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Man seeks restraining order against God
The Times of Israel ^ | May 4, 2016 | STUART WINER

Posted on 05/06/2016 12:36:06 PM PDT by LearnsFromMistakes

Haifa resident asks court to keep the Almighty away, claiming He is being mean to him

An Israeli man has petitioned the Haifa Magistrate’s Court for a restraining order against God, claiming the Almighty has been particularly unkind to him.

The initiator of the request, a resident of the northern port city, represented himself in court, the Walla news site reported on Wednesday.

A protocol of the hearing noted that God did not turn up for the session, although it did not specify how the court determined the Omnipresent was not in fact there, as opposed to merely exercising the right to remain silent.

The petitioner, who was not named in the report, noted that he had tried to obtain the restraining order from police for the past three years but that police had merely sent a patrol car to his home on 10 occasions.

He argued that over a three-year period God, had exhibited a seriously negative attitude toward him, although details of just what divine mischief he had borne the brunt of were not mentioned in the report.

Presiding Judge Ahsan Canaan denied the request, which he said was ludicrous, asserting the applicant needed help not from the court but rather from other sources.

The report did not include a response on the outcome from any of the multitude of available spokespeople on behalf of the Lord.


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Humor
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Apparently, this 'Israeli man' is not one of God's chosen...
1 posted on 05/06/2016 12:36:06 PM PDT by LearnsFromMistakes
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

LOL, good luck with that!


2 posted on 05/06/2016 12:37:33 PM PDT by rlmorel ("Irrational violence against muslims" is a myth, but "Irrational violence against non-muslims" isn't)
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

“A man’s own sin destroys his life and yet in his heart he rages against God”—Proverbs


3 posted on 05/06/2016 12:38:35 PM PDT by avenir (I'm pessimistic about man, but I'm optimistic about GOD!)
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

4 posted on 05/06/2016 12:38:44 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

Oh he might have been chosen...but he seems not to like any better than Moses did at the burning bush.


5 posted on 05/06/2016 12:42:18 PM PDT by AndyTheBear
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

Book of Job, 2016 remake. :/


6 posted on 05/06/2016 12:43:27 PM PDT by To Hell With Poverty (Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. ~ JFK ~)
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To: DannyTN

Lol...what a gem John Lovitz is!


7 posted on 05/06/2016 12:44:44 PM PDT by To Hell With Poverty (Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. ~ JFK ~)
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

.


8 posted on 05/06/2016 12:50:50 PM PDT by diamond6 ("I'm going to do EXACTLY what I told you I'm going to do!" - Ted Cruz)
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

a few comments:

1. being “chosen” does not imply being given any favored treatment. On the contrary, it means being chosen for a mision (”light unto the world,” “city on a hill,” etc.)...
and being held to a stricter standard (since G-d has blessed the Jewish people with covenant, presence, and word/teachings)
2. nevertheless, I can only commiserate with the plaintiff. We all have our list of complaints or grievances in this life, and many of them have legitimacy. This life is neither easy nor always fair.
3. Reminds of the teaching about how G-d got tired of hearing all the complaints and so had everyone write down his.her list of bitches and wrap them in blankets and toss the blankets in a big pile. The next day G-d told each of them to go take any blanket s/he wished. Everyone ran for someone else’s blanket/list... but then stopped and threw it down....and hunted thru the pile for their own list instead.
4. With all due deference to the Haifa, Israel court... it decided correctly... in that one can only wonder how the Honorable court could have exercised jurisdiction or enforced any order it might have issued against G-d. We can only wish our USSureme Court, or at least 4 of its commie-type “justices” would be equally as wise and demonstrate similar humility before the ever-presence of the Lord.


9 posted on 05/06/2016 12:53:01 PM PDT by faithhopecharity ("Politicians are not born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 -- 43 BCE))
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

What makes him think God is the negative?

If anyone is the ‘negative’ it’s the ‘other guy’...

and now he’s alone in the room with him.


10 posted on 05/06/2016 12:53:54 PM PDT by Beowulf9
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

God has shown more restraint than can be described by mere words.
Christ crucified.


11 posted on 05/06/2016 12:55:24 PM PDT by right way right (May we remain sober over mere men, for God really is our one and only true hope.)
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

Ha!
this also brings to mind the famous (to older folks anyway) musician who didn’t like his new high property tax bill and .. he deeded his ranch/home to G-d and then returned the bill to the tax collector with the notation that the bill neded to be forwarded to the new owner to pay. the story was then approximately thus:
the tax collector didn’t know quite how to do that so he sued the musician for the money. The musician pointed out that he was no longer the owner so should not have to pay the tax. Who pays taxes on land he doesn’t own?
The judge finally ruled that G-d could not own real estate because he does not have an address on file to receive the property tax bills. (Apparently, the judge forgot who the real Owner of it all is... ha!)
Musician had to pay the taxes.
(well, he never moved off the land anyway...)


12 posted on 05/06/2016 1:01:25 PM PDT by faithhopecharity ("Politicians are not born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 -- 43 BCE))
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

The judge should’ve granted the request but charge him extra for it. He could claim that it’s harder and more costly to deliver an injunction to heaven.

Extra hundred in the gov trough.


13 posted on 05/06/2016 1:02:16 PM PDT by fruser1
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

“Haifa Magistrate’s Court”

I think this fellow is going to have to appeal to a MUCH higher court.


14 posted on 05/06/2016 1:06:59 PM PDT by kosciusko51
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

This sounds a lot like American leftists’ demands.


15 posted on 05/06/2016 1:09:48 PM PDT by fwdude
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

If this had been a cowardly American court the judge would have ruled the man didn’t have standing.

Maybe it’s satan that’s doing all the bad things to him. I know where he could get a very strong restraining order against satan.


16 posted on 05/06/2016 1:13:11 PM PDT by VerySadAmerican (Never held a job in the private sector;never met a payroll,never created a job - CRUZ! Conservative!)
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

disrespecting God and mocking God. What could possibly go wrong


17 posted on 05/06/2016 1:17:38 PM PDT by mjp ((pro-{God, reality, reason, egoism, individualism, natural rights, limited government, capitalism}))
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To: mjp

“disrespecting God and mocking God. What could possibly go wrong”

I’m betting his restraining order will be approved just as he arrives at the “Pearly Gates”.


18 posted on 05/06/2016 1:28:05 PM PDT by moovova
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To: LearnsFromMistakes

“God is not your celestial butler.” —Dennis Prager


19 posted on 05/06/2016 1:30:00 PM PDT by onedoug
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To: All

Imagine if God started launching defamation suits.

Just sayin, lawyers would be busy for aeons.


20 posted on 05/06/2016 1:34:04 PM PDT by Peter ODonnell (I've crossed the Rubicon -- God speed Donald Trump (just remember these are two different persons))
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