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Questions about "returning" to Catholicism (Input requested)
August 6, 2003 | self

Posted on 08/06/2003 7:48:14 PM PDT by visualops

A brief history to put my questions in context. My parents are Catholic, I was baptized Catholic. In my mid-20's I met and married a Greek Orthodox man. In the process, I converted to Greek Orthodox(old calendar), so we could have a religious wedding (otherwise there would have been no wedding believe me). Anyway fast-forward 10 years later and we got divorced. He obtained a religious divorce as well so he could remarry, which he eventually did. I have also since remarried (a non-Catholic in a civil ceremony only). Now what I'm wanting to know is where I now stand in regards the Catholic Church. Obviouslly I realize going to the local diocese etc etc may/will be in order. I tried googling around but didn't find anything pertaining to my particular situation. I feel as if I don't formally belong anywhere at the moment, and that bothers me on many levels.


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To: Flying Circus
Actually I am simply asking questions at this point.
My husband isn't Catholic and I am not asking nor expect him to convert, so the abstinence issue is moot.
He has alot of personal strength which I rely on quite often.
61 posted on 08/07/2003 4:22:40 PM PDT by visualops (Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.)
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To: visualops
you could contact the Archdioses of North America. They would probably have it on record. This would eliminate the need to contact any church. Either way, no problem. Good luck.
62 posted on 08/07/2003 4:44:51 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (Vote!)
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To: visualops; TheStickman
It is good that you ask and seek, may God help and guide both of you and His grace make you holy. I hope you can be a strength and a help to each other for the rest of your lives.
63 posted on 08/07/2003 4:52:40 PM PDT by Flying Circus (orthodoxy requires orthopraxy)
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To: visualops
I certainly did intend to be married, for the rest of my life. I take that commitment very seriously. He was verbally and mentally abusive in addition to monumentally stupid and self-destructive (taking us down with him). I would have put up with just about anything if I felt the kids would be fine. When I saw that wasn't the case then I went for divorce. I'm happy to say my second marriage is the opposite and we fully intend to grow old and decrepit and fade into the sunset together. (BTW hubby #2 is an occasional FReeper too so he gets some extra points there too lol)

I didn't mean you were uncommitted to your vows, or that you weren't completely prepared to give everything to your first husband, if that had been possible. I just meant that as a Catholic, on some level, you prevented yourself from entering into a valid sacrament of marriage with him because, on some level, you might have known it wasn't meant to last. Now it sounds like you've got a wonderful husband, and that it is meant to last. I'm happy for you. As a divorced (but not yet remarried) guy, I always like hearing about successful second marriages. And I'm glad you're looking into getting things squared away with the Church.

64 posted on 08/07/2003 5:41:59 PM PDT by possum
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To: PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain
I realize you intended to stay married, I was not laughing at you or your situation. Just the way some of the catholics here were finding loop holes in the catholic doctrine. It struck me funny in a sad sad way.

Have you ever attended/studied any religions besides catholic?

I don't see how it's a loophole. If a devout member of your church got a civil marriage (before a Justice of the Peace, say), and refused to stand up at the altar together, wouldn't you question their intent?

65 posted on 08/07/2003 5:59:42 PM PDT by possum
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To: visualops
I truly believe we were destined to be together, and "heal" each other, so-to-speak.

Which is why you prevented yourself from entering a sacramental marriage with H#1. Good call!

Regarding previous marriages and annulments etc- my thoughts are/were, if the Catholic Church recognized my first marriage, they would also recognize the religious divorce that was granted (or at least taking care of that would probably be just formalities). And, if they didn't recognize it, then there was no marriage to annul. Either way, marriage #1 is irrelevant. What is relevant is the conversion to Orthodox, and of course my current civil marriage. I don't see anything changing regarding my current marriage, so that leaves the conversion.

You have this kind of backwards, no offense. If the Church recognized your previous marriage as valid, no "religious divorce" conducted by a schismatic sect would reverse it. As far as the Church is concerned, you're married or you're not. It sounds like you weren't, but nobody can be sure until the Church grants an annulment (which is a statement declaring a marriage invalid -- I know annulments for lack of form are not the gut-wrenching procedures most people think of when they think of annulments, but they are annulments just the same). In your case, it's probably a mere formality, like I said.

I think all the conversion to Orthodox means is that you have probably missed Mass on lots of Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation, if a Mass was available where you lived and you deliberatly went elsewhere for the Sacraments. You may want to get reconfirmed in the Church, but regularization of your marriage shouldn't have to wait for that.

As for your current civil marriage, you need to get your first marriage annulled, and talk to a priest about how to get your current marriage regularized. Hope you get a good priest. God bless, and best of luck.

66 posted on 08/07/2003 6:35:40 PM PDT by possum
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