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Articles Posted by rexthecat

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  • How Drone Combat in Ukraine is Changing Warfare

    04/24/2024 1:06:50 PM PDT · by rexthecat · 9 replies
    Reuters ^ | March 25, 2024 | Mariano Zafra, Max Hunder, Anurag Rao and Sudev Kiyada
    Reuters analyzed more than 50 videos of drone attacks, collated research and spoke to over a dozen manufacturers, soldiers and officials about how the technology is transforming warfare.
  • Democratic Senator Ben Ray Lujan Suffers Stroke, Has Surgery

    02/01/2022 2:35:24 PM PST · by rexthecat · 110 replies
    Daily Caller ^ | February 1, 2022 | Michael Ginsberg
    Democratic New Mexico Sen. Ben Ray Lujan was hospitalized on Thursday, Jan. 27 due to a stroke, a top aide announced.
  • Clint Eastwood Takes Aim at the FBI and the Media in ‘Richard Jewell’ Trailer (Video)

    10/03/2019 11:40:21 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 27 replies
    The Wrap ^ | October 3, 2019 | Thom Geier
    Clint Eastwood points a stern finger at FBI investigators and the media in the first trailer for his new fact-based drama “Richard Jewell,” which explores the security guard who reported finding an explosive device at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics — and then was falsely accused of planting it himself.
  • BREAKING! No More Nixons! House Passes Friends of Dems Bill! (Satire!!)

    06/14/2019 11:58:37 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 1 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | June 14, 2019 | Editorial Board
    As a largely symbolic gesture, the House of Representatives passed HRC-187 late Thursday, mostly along party lines (243-191), with seven Republicans voting with the Democrats. The controversial bill stipulates that only a Republican presidential candidate that Democrats like can become President of the United States.
  • Exclusive! Buddy Hackett Estate Sues Jerry Nadler Over Bastard Son Claims! (Satire)

    03/10/2019 4:32:33 PM PDT · by rexthecat · 15 replies
    VERY ERSATZ NEWS ^ | March 10, 2019 | Editorial Board
    Disgraced Congressman and Carvel Ice-Cream Cake mogul Jerry Nadler is being sued in the Civil Court of the City of New York for $25,000,000.00 by the family of deceased funny man Buddy Hackett, after Mr Nadler repeatably violated a cease and desist order preventing him from claiming — as he did recently on the Today Show — that he is the late comedian’s love child, and was conceived during an alleged drunken tryst in the lobby of the Sir Francis Drake hotel in San Fransisco in 1962 while Mr Hackett and then housewife Phyllis Diller were celebrating the opening of...
  • My Funny Valentine — Out of the Closet With Cory Booker (Satire!)

    10/25/2018 11:01:33 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 2 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | October 25, 2018 | Chuck Tatum
    VEN (WASHINGTON) — VEN‘s Senior Washington Correspondent Chuck Tatum caught up with beleaguered Senator Corey Booker (D-NJ) Wednesday, outside his campaign headquarters at the Gender-Neutral mens room in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. What follows is Part One of Tatum's on-the-fly interview:
  • BREAKING — Jackie Gleason To Be Removed From The Honeymooners! (Satire)

    10/18/2018 2:52:36 PM PDT · by rexthecat · 32 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | October 18, 2018 | Editorial Board
    VEN (HOLLYWOOD) — Chanting Fat Man Bad and Justice For Alice, scores of angry Social Justice Warriors — many dressed as vaginas, diaphragms, and ligatured fallopian tubes — marched through West Hollywood Wednesday calling for an end to male cis-gendered institutionalized comedic violence against women.
  • Senator Proudly Cites DNA Test to Prove He’s Nearly 1 Percent Veteran (Satire!!)

    10/17/2018 10:21:20 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 11 replies
    The Duffel Blog ^ | October 17, 2018 | The Leg Ranger
    BOSTON — Massachusetts Democratic Sen. Dickard Rosenthal has released the results of genetic testing to add legitimacy to his claim that he is “basically a veteran” and “should be treated as such”. The DNA test shows that he has a distant grandparent that may have possibly fought in the Thirty Years War, the French Revolution, or was a member of a Mongol horde terrorizing eastern Europe in the 13th century, Rosenthal said in a press release and a subsequent CNN-sponsored town hall event.
  • Stop Brett Kavanaugh Before He Drinks Again! (Satire)

    10/03/2018 10:04:32 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 5 replies
    Very Ersatz News (VEN) ^ | October 3, 2018 | Hildy Johnson
    VEN Senior Washington Correspondent Hildy Johnson reports on the third full day of testimony on September 27 from Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, as he is asked to address allegations that he felt up fear-of-flying, claustrophobic Dr Blasey Ford at a party she vaguely remembers at a place and date she can’t recall and whose three fact witnesses proved to be exculpatory.
  • Diabolus Fecit, Ut Id Facerem — Pope to Beatify Flip Wilson? )Satire!)

    09/13/2018 9:59:43 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 6 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | September 12, 2018 | Very Ersatz News
    VEN (ROME) — In what many Catholic Faithful are calling a shocking development, the official Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano reported Wednesday that Pope Francis — besieged by the yet another inconvenient world-wide pedophile priest scandal involving Cardinals and Bishops and thousands of victims — is planning to beatify Clerow “Flip” Wilson in the first step towards what is expected to be the late comedian’s eventual canonization.
  • Stop Brett Kavanaugh Before He Kills Again! Day Two Of The SCOTUS Confirmation Hearings (Satire!)

    09/06/2018 8:20:57 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 1 replies
    Very Ersatz News (VEN) ^ | September 6, 2018 | Hildy Johnson
    VEN Senior Washington Correspondent Hildy Johnson reports on the first full day of testimony from Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.
  • Radix Malorum Plasticus Est! (Satire!)

    09/03/2018 11:20:11 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 2 replies
    Very Ersatz News (VEN) ^ | September 3, 2018 | Editorial Board
    Amidst growing accusations that Pope Francis ignored and may have even helped cover up sexual misconduct by the clergy, a defiant Francis issued a proclamation Sunday banning plastic straws and cups from the Vatican Commissary “in an effort to allow little boys in emerging nations all over the world to swim in clean plastic-free oceans without the necessity of bathing suits, which — as we all know — are hateful to God.”
  • Is Adam Schiff’s “Barney Fife Problem” A Threat To National Security? (Satire)

    08/19/2018 8:08:05 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 2 replies
    Very Ersatz News (VEN) ^ | August 19, 2018 | Alex Reiger
    VEN‘s Senior Political Correspondent Alex Reiger caught up with embattled Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA) as he was being discharged from the exclusive New Beginnings ultra-fabulous rehabilitation facility in Malibu Friday, for this exclusive "Man in the Street" interview.
  • Another Exclusive Interview With Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez! (Satire)

    08/14/2018 9:18:29 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 4 replies
    Very Ersatz news (VEN) ^ | August 14, 2018 | Editorial Board
    VEN (NEW YORK) — VEN‘s Senior Political Correspondent Jorge Burns ran into Democratic-Socialist rising star Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez at her favorite Starbucks in Rye Brook Monday for this VEN exclusive interview:
  • Ocasio-Cortez Wins Coveted Casey Stengel Award! (Satire)

    08/13/2018 7:54:56 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 8 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | August 13, 2018 | Editorial Board
    VEN (NEW YORK) — “I am like SO HONORED!” an uncharacteristically speechless, self-proclaimed Democratic-Socialist Alexandra Octavio-Cortez told reporters, after accepting The Casey Stengel Award For Public Speaking Excellence at the El Club Cubano Interamericanol in the Bronx Sunday. “You have no idea how special this is to me! Dios Mio! Such a great man! My grandfather used to quote him to me when I was a little girl! And I have a recording of his testimony to the Asamblea Legislativa!
  • Veterans' Diseases Associated with Agent Orange

    07/30/2018 12:30:37 PM PDT · by rexthecat · 17 replies
    Vanity ^ | June 30, 2018 | Self
    Reminder all Vietnam vets! The Veterans Administration has a list of illnesses that they presume were caused by Agent Orange exposure. If you have Type II Diabetes, Parkinson's or any of the other ailments listed you do not have to prove anything. You just need to show you served in Vietnam. This includes many vets who served in the Navy in waters off of Vietnam. You may be eligible for $$ disability payments and medical care if you want it.
  • SPLC/ACLU Declare Cleveland Indians Hate Group.(Satire)

    07/29/2018 8:41:46 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 7 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | July 29, 2018 | Editorial Board
    In a surprise move Friday the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) joined with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) in denouncing the American League Cleveland Indians baseball franchise as a “racist, white supremacist hate group” for allowing its mascot, Chief Wahoo, “to brazenly mock, satirize, and defame” Democratic-Socialist Congressional Candidate Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez.
  • Fauxcahontas Fights Back!! (Satire)

    07/25/2018 10:27:30 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 8 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | July 25, 2018 | Editorial Board
    Cheered on by angry chants of RESIST! RESIST! from a small angry crowd of zaftig purpled-haired very angry women dressed like outraged, very angry vaginas, an equally angry, unmedicated Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) told reporters Monday that she is “sick and tired” of “Traitor Trump” questioning her self-documented Native-American heritage and degrading proud, noble native Americans who — like her ancestors — were forced onto government reservations “by cis-heterosexual white supremacist males, just like that traitorous, orange-faced, fascist baboon in the White House.”
  • Is Adam Schiff’s Ibogaine Addiction A Threat To National Security? (Satire)

    07/24/2018 1:02:34 PM PDT · by rexthecat · 12 replies
    Very Ersatz News (VEN) ^ | July 22, 2018 | Editorial Board
    VEN (WASHINGTON) — While the country reels from one potentially catastrophic world-ending Trump-created crisis after another, researchers at Stanford University School of Medicine are voicing serious concerns about one of the President’s chief critics, Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA), and the congressman’s purported abuse of the rare psychoactive substance known as Ibogaine, found in the root bark of the Iboga tree in Central Africa.
  • Ninth Circuit Panel: Yes, the Constitution Protects the Right to Open Carry

    07/24/2018 11:31:54 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 32 replies
    National Review ^ | July 24, 2018 | Charles C.W. Cooke
    A federal appeals court ruled on Tuesday that the U.S. Constitution’s Second Amendment protects a right to openly carry a gun in public for self-defense, rejecting a claim by Hawaii officials that the right only applies to guns kept at home.