Posted on 10/23/2008 7:11:26 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson
The Dems are getting nervous. The polls are tightening, knuckles are whitening, and the prospects are frightening! Witness this HUffPo THREAD by Sherman Yellen, "My Coming November Crackup." In spite of some polls giving Obama a sizeable lead, this old HUffie fears Rovian Republican chicanery come Election Day. Hee! Hee! So before we get to his thread, let's reinforce Sherman's fears with a song. Click and sing along!
CRY (If you see polls)
By Johnnie Ray-of-Sunshine
Tune: "Cry" (If your sweetheart) Original
If you see polls that turn out to be too high
It's just Diebold, you'll feel better if you cry
When voting on a touchscreen
Don't you sometimes think it's real
But it's only fall elections that they steal
If the FReepers seem to hang around and gloat
And the red states keep getting redder with each vote
November storm clouds can be found
Behind the sunny skies
So get your hopes down and go on and cry
If the FReepers seem to hang around and gloat
And the red states keep getting redder with each vote
Well now, November storm clouds can be found
Behind a sunny sky
So get your hopes down and go on and cry
So now let's watch Sherman Yellen gird his loins for "My Coming November Crackup," in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, still recovering from "My Cubs' October Crackup," is in the [brackets]:
My Coming November Crackup
[I have a feeling WE'RE going to crack up reading about it! Start, Yellen!]
I just spoke to my old college friend Roger.
[Emphasis on "old."]
We are older men with reasonably good nervous systems . . . yet this election has been a new high in personal fear and trembling.
[Old Yellen!
Calm down, Yellen!
Stressed, downright down and depressed. . . .]
Our cracks are beginning to show. . . .
[Joe the Plumber Disease.]
And damn it, we have become more and more fearful and superstitious. . . .
[If your cracks begin to show, be careful not to step on them.]
We both confessed to waking up real early and heading towards . . .
[. . . the bathroom. Sherman's March to the WC. Gird up your loins, Sherm!]
. . . our laptops to check on the latest results in the presidential polls before feeding the cat or making the morning coffee. . . .
[A beeline to get online before feline or caffeine-mainline.]
A ten point lead? Nothing! What's that to these Republicans, trained from birth to swallow ten points for breakfast with their orange juice and Metamucil?
[Breakfast without election fraud is like a day without sunshine!]
Do we exaggerate their power to find and kill Osama, rig the voting machines, and smear, smear, smear Barack Obama into a narrow defeat all in the course of a single day before the election? Not a bit.
[Rove, Rove, Rove your vote
When you're on the screen
Narrowly, narrowly, narrowly, narrowly
Swipe it by machine!]
We wonder why that power to destroy cannot be put in the service of building the country and working towards economic and social justice.
[If only they'd use their power for good!]
Thank you very much Tina Fey, but darling that you are, you are preaching to the converted. The real Sarah Palin doesn't get it -- nor do her rabid followers. And we fear that they see the White House in the sights of their rifles.
[We can see Rushbo from our House!]
We need a twenty point Obama lead tomorrow for us nervous guys to sleep easy.
[Does Medicare cover Ambien?]
Having seen the devious ways the Republicans operate, we find it impossible to believe that they will not once again pull some Rovian trick. . . .
[Some PERFECT Rovian Trick!]
Our mutual friend and fellow classmate Bob, a fine landscape and city scene painter, just died of melanoma in Maine. Among his last acts was sending in an absentee ballot for Obama. . . .
[Hey, as a Democrat, he may get to vote AGAIN!]
No, forget the crackup, I won't go to France or to pieces if McCain/Palin is elected. I will go . . .
[. . . feed my cat, who's probably starving by now. . . . OK, Shermy, now let's hear from your fellow HUffies . . .]
My brother told me that he actually might move to France if Obama loses.
[Is that you, Stephen Baldwin?]
We old farts just aren't as resilient as we once were.
[Back in the Farter Administration.]
The forces of light are staging a comeback.
[Obamassiah as Light-Worker.]
I clean the health food store out of their anti stress supplements. . . .
[Try the bong shop.]
I will be weeping on November 5. . . .
[Democrat Voting Day, AKA Guy Faux Election Day.]
I'm visualizing myself dressed in red white and blue on that day though, to celebrate Obama's win! I will be laughing crying. . . .
[Freudenschade, baby!]
It must be that 60's idealism. Its like a virus: just flares up once in awhile. . . .
[I think it's the herpes.]
If Obama loses this election, it will be because of massive fraud. Therefore, the country will be up in arms and heading for Washington.
[The Million Moonbat March! Sherman's March to DC!]
I wouldn't want to be riding around with a McCain Palin sticker on my car after Nov 5th if this fraud occurs, I wouldn't be safe.
[Days of Rage! Is that you, Bill Ayers?]
I will no longer accept stolen elections. LOCKED AND LOADED!
[Just go with the "loaded."]
This almost-senior woman is nervous, too. . . . I voted early. I spent about 7 minutes on the oval next to Obama-Biden to be absolutely sure that I had filled it in completely and stayed within the lines. Before I did that, I read the instructions 4 times, checked three times to be sure the ball point pen was a black ink pen, and lined the table with paper so as not to get last night's dinner on the ballot. When I was done with the ballot, I checked it three times. I hand carried it to the county clerk's where 3 officials were handling early voting, turned it in, hung around to see where the clerk put it, and then paced around a little bit in the lobby before deciding it was probably okay to leave my ballot in their hands.
[OCD much? You still probably ended up voting for Buchanan.]
At least I know my vote will be counted. Well, I am pretty sure. . .
[Heh heh heh. . . .]
I'm leaning Italian in a hurry.
[Ciao! Arrividerci!]
I share your fear of what the dark Rovian forces might be willing to do. . . .
[Fear the Rove.]
The corporate media has found a cash cow by framing this election as a "horse race". . . .
[Congratulations! You win the Mixed Metaphor of the Day Award!]
Let's just hope that we - as Americans, don't rest on our laurel and . . .
[Hardy.]
Hurry Nov. 4th, so that we can return to our regular routines!
[Our regular routine of doing what we're doing now: Whining on the Internet.]
This is why everybody should vote. The turnout should be 100%. . . .
[130% in some precincts.]
until the election is called Nov. 4th, I will be white knuckling it.
[Typical white knucklehead.]
I can't vote but I can say to all my fellow bloggers, I am chuffed by your passion. . . .
["Chuffed" gives you away. And so DUFU News is now projecting that Barack Obama will CARRY Great Britain!]
I too, cannot function normally anymore. . . . I really am not well.
[Situation Normal: All Functioned Up.]
Has anyone started a pool on the time/day when the election will be called for McCain? Tiebreaker will be when the first match is lit in the riots to follow.
Will be MUCH worse than my current October crackup.
Brewed strong & fresh and served straight up every day in our household. No holding back here...
...with the exception of that big, bulbous part at the top.
Nancy sez, "Try my guy."
Hell, even candidates don’t have to be alive for Democrats to vote for them.
Your gift of metaphor is nothing short of Pynchon's.
Your gift of mixing is nothing short of Betty Crocker's.
I know the dim leaders are projecting but I really think that ‘regular guy’ democrats believe that their leaders are blameless and Republicans are evil.
But you still smell as bad.
I live in a Republican area and the Democrats I know aren’t that way. Maybe it’s the fact that Republicans dominate that causes it, but who knows?
In any event, they provide a friendly, non-confrontational face. I have no idea what they say behind one’s back. But I have my doubts about it being anything different. But there are those few...
The Maine ACORN chapter registered Bob Ross.
Your ammo magazine is missing. You may be locked, but you ain’t loaded.
Cue up the "that's racist" kid...
Liberals are all nervous system, no spine.
This shows how deluded these people are. That they cannot grasp that the media LOVE their guy is truly bizarre, though it's getting to be the norm among democrats.
A lot of liberals are [insert synonym for ‘cats’].
DUmmie ALERT!
This is too good to pass up, and as I’m working from a crippled computer at the moment, I can’t do all the usual DUmmie ALERT! decoration.
Anyway, this (link on next comment) is good; this is great.
USA4ME
« Reply #9 on: Today at 11:28:38 am »
My wife got an e-mail from someone who went to a restaurant and the waiter had on a Dem nominee Il Duce tie. This person commented on the tie, mentioned that Il Duce wants to “spread the wealth,” so instead of giving the waiter the tip they were going to give it to a homeless person that was outside the restaurant. Said the waiter got all upset, said that he had earned the tip, etc,... It didn’t work. The person went outside and gave the bum the tip, who was very happy to receive money he didn’t work for.
(Still chuckling over Rove Your Vote)
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