On a basic level, what women want in a man are a) providence (a house, a car, money) and b) protection.
I don’t think they mind if a man acts like a beast because women would rather have a lion to tame than have a pre-tamed lion. There’s no challenge in that. If the man is violent, that’s okay as long as it’s not violence toward her or her children.
While the rabbi’s advice seems reasoned and wise, he forgets that women are animals too and, like most animals, they care most about their own survival and the survival of their progeny.
Hence why a good woman is more precious than gold and rubies.