Posted on 10/23/2008 7:11:26 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson
The Dems are getting nervous. The polls are tightening, knuckles are whitening, and the prospects are frightening! Witness this HUffPo THREAD by Sherman Yellen, "My Coming November Crackup." In spite of some polls giving Obama a sizeable lead, this old HUffie fears Rovian Republican chicanery come Election Day. Hee! Hee! So before we get to his thread, let's reinforce Sherman's fears with a song. Click and sing along!
CRY (If you see polls)
By Johnnie Ray-of-Sunshine
Tune: "Cry" (If your sweetheart) Original
If you see polls that turn out to be too high
It's just Diebold, you'll feel better if you cry
When voting on a touchscreen
Don't you sometimes think it's real
But it's only fall elections that they steal
If the FReepers seem to hang around and gloat
And the red states keep getting redder with each vote
November storm clouds can be found
Behind the sunny skies
So get your hopes down and go on and cry
If the FReepers seem to hang around and gloat
And the red states keep getting redder with each vote
Well now, November storm clouds can be found
Behind a sunny sky
So get your hopes down and go on and cry
So now let's watch Sherman Yellen gird his loins for "My Coming November Crackup," in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, still recovering from "My Cubs' October Crackup," is in the [brackets]:
My Coming November Crackup
[I have a feeling WE'RE going to crack up reading about it! Start, Yellen!]
I just spoke to my old college friend Roger.
[Emphasis on "old."]
We are older men with reasonably good nervous systems . . . yet this election has been a new high in personal fear and trembling.
[Old Yellen!
Calm down, Yellen!
Stressed, downright down and depressed. . . .]
Our cracks are beginning to show. . . .
[Joe the Plumber Disease.]
And damn it, we have become more and more fearful and superstitious. . . .
[If your cracks begin to show, be careful not to step on them.]
We both confessed to waking up real early and heading towards . . .
[. . . the bathroom. Sherman's March to the WC. Gird up your loins, Sherm!]
. . . our laptops to check on the latest results in the presidential polls before feeding the cat or making the morning coffee. . . .
[A beeline to get online before feline or caffeine-mainline.]
A ten point lead? Nothing! What's that to these Republicans, trained from birth to swallow ten points for breakfast with their orange juice and Metamucil?
[Breakfast without election fraud is like a day without sunshine!]
Do we exaggerate their power to find and kill Osama, rig the voting machines, and smear, smear, smear Barack Obama into a narrow defeat all in the course of a single day before the election? Not a bit.
[Rove, Rove, Rove your vote
When you're on the screen
Narrowly, narrowly, narrowly, narrowly
Swipe it by machine!]
We wonder why that power to destroy cannot be put in the service of building the country and working towards economic and social justice.
[If only they'd use their power for good!]
Thank you very much Tina Fey, but darling that you are, you are preaching to the converted. The real Sarah Palin doesn't get it -- nor do her rabid followers. And we fear that they see the White House in the sights of their rifles.
[We can see Rushbo from our House!]
We need a twenty point Obama lead tomorrow for us nervous guys to sleep easy.
[Does Medicare cover Ambien?]
Having seen the devious ways the Republicans operate, we find it impossible to believe that they will not once again pull some Rovian trick. . . .
[Some PERFECT Rovian Trick!]
Our mutual friend and fellow classmate Bob, a fine landscape and city scene painter, just died of melanoma in Maine. Among his last acts was sending in an absentee ballot for Obama. . . .
[Hey, as a Democrat, he may get to vote AGAIN!]
No, forget the crackup, I won't go to France or to pieces if McCain/Palin is elected. I will go . . .
[. . . feed my cat, who's probably starving by now. . . . OK, Shermy, now let's hear from your fellow HUffies . . .]
My brother told me that he actually might move to France if Obama loses.
[Is that you, Stephen Baldwin?]
We old farts just aren't as resilient as we once were.
[Back in the Farter Administration.]
The forces of light are staging a comeback.
[Obamassiah as Light-Worker.]
I clean the health food store out of their anti stress supplements. . . .
[Try the bong shop.]
I will be weeping on November 5. . . .
[Democrat Voting Day, AKA Guy Faux Election Day.]
I'm visualizing myself dressed in red white and blue on that day though, to celebrate Obama's win! I will be laughing crying. . . .
[Freudenschade, baby!]
It must be that 60's idealism. Its like a virus: just flares up once in awhile. . . .
[I think it's the herpes.]
If Obama loses this election, it will be because of massive fraud. Therefore, the country will be up in arms and heading for Washington.
[The Million Moonbat March! Sherman's March to DC!]
I wouldn't want to be riding around with a McCain Palin sticker on my car after Nov 5th if this fraud occurs, I wouldn't be safe.
[Days of Rage! Is that you, Bill Ayers?]
I will no longer accept stolen elections. LOCKED AND LOADED!
[Just go with the "loaded."]
This almost-senior woman is nervous, too. . . . I voted early. I spent about 7 minutes on the oval next to Obama-Biden to be absolutely sure that I had filled it in completely and stayed within the lines. Before I did that, I read the instructions 4 times, checked three times to be sure the ball point pen was a black ink pen, and lined the table with paper so as not to get last night's dinner on the ballot. When I was done with the ballot, I checked it three times. I hand carried it to the county clerk's where 3 officials were handling early voting, turned it in, hung around to see where the clerk put it, and then paced around a little bit in the lobby before deciding it was probably okay to leave my ballot in their hands.
[OCD much? You still probably ended up voting for Buchanan.]
At least I know my vote will be counted. Well, I am pretty sure. . .
[Heh heh heh. . . .]
I'm leaning Italian in a hurry.
[Ciao! Arrividerci!]
I share your fear of what the dark Rovian forces might be willing to do. . . .
[Fear the Rove.]
The corporate media has found a cash cow by framing this election as a "horse race". . . .
[Congratulations! You win the Mixed Metaphor of the Day Award!]
Let's just hope that we - as Americans, don't rest on our laurel and . . .
[Hardy.]
Hurry Nov. 4th, so that we can return to our regular routines!
[Our regular routine of doing what we're doing now: Whining on the Internet.]
This is why everybody should vote. The turnout should be 100%. . . .
[130% in some precincts.]
until the election is called Nov. 4th, I will be white knuckling it.
[Typical white knucklehead.]
I can't vote but I can say to all my fellow bloggers, I am chuffed by your passion. . . .
["Chuffed" gives you away. And so DUFU News is now projecting that Barack Obama will CARRY Great Britain!]
I too, cannot function normally anymore. . . . I really am not well.
[Situation Normal: All Functioned Up.]
At today’s Kiwanis Golden K breakfast our speaker was a well-known retired physician/surgeon in town who spoke on the two health care plans being promoted by the candidates. He was clearly in favor of McCain’s plan although expressing concerns with both (like, how do we pay for either?).
On the way out after the meeting one of our known liberal members said as I passed him “Well, it’s obvious what’s needed for healthcare is more regulation”. I didn’t respond. That was in no way the conclusion made by the speaker, nor the general conclusion of the members based on questions afterward.
Some people simply don’t (or won’t) listen...
Very good suggestion!
Yes, and they will remember it if their parents let anything as piddly as an election result disrupt their mental equilibrium and above all their *faith*. NOTHING can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ, unless we choose to abandon our faith and be tossed about by the world.
My children enjoy the election season. We’ve been working for local candidates for several years, and they have fun meeting people at the polls and participating in the process. However, if any of us found it upsetting, we wouldn’t do it. At the end of the day, we say, “It was nice meeting you; have a good evening!” to the Democrat campaign workers, and get back to our Real Life.
[Rove, Rove, Rove your vote
When you’re on the screen
Narrowly, narrowly, narrowly, narrowly
Swipe it by machine!]
Very very good!
Except this DUFU is by our resident Lutheran pastor, Charles Henrickson. PJ’s great, as is Paul, but let’s give Charles his due here.
Yes I know, I wrote before I read who did it this time. I’ve given Charles his ~kudos~. YOU THA MAN CHARLES!! They are all hysterical, and could make a pretty penny if they went GLOBAL!! lol..I do so enjoy these guys.
Hard to see a country voting for Sarkozy and Obama in the space of two years. France is McCain country, by a small margin. :-)
Limbaugh just mentioned that, because he was reading a story about a woman who died in NC on 8 October and filled out an absentee ballot right before she died. In most states, nd absentee ballot only counts if the voter is eleigible to vote as of Election Day.
Ain't that the truth! For us Lutherans from the northern climes, coffee is well nigh unto a sacrament.
These Huffposters bemoan all their perceived vote fraud perpetrated by Pubs yet nowhere do I see a mention of ACORN.
Every Sunday morning early, you would find Anglicans and Catholics and the occasional Baptist from around the corner happily drinking coffee in the basement of the Lutheran church. When I asked my dad why he went over there, he replied “They have better coffee and more of it”.
Legend had it that near Christmas the Methodists from two blocks away baked brownies as a “Christmas gift” just to get at the coffee.
Yeah, right!
LOCKED in your mama's basement, LOADED out of your marginally functioning mind....
I wouldn't want to be the fool to mess with my truck with a McCain/Palin sticker on it.
Wouldn't be safe....
LOL! Great coffe mugs!
I'll see your "locked and loaded", and raise you a real locked and loaded.
Oh, we get it. And "it" says more about Tina Fey and the DUmmies than it does about Sarah.
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