visitation rights for a pet moggie - who he claimed was the reincarnation of his dead mother! With her green eyes and soft fur, Gisela the cat is much more than a pet to jailbird Peter K. - and she has caused a prison farce in Werl, Germany. The 46-year-old bank robber was sentenced to five years imprisonment in 2007. Behind bars, it's his cat Gisela that the devout Buddhist misses most. And the reason is that he believes the feline is the reincarnation of his dead...

A 60-year-old man was burnt alive as he tried to kill his wife at their home in Feistritz an der Drau in Carinthia’s Villach-Land district today (Tues). Police said the man had doused himself and petrol and then poured it around his house before shouting "I will burn all of you to a crisp" and setting the home ablaze. The man was killed instantly as he was turned into a human torch but his wife and another man, whom police suspect she was having an affair with, escaped. They were treated for smoke inhalation at Villach provincial hospital.

Happy Birthday Jim Robinson We appreciate the hard work and dedication you have made towards the cause of conservatism. This forum has been a beacon of information, hope and friendship for thousands of people around the world. We all hope you will have a wonderful birthday & great year ahead TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous; Poetry; The Poetry Branch; Click to Add TopicKEYWORDS: amysplace; april; friends; friendship; Click to Add Keyword [ Report Abuse | Bookmark ]

Freepers, we need your help!Obama and his followers were spoofed in Saturday's NYC Village Halloween Parade -- and now you can see it on YouTube and help the video go viral! These "Zombies for Obama" marched in the rain up the Avenue of the Americas, following a demonic Obama and his giant pitcher of Kool-Aid. They did this in the heart of liberal Manhattan (the West Village) among the enemy. We were lucky to find a professional videographer to volunteer his services, and now that the video is on YouTube, it looks like it may go viral! After one day...

Say what you want about Republican gubernatorial candidate Chris Christie, but he knows a little something about the good people of New Jersey. In Texas, they may like candidates who strongly defend the right to bear arms. And in Wisconsin, a fine knowledge of dairy issues might secure you votes. But in New Jersey, it's all about referencing vintage British comedy. Why else would Christie's campaign have produced a spot lifting old Monty Python footage wholesale while attacking Senator Corzine's alleged plans to hike tolls? It's all about giving the people what they want. And in a rough and tumble...

KINGSPORT, Tenn. - Police in Kingsport say a woman flagged down a passing car, got into the front passenger seat and offered sex to a police officer. . . . The document indicated the officer wasn't in uniform and told Solomon, when she asked, that he wasn't a policeman. . . . he drove her to the police station and told her she was under arrest for prostitution.

There’s an interesting article in the current New York Review of books (predictably, a book review) detailing the history of the National Security Agency, that shadowy power-behind-the-power to which we surrender much of our privacy. That in itself is interesting, but I found the introduction a bit shocking: the NSA is constructing a datacenter in the Utah desert that they project will be storing yottabytes of surveillance data. And what is a yottabyte? I’m glad you asked. There are a thousand gigabytes in a terabyte, a thousand terabytes in a petabyte, a thousand petabytes in an exabyte, a thousand exabytes...

A 10-ton fishing boat has been sunk by gigantic jellyfish off eastern Japan. One of the largest jellyfish in the world, the species can grow up to 2 meters in diameter. The last time Japan was invaded on a similar scale, in the summer of 2005, the jellyfish damaged nets, rendered fish inedible with their toxic stings and even caused injuries to fishermen. Relatively little is known about Nomura's jellyfish, such as why some years see thousands of the creatures floating across the Sea of Japan on the Tsushima Current, but last year there were virtually no sightings. In 2007,...

A German plastic surgeon has told how he built himself the perfect wife after wedding a "dowdy" woman "for her potential". Reza Vossough sculpted his 33-year-old bride Cany with eight surgeries to change her chest, thighs, eyes and face, The Sun newspaper reports. In pictures: Plastic surgery obsessions"It's almost like being God — you have the ability to change nature," the newspaper quoted him as saying. "When I first met Cany, she had physical deficiencies, but I could see there was something there ... she had big hips and big thighs, so we made corrections, then did a little bit...

AN Indian man claims he has been cheated by the cosmetics firm that makes popular deodorant Lynx after failing to land a girlfriend for the past seven years. Vaibhav Bev has been using Lynx deodorant since 2002, in the hope the company's promotional campaign - which features scantily clad women throwing themselves at men - had some basis in real life. Mr Bev is suing the maker of Lynx - marketed as Axe in his home country - for more than $100,000, seeking compensation for "depression and psychological damage". "I used it for seven years but no girl came to...

This is just too funny. Putting the joke-subtitles asside, what kind of cat behavior is this??? ...and I thought Hitler Obama-Hitler-You-Tube paradies were funny :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnY6k1ybTHg&feature=player_embedded

Cop brutality figure Rodney King turns celeb boxer King in the ring By O’Ryan Johnson / Herald Exclusive Sunday, November 1, 2009 Rodney King, the famed police punching bag whose beating caught on tape put a bull’s eye on cops and eventually led to the 1992 Los Angeles riots, has turned celebrity boxer and says he’s aching for a rematch with one of the members of L.A.’s “finest” who viciously pummeled him in March 1991. “I was supposed to fight one of the police officers that beat me. I worked out to get ready for it. But then somebody started...

SALT LAKE CITY — A rap by four teenagers at a McDonald's has gotten them a bad rap in one Utah city. The teens were cited by American Fork police earlier this week for disorderly conduct after they rapped their order at a McDonald's drive-through.

A naked man who climbed out of a window and hid on the ledge to escape his lover's furious husband has been caught on camera. Sun Meng has been given the cold shoulder by his community after the extraordinary picture of him cowering naked outside the flat were posted on the internet. The terrified 25-year-old fled from the balcony window when he was caught in bed with the man's wife at the married couple's flat in Chengdu, central China.

Wow. I just noticed something. Our commander-in-chief is the least alpha of any of the leaders of our former enemies from World War II and the Cold War: Germany, Italy, and Russia. While I knew Obama exhibited beta behavior, I had no idea it was this bad. Give me a minute and I’ll lay out pictorial proof. We all know that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi holds the title of “Intergalactic Alpha”. The 73 year-old silverback is banging 18 year-olds, has amassed a fortune, laid the smack down on his wife, and avoided indictment and/or lynching for his shenanigans....

An amazing piece of Street Theatre has been planned for this year's Village Halloween Parade... and all you patriotic New Yorkers are invited to participate -- as zombie followers of Obama! This is a follow-up to last year's successful skit, "Zombies for Obama," led again by artistic director Reynolds Butler. Parading up Sixth Avenue this October 31 will be a group of Obama-worshiping zombies, chanting "Hope... Change... Hope... Change..." and led by an outrageous and wonderfully offensive Barack Obama. You can participate in several ways: •March as a zombie follower of Obama •Blog about the event to increase publicity •Videotape...

10 - The Dentist 9 - Dogs 8 - Frightful Flight 7 - Thunder and Lightning 6 - The Dark 5 - Harrowing Heights 4 - Other People 3 - Scary Spaces 2 - Creepy Crawlies 1 - Slithering Snakes

Pamela Root's 2-year-old son was screaming for the Southwest Airlines plane to "Go! Plane! Go!" "I want Daddy!'' Adam shouted. Over and over again. Despite her embarrassment, the stay-at-home San Jose mom remained confident that once the plane took off and she fed him, Adam would calm down and take a nap — just as he had on the half-dozen other plane rides with Mom. The flight crew wasn't willing to find out. Root and her son, Adam, were on their way home to San Jose when they were kicked off Monday's Southwest Flight 637. "I left, rather embarrassed,'' Root...

A woman obsessed with swallowing spoons and forks was forced to have an operation after she ate an entire canteen of cutlery. Surgeons in Rotterdam, Holland, removed 78 different items of cutlery from Margaret Daalmans's stomach after she came to hospital complaining of stomach pains. An astonishing X-ray taken before the operation showed dozens of forks and spoons trapped inside the 52-year-old patient. "She seems to have been suffering from some sort of obsession and every time she sat down for a meal she would ignore the food and eat the cutlery," said one medic. The cutlery removed from the...

. TV preacher Pat Robertson’s Web site has just issued a bulletin warning Americans of the real threat we face this season: Demons may be lurking in our Halloween candy. In a column on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s Web site, writer Kimberly Daniels asserts that “demons” sneak into bags of Halloween candy at grocery stores. “[M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches,” Daniels wrote. “I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door...

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) - A Florida man accused of killing his son-in-law in New Jersey is arguing that he was unable to commit the crime because he was too fat. When Edward Ates takes the stand in his defense Wednesday, he's expected to tell jurors he wouldn't have had the energy needed to climb and descend the staircase where prosecutors say the killer was perched when he shot Paul Duncsak, a 40-year-old pharmaceutical executive, in 2006. An attorney for Ates claims that in 2006, the 62-year-old who stood 5 feet 8 and tipped the scales at 285 pounds was in...

EUCLID, OH (WTOL) - The Ohio Coast Guard is looking for two pirates on Lake Erie. A man was in his boat on the lake near Cleveland Monday when he says two people pulled up in boat along side him. They robbed him of all his cash, cell phone, keys --and took his fish. The Coast Guard is still searching for the pirates.

CARROLL, Iowa (AP) — Police had no trouble identifying two men accused of trying to break into a Carroll apartment. Police were responding to a call about an attempted burglary when they pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects' vehicle. Inside the car, officers found two men with their faces blackened with permanent marker. Police said the caller described two men with painted faces attempting to break into an apartment Friday night before driving off...(snip)

Love Can Mess You Up: Before Arthur David Horn met his future bride Lynette (a "metaphysical healer") in 1988, he was a tenured professor at Colorado State, with a Ph.D. in anthropology from Yale, teaching a mainstream course in human evolution. With Lynette's guidance (after a revelatory week with her in California's Trinity Mountains, searching for Bigfoot), Horn evolved, himself, resigning from Colorado State and seeking to remedy his inadequate Ivy League education. At a conference in Denver in September, Horn said he now realizes that humans come from an alien race of shape-shifting reptilians that continue to control civilization...

SAN DIEGO — A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison. -snip- Several days after his request was denied, McGowan pulled out a bag of excrement he had hidden in his clothing, rubbed it on his lawyer and tossed it at the jury, hitting one juror’s computer case.

DAYTON — A woman accused of celebrating her 55th birthday by having sex with a 12-year-old boy pleaded guilty to one count of gross sexual imposition of a person under age 13 on Friday, Oct. 23. Gloria J. Murphy, of 5440 Rawlings Drive, appeared before Montgomery County Common Pleas Judge Mary Katherine Huffman, who set sentencing for Dec. 2. The charge is a third-degree felony, punishable by up to five years in prison. Gloria J. Murphy, who uses a walker and an oxygen tube, appeared frail.

Police in Bucks County say a woman faces prostitution charges after posting an online ad seeking World Series tickets. Bensalem Township police said they made contact with the female after viewing her add on Craigslist.com. The woman then allegedly solicited an undercover police officer to perform various sex acts in exchange for the tickets. Charged with soliciting prostitution and related offenses was 43-year-old Susan Finkelstein, of the 900 block of St. Bernard Street in Philadelphia. According to police, her online ad read: "DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX (Philadelphia) Diehard Phillies fan--gorgeous tall buxom blonde-- in desperate need of two World...

WYCKOFF, N.J. — Twelve Jersey girls have shed their clothes to pose for a calendar to raise awareness about prostate cancer. Proceeds from “Stand By Your Man: 12 Women in Support of a Cure for Prostate Cancer” will go to the Prostate Cancer Coalition of New Jersey.

Let’s get the boring stuff out of the way. Albert Freed (pictured) won a trip to Hawaii (not pictured). As part of the vacation celebration, Mrs. Freed bought her husband some new Hanes brand briefs. But Mr. Freed is a husky gentleman, and apparently the new trunks couldn’t contain all of his junk. He sued Hanes, claiming they made “defective” underwear.

HUGO, Minn.- Four Minnesota friends fashioned a medieval catapult to fling a variety of objects -- such as wheelchairs and obsolete appliances -- into the sky, they said. The men, all in their 30s, built a trebuchet -- a catapult originally designed in the Middle Ages to hurl objects at castle walls -- the St. Paul (Minn.) Pioneer Press reported Sunday. The trebuchet was built by Kurt Modert, of Hugo; Roger Bacon, of White Bear Lake; Ryan Krueger, of Maple Grove; and David Proehl, of New Hope -- all municipalities in Minnesota -- the newspaper said. They're catapulting items like...

Iowa City police are investigating an early morning assault in which a man accused another of being a zombie, then punched him twice. Police said the assault occurred at 1:17 a.m. Sunday at an Iowa City restaurant south of the University of Iowa campus. A man was ordering food when he was approached by another man who called him a zombie, then hit him in the eye. When the victim tried to call police on his cell phone, the man punched him again, breaking his nose. The man then ran out a back door. The victim was taken by ambulance...

LANSING, Mich. - A Michigan pet store employee got himself a mouthful of cockroaches -- on purpose. The Lansing State Journal reported Sean Murphy on Friday stuffed 16 Madagascar hissing cockroaches into his mouth. He was trying to set a new Guinness World Records mark and said the old record was 11. Murphy initially got 12 squirming cockroaches into his mouth, but then kept adding them until he got to 16. He says it was a "big surprise" since he's never fit that many in his mouth before "in one try."

http://dontjudgemyhair.com/ You never know what wonders you will find on the internet. I haven't found a site this, er, interesting, since stuffonmycat.com.

HAPPILY married men should pray their wives are not among the anonymous contributors to Romi Lassally's upcoming book, "True Mom Confessions: Real Moms Get Real," out next month from Berkeley. -snip- Another notes: "I constantly fantasize about leaving my husband . . . for another woman." And one reveals: "Sometimes when my husband and I are in a fight, I purposely wear sexy underwear just to rub it in that he won't be getting any that night."

FLORENCE, Ariz. — One of the newest residents on Arizona's death row, serial killer Dale Hausner, poked his head up from his television to look at several visitors strolling by, each of whom wore face masks and vests to protect against the sharp homemade objects that often are propelled from the cells of the condemned. It is a dangerous place to patrol, and Arizona spends $4.7 million each year to house inmates such as Hausner in a super-maximum-security prison. But in a first in the criminal-justice world, the state's death-row inmates could become the responsibility of a private company.

October 16, 2009 Dear Cecil:What’s the deal with getting a song stuck in your head? Why does it happen, especially if it’s a song you don’t like or don’t even know well? Yet all you can think about is that stupid tune. Please enlighten me; I’m getting really sick of “Tainted Love” running circles through my brain.— MegCecil replies:You think you’ve got problems? My assistant Una claims she had the same tune running through her head off and on for 27 years. Only after laborious research online was she able to establish what it was: a concerto by Antonio Vivaldi,...

This has nothing to do with medicine – well maybe tangentially. I will now illustrate the different thought processes between men, women, and dogs.Dog pukes on kitchen floor. Dog: Damn! Man: Damn! Woman: Damn!Dog sniffs around area and begins to lick up vomit from floor. Dog: Hey! A warm meal! Man: Good boy! Woman: Don’t do THAT! BAD dog! Somebody put him outside! NO! DON’T use a wash cloth to clean it up! Paper towels. PAPER towels! Don’t throw the wash cloth in the washing machine now. Just throw it in the garbage. Eeeewwww. It didn’t touch any of the...

A Japanese man misdiagnosed as having rectal cancer is suing the hospital that he says unnecessarily gave him an artificial rectum. The man, who has not been identified, underwent surgery to remove a tumor in March at a university hospital in Miyzaki prefecture, western Japan. Following the surgery, his doctor informed him that no cancerous cells had been found in the removed tissue. The complainant is seeking 35 million yen (USD $385,000) in damages.

The mean-spirited would call it Darwinism at work. A suspected thief got the shock of his life after apparently trying to steal copper. The man is in a Northern California burn unit after his alleged robbery attempt when horribly wrong. Police were tipped to the crime by a power outage. Soon after the power went out someone called the Rodeo Fire Department to report a telephone pole fire. As crews responded to the fire, they noticed a man walking down the street suffering from visible burns. Investigators with the East Bay Regional Parks District say they think the man was...

MOSCOW, Russia (CNN) -- A bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan, killing one of them, Kyrgyz officials said Friday.