Posted on 03/14/2021 9:14:07 AM PDT by .30Carbine
In the fall of my 29th year I was married to my second husband. He was a mechanic at a local car dealership, which was handy because I worked as a part-time rural mail carrier and my 2 vehicles often needed repairs. I also worked nights at two different jobs; one was at the neighborhood country store, and one was as a bartender at a mid-range restaurant, known for its beer selection, in the same town where my husband worked.
The restaurant policy was to give the workers a free shift drink at the end of the night. One night my husband came back into town to have a drink with me there, and then we went out to a couple of other bars. By the end of the evening we were pretty toasted, and we landed in the seediest dive around, a pool joint, at closing time.
My husband had a tendency to change personality when he drank. The drunker he got, the meaner he became. We had been married about 4 years; I had noticed his rages accelerating, but he had never hit me.
At last call I turned from the pool table where a couple of other guys were talking to me, to look for my husband bent over his beer on a bar stool. He wasn't there. His jacket was gone, too. I asked the bartender if he knew where my husband had gone.
"He went to get the car, I guess," he said. Well, I knew that could not be the case, as both of us had cars parked very nearby, being that this bar was across the street from where my job was. I started to feel a little nervous then. I got my things and headed out to the parking lot. It was somewhere between 2 and 3am.
My husband's vehicle was nowhere in sight, but as I unlocked my car, got in, and started it up, I heard the squeal of tires coming around the corner onto Main Street. It was him, and I knew I was in for an argument, probably about the two guys I had been talking to at the pool table. I headed out onto Main Street and turned left toward home. My husband pulled right up onto my bumper. We never should have been behind the wheel at all, and it was (in hindsight) a miracle that we both survived the trip home.
The fight started in the driveway. Our neighbor's house about a hundred yards away was dark and quiet. My husband followed me into the house where the screaming and finger pointing continued. I argued back, protesting my innocence. It only enraged him more. I was afraid that this time he was going to hit me. I thought for sure if he started hitting me, in the condition he was in, he would never stop.
My dad, it suddenly occurred to me, would be up, watching the Turner Black and White Movie Channel about then. I often called him before I went to work at the P.O. early in the morning. I staggered over to the phone, which in those days was hanging on the wall (this was way before cell phones).
I was barely able to make out the numbers on the dial I was so drunk. My husband continued to scream in my face. He suddenly reached out and ripped the entire phone off the wall! He threw it across the room. It jangled and burst into pieces. I was in absolute terror for my life.
My dad had raised me to know how to shoot. Both my husband and I had guns hanging on a rack in the living room, with the ammo stored separately but nearby. I went for my .30 carbine and its clip, which had 10 rounds in it. I was so drunk that I could not line up the clip with the well of the magazine to load the gun. While I was struggling with it, my husband tore it out of my hands.
I turned and ran for the front door as fast as I could. I made it off the deck and down the seven steps before I fell, landing on my hands and knees in the dew-covered grass in the front yard. I was crying and screaming. My husband followed me out and walked down the steps. I heard his work boots on every wooden plank. I heard him load the gun and chamber a round.
"Daddy! Daddy!" I screamed. "Save me! Make him stop! Daddy! Make it all go away! Daddy! Save me!" The only excuse I have for crying out for my dad was my drunkenness. I never called my dad "Daddy."
My husband did stop! He turned around and walked back into the house! I got up and stumbled to my car. I thought I would lock myself in and sleep until daylight, but the keys were in it. I never leave my keys in my car, but to my surprise there they were! I drove away, just a couple of miles, to a pull-off near a brook deep in the woods on a private, dead-end road. I rolled up the windows, locked the doors, shut the engine off, and went to sleep.
It was so cold when I woke up. I drove back to the house. My husband met me in the driveway. He had his uniform on and was going to work. The sun was shining; that seemed so incongruous.
"I will be back this weekend for my things," he said through the little crack I made in the window. When he drove away I got out of the car and went inside.
Over the rest of that week I felt something like a cancer growing in my guts. This was my second marriage, and certainly not the second of my relationships. They had all failed. I was a failure. I could not do life. I had nothing else to try after years of sex, drugs, alcohol, and myriads of other habits and distractions to try to cope with this world. I wanted to die. The feeling just kept growing as I got up each day and went about my business on autopilot – going to work at night or to the P.O. in the daytime if I was scheduled. I was scheduled that Saturday. When I got home his things were gone.
I sat on the rug in the middle of the living room as the sun was setting. I had a revolver in my hand. I was picturing how to hold it: To the side of my head, I decided. But just before I raised the gun I had a vision. I saw a vast dark space full of nothing but smoldering heat. I was the only soul there. It was the kind of darkness that presses against your eyeballs, and the kind of heat that makes the air difficult to breathe. I knew it was hell. I knew that if I pulled the trigger I would go there, that I deserved to go there.
I did not typically think about God, or heaven, or hell. I knew there was a god "up there somewhere." Anyone looking around at creation could see that. I also had been given a minimalist Roman Catholic education when I was very young, up to First Communion. My mother had later been "saved" in the "Jesus Movement" during the 70s. She spoke in tongues. I thought it was weird.
But in this moment I spoke to God out loud for the first time ever as an adult. It was also the first time as an adult that I used the name of Jesus Christ as anything other than a curse.
"God, if you're there, I really need you. I’ve made a complete mess of things. I don't know how to make life work. I've tried everything I know to do and I am at the end. If you're there, and if you can hear me, I need you. Is it true what I've heard, that Jesus Christ died for my sins on the cross so that I could go to Heaven? If it is, I need you to take over. Please forgive me for the mess I've made. Please show me how to live."
I went so far as to make a deal with God. I found out later you are not supposed to do that, it supposedly never works, but I also discovered God’s incredible mercy.
"If you bring my husband back, I’ll know that it’s you doing it, that you have heard me. I will read the Bible, and I will tell everyone what you’ve done for me."
That was it. I stood up. I felt as if I could go on. One might even call it peace. The feeling of cancer in my stomach receded. I put the gun away.
God did bring my husband back. I did read the Bible (my husband was jealous of that, too). One day a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door. "God sent you to teach me how to read the Bible!" I told them enthusiastically. During one visit they asked me what, if any, Scriptures I knew. "I know the ten commandments," I said. They knew exactly where to turn to find that passage, Exodus 20, and I was so envious of that ability! Later that afternoon before my husband came home from work I sat on the couch and read that passage over and over again.
On the first reading I thought, 'I've kept most of these. I’m a pretty good person.' By the time I had read the ten commandments through about five times I knew I was guilty of breaking every single one of them. I sobbed, literally sobbed, for over an hour. My heart was broken. If I had not already believed at that point that Jesus died for my sins, including the sin of murder when I aborted my child, I could not have endured the conviction I felt. God was holy; I was not.
One of the customers on my mail route was a pastor. He started meeting me at the mailbox and talking to me about what I was reading in the Bible. Eventually I was baptized by him. I joined his church. I quit drinking and drugs and years later cigarettes and even coffee. I learned and grew and changed by leaps and bounds! I even became a Sunday school teacher, first for children and then for women. I have been a Christian now for 26 years. Jesus has never left me nor forsaken me, though my husband, who never understood the changes I was going through, did. I call God “Papa” in my prayers, which is very close to “Daddy.” I know Bible verses now that explain why I screamed “Daddy!” on the night my salvation began:
Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts,
the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.”
~Galatians 4:6 NIVFor you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received
the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
~Romans 8:15 NKJV
You want to love and be loved by your family, but when their agenda is to persecute Christians....
bookmark for later.
Thank you, boatbums, for these encouraging Scriptures.
Isaiah 48:10 See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.
Please post yours, too!
1. One Christmas day I was making breakfast for friends before they left our home. I made a frittata. The stove portion was done and then the oven so I had it atop the stove covered. I heard my friend’s husband ask my husband if it was done. So my husband asked me if I was sure it was done. I walked over to the stove and picked up the pan which had a metal handle about 350 degrees hot!! The stove top was glass so I had to gently set it down. I burned my hand badly. We had breakfast and they left. The ice kept the tears back. I took an aspirin and laid down as the pain was really bad. I just cried a bit. My husband came in and asked if he could get me anything. I told him the throbbing was about to make me blackout and to pray!! So, he came and sat down beside me, took my hand and prayed for my pain to cease and my hand to heal. Not 10 minutes later I had no pain! The huge blisters layers underneath the skin went away and I had no scars. My hand was tender for a couple of days and good to go!!
About a month later I was trying to prop open a window in our bedroom. We lived in an old farmhouse. Somehow the support slipped. The metal window came down atop my left hand right on my nails. The pain was instant and so bad I almost blacked out again! We elevated it and iced it and the pain and throbbing were unbelievable my ears were popping! My husband prayed for the pain to go away. This time I felt it going away in 15 seconds and by the next minute it was much better and not throbbing!!! The ice hurt and it turned black and blue. A couple of nails looked like I’d lose them and partially cracked. After about a week no pain at all and a month later you could not even tell anything happened!!! Thank you JESUS!!!
My eyesight faded one Friday and everything was fuzzy. We thought allergies so I just went to bed early. Saturday morning it got worse. I could see daylight, walls, but not read any words. It was my Sunday to teach Sunday School. I had just memorized Psalm 138 so I gave a lesson on that. After a nap, it got even worse but we had Bible Study so I just wanted to go and listen. Although we were in another book, the pastor began reading of all the healings in Matthew...interesting. My bestie sat next to me and asked how I was. I told her I’m here but going to Dr. on Monday as it has not gotten any better. While sitting there I heard her pray in the Spirit! I asked for healing. In probably five minutes I opened my eyes and my vision returned!!! I could read every word even without my readers!!! I cried tears of joy! Just amazing!!! God is good, all the time!!!
Okay...one more!! I am loving this post!!!
My husband injured his shoulder/rotator cuff. He is a DIYer. This was going on a couple weeks. He helped build a ramp and suffered all day. He’d hammer something and hurt for hours. A couple invited us to go to a seminar one Friday about 100 miles away. My husband wanted to hear this man so we went. It was at a non-denominational church. So...we had no idea that it would be a church service then the talk. So, about 30 minutes of songs, followed by prayers and around 9 pm the speaker! During prayer time they called for healings of different things. One was “there is someone whose right shoulder is to be healed tonight”. No one came so she said it again. My husband gets up and goes down to the stage!! This is NOT his nature! Two women laid hands on his shoulder- left one! They prayed for probably 5 minutes or longer. When they asked him how it was, he said, amazing, it’s 50% better! They said, we have to pray longer. After another round of prayers, they asked him to move it. I saw him making full circles!!! All pain and restriction of movement were GONE for GOOD!!! AMEN!!! He was much better to live with, haa!!!
Okay, this one is amazing too! A wonderful man in our choir had suffered from depression for many years. He longed for a happy life and happy wife! We prayed over him many times and he’d be better for awhile. At one of our healing services, he said it was bad, so we anointed him with oil and prayed for him as a group. The dark cloud of depression LIFTED!!! He knew that he knew that he knew it was lifted!! One of the ladies asked if he could stay a little longer as she had Bible verses for him. When the cloud lifted, The Holy Spirit gave him the same verses he gave this lady!!!! Even our new pastor was wide eyed!!!
He had a smile that was contagious!! So, a few weeks later he sent his profile to a dating service. A widow in our church was on the same service!! They began dating.
He fell and hit his head about a month later. It was so severe he was brought home to hospice. We prayed and his girlfriend was with him 24/7. His dogs grieved at his bedside. He reached out to pet his dog! He opened his eyes and smiled. He was wheelchair bound for months. He began to walk. He is now driving!! He is married and they are filled with JOY! He is even singing again.
His doctors said this is a total miracle as his brain was injured and he should have never talked or sat up again!!
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSING FLOW!!
Thank everyone for their testimonies. What a way to end a beautiful day. BLESSINGS ALL...
These are AMAZING testimonies of God’s mercy pouring out in answer to prayer! WOW! You remind me of the time I had an oven burn over an entire palm and before it even had a chance to blister God healed it. I’m surprised I had forgotten that, so thank you for reminding me with your story! Finger and hand injuries are so throbbingly painful; you describe your situations so well and your healings in the sort of detail that I can feel. Thank you. Hallelujah!
I’m delighted to hear that your husband overcame his nature and went forward to receive healing. What a miracle. I have had my spinal stenosis prayed for in a similar manner, but so far God has not willed healing for me. He has his reasons for dealing with us in different ways. It is a pleasure to read about your husband’s healing!
I love this last story the best. I’m so glad you shared. To God be the glory, great things he has done!
I have a couple more I will have to find. I have a book I log things into that are special to me and others! I did this because someone had remembered a healing I had and I had not recalled it, like now! Yes, finger injuries are very painful!
EVERY time I am touched by the Holy Spirit I am humbled and grateful for being a child of God. Not just healing but also revealing The Word!!
Keep praying for your spinal stenosis and asking for prayers because we don’t know when, who and where The Holy Spirit will heal!!! God Bless His children!!
Thank you. I look forward to any other stories you will share!
When I was in my late teens/early twenties I had some really horrible, traumatic things happen to me that completely destroyed my life. It went on for years (They ended up in prison). I really don’t want to go into any details on here. I was in a really bad, dark place and it felt like I could not lift myself out of it. I had reached the end of my rope and did not know what to do. I started looking to God and praying. I asked him for strength to be able to get passed it and move on with my life. I prayed several times daily and prayed in bed before I went to sleep every night. I prayed so much, I would sometimes fall asleep in mid prayer.
Then something amazing happened almost a year later. God sent me my husband.
He brought a joy and happiness to my life that I had never experienced before. We both fell in love and were inseparable. I felt like I had finally started to live. He helped me through the darkest period in my life and for that I am forever thankful.
I still deal with nightmares and flashbacks from time to time, but it has gotten easier to deal with. It’s not nearly as bad or as often as it used to be. It is all due to God, prayer and the love and support of my husband.
We’ve had a lot of rough moments in our marriage. Medical problems between both of us and two out of our eight children, many pregnancy losses, various jobs that came with a lot of harassment, problems with extended family and we are still going strong after 21 years. Life can be really hard sometimes.
We will not allow anyone to break us.
Praise be to God!
What a strong, hopeful testimony! Thank you, Trillian (love your homepage). I’m sorry for your suffering. You are an overcomer! God was so good to send your husband just when you needed him.
I think the return of Jesus is very close. We must endure a bit longer, and then we will truly rest from our labors. Not only so, but when we see him we shall be completely healed.
Thank you for sharing this testimony.
Amazing Grace
John Newton
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.
When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.
Here is a really delightful retelling of the salvation of CS Lewis, who referred to himself as “the most reluctant convert in all of England”! It includes a video inset of a dramatization of CS Lewis’ conversations with JRR Tolkien along Addison’s Walk, Oxford, which were instrumental in his transformation from atheist to believer.
John Bunyan, the author of The Pilgrim’s Progress, has a testimony that turns on this event:
“But one day, after he had removed to Bedford, as he was passing down the street, he noticed a few poor women in conversation in a doorway. He drew near, and listened a while to their talk. They were speaking of the new birth, and the work of God’s Spirit in their souls, and their personal experiences of the saving power of God’s grace through Christ. He stood amazed, and realized that they possessed something of which he was entirely ignorant.”
Source: https://www.wholesomewords.org/biography/bbunyan12.html
“Now my bad time is better than my good time used to be.”
Testimony of Pops Staples
Song: Somebody was Watching, written by Brenda Burns
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