Slings and Arrows

Retired Taglines
[Taglines in quotation marks were not authored by me.]

* "The Israelis slaughtered every man, woman and child in Gaza! (Well, some of us got better...)"

* I strongly condemn violence against adulterous gay cannibals.

* Note for visitors at Arafat's grave - first dance, THEN pee.

* "If there were a Special Olympics of politics, Howard Dean would have a chest full of medals."

* "Every family should have a crew-served weapon." --magslinger

* Go Sharon! And take Peres with you!

* It took 6 grand juries to indict Tom Delay. That's 5 more than it takes to indict a ham sandwich.

* Scott Ritter: "Bush, Blair like Nazis."---Texas Eagle: "Well, good. Let's invade France."

* Jack Russell Terriers: G-d's way of telling you "Your lawn is too nice."

* Horry County Chairman, Republicans for Sharpton

* If I could write like Jack Chick, I'd never have given up parody.

* Diplomacy is my middle name. I don't know what Mom and Dad were thinking.

* Palestinia delenda est!.

* Force=mass*acceleration: It's not just a good idea, it's the law.

* You people are actors - act like you have two brain cells to rub together.

* Disproportionate force is a government's way of saying "I care."

* Liberals are a prey species.

* "I live in Michigan, but even if I lived in Kuala Lumpur I'd still think you were an idiot."

* "I heff good news and bad news. Good news is I saw Allah. Bad news is he was wearing a yarmulke."

* "The Internet, where men are men, women are men, and little girls are FBI agents..." --Unknown

* "Nothing goes together like spliffs and uzis." --Physicist

Photospoofs and Songs
If you see these posted elsewhere on the Web, please freepmail me. I need all the egoboo I can get!

1/15/06
1/12/06
6/26/05
1/11/05
12/10/04
Landfill
(To the tune of "Landslide," by Stevie Nicks; parody lyrics by Slings and Arrows)
I took my bullhorn, took it down
Helped terrorists in Gaza Town.
I saw my reflection on a bulldozer blade,
and the landfill's where I stay.
Oh, choppers in the sky,
What is dumb?
Can I play chicken with Israelis?
Can I face down heavy equipment?
Can I take sixty tons on my chest?
Well, I've been afraid of flattening,
'Cause a D-9 can hurt you.
But morons are bolder,
Flag-burning gets older,
And IHOP is calling too...
Oh, mail me home, flat rate's fine,
Fake some photos, moan and whine.
If you see my reflection in a bulldozer blade
Well the landfill's where I'll be...
If you see my reflection in a bulldozer blade
Well the landfill's where I'll be...

11/24/04
10/25/04
10/24/04
10/23/04

10/21/04
10/11/04
10/10/04
9/30/04
9/20/04
9/14/04
9/5/04
8/31/04
8/30/04
8/17/04

8/15/04
7/31/04
7/23/04
7/21/04
7/10/04
7/6/04
6/16/04
6/10/04
6/8/04
6/6/04

5/26/04
5/21/04
4/18/04
3/8/04
3/5/04
3/2/04

2/28/04
2/26/04

2/24/04
2/24/04
2/18/04
2/14/04

These were created entirely using various generators, so I didn't sign them.
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