Man Writes Down Hilarious Things Girlfriend Says While Talking in Her Sleep

Good Morning America via Yahoo! ^ | NICOLE PELLETIERE

[9thLife]

Reddit user Soggybrick said he finds it quite funny when he hears his girlfriend Samantha talking in her sleep. So funny, in fact, that he's decided to share some of her most notable lines on the Web.

"She just talks sometimes while I'm on the computer late at night," he told ABC News. "So I take notes of them whenever they're absurd or hilarious."

Soggybrick, who's actually a man named James living in New Zealand, wrote down and published some of his favorite lines on Reddit, which include the following:

I want the little clay things that are spread all around.

I can't do anything right now, I'm in the middle of cups.

We can't make the other one, we don't have the bigger machine.

Some random person is testing me.

I need more feet.

You're not worthy of my trust.

I feel like I have keyboards stuck to me.

How much left until the map is finished?

I can't remember why you were going to swap the apples.

Give me the flavorful items.

I can't fall asleep I'll get in trouble. Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed.

The Parmesan doesn't go like that.

[yarddog]

Around 20 years ago I dreamed I was in a field and there were bunches of peanut hay burning. The smoke was bothering my breathing.

I awoke and realized I had not been breathing for some time. For maybe 30-40 seconds I could not catch my breath no matter how hard I breathed. I finally did but it disturbed me to an extreme degree.

I told my Dr. about it and he told me if it happened again I would need to go to a hospital and have a lot of tests done. Fortunately it never did recur.

[A_Former_Democrat]

I hear the secrets that you keep . . .when you’re talking in your sleep

[Salamander]

LOL

[Salamander]

I do not talk or snore.

If you try to talk me while I’m asleep, I will bolt up, wide awake, wanting to know *why* you were doing that.

And for the love of God, do *not* touch me to wake me.

:D

[cripplecreek]

I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie,
And that I was the star of the movie.
This really blew my mind,
The fact that me, an overfed, long-haired, leaping gnome,
Should be the star of a Hollywood movie...
But there I was....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3i0DMbCKnAg

[lee martell]

Did you sleep-sing it as loud as Tennessee Ernie Ford?
He could have called the Hogs in with that bellowing voice.

[lee martell]

Got Ambien?

[yarddog]

Probably not tho I did like the song.

My late wife once taped me snoring. She had never even told me that I did. Actually I must not have done so very much or she would have.

[CyberAnt]

That would be my first suspicion.

Never have to take that stuff .. Bible says God has provided me with peace and perfect sleep.

I just dare to believe it .. and I sleep like a log.

[Mygirlsmom]

MGD always says, “How many?” To which I reply, “How many would you like?”

[ansel12]

America has changed, it wasn’t so long ago that morning TV would not have run a light hearted story of the things from people who aren’t married, record while sleeping together.

[4rcane]

his girlfriend could be a gamer esp “How much left until the map is finished?”

[Zeneta]

I hear the secrets that you keep . . .when you’re talking in your sleep

---

You must be a Romantic?

[thesligoduffyflynns]

“This book (by Lark Voorhies) makes Ulysses look a Tyler Perry screen play. You want commas? this book has more commas than words”........

Don’t forget to pick up a copy as you exit the building......

http://www.amazon.com/True-Light-tenuation-authenticate-revelation/dp/1450243541

[FredZarguna]

Fortunately it never did recur.

The peanut hay thing, or the not breathing?

[FredZarguna]

Strange beautiful, grass of green
with your majestic silver seas
Your mysterious mountains I wish to see closer
May I land my kinky machine?

Although your world wonders me,
with your majestic and superior cackling hen
Your people I do not understand,
so to you I shall put an end
And you'll
never hear
surf music again
Secret
Oh, secret
Oh
Shhh

[OldSmaj]

My wife is deaf and signs in her sleep. Unfortunately it’s dark and I can’t make out most of what she’s saying. :-)

I have no idea why it would...but that gave me the best laugh out loud I've had in a few days.

Thanks...I think.

[Darren McCarty]

His new bed will be in the doghouse.

[yarddog]

The not breathing never recurred.

I think I actually must have stopped and then my subconscious mind was trying to figure out why. The answer was smoke was choking me. I must have been not breathing for a pretty long period.

I used to try to time myself when I was around 18, as to how long I could hold my breath. I eventually got to around 3 minutes but when I began to breathe again, I recovered immediately.

After I awoke, I began to suck in air as fast as I possibly could. It took a pretty long period, and I was in panic the whole time, before I began to catch my breath.

That is my guess.

[FrdmLvr]

I had a friend in college who was a sleepwalker and sleep talker. She also hated her bathrobe for some reason, and one night when I didn’t want to walk home I crashed at her dorm. In the middle of the night, she suddenly got up, grabbed her robe, started wadding it up saying “I HATE this thing! I’m going to burn it!” and she walked out of the room, down the hall and tried to throw it in the incinerator. Her roommate and I chased after her and got her back in the room. She was completely asleep the whole time and didn’t remember a thing. Her roommate always told everyone she was a sleep talker and sleepwalker.