You don't understand what I am saying. He is likely afraid to commit to another woman because he is afraid of becoming close to the person and loosing another spouse. Thus a married person is what many afraid of commitment choose because think that there can be no commitment which they are scared of. I'm not saying it's right.
I'm simply trying to explain why he would even go there when he otherwise would not. That kind of loss is one many do not understand unless they have dealt with it. It can bring on a lot of darkness that has to be dealt with, for some a lot of anger at the deceased, GOD, family, you name it, confusion, loneliness, fear of never loving another person, fear of not ever finding such a love again,fear of marrying again and facing the new spouses death again, all of the above, some of the above, at any given time, all of the time, a very short time, or it can last for years.
His sin was in the mind not in the flesh. Wrong? Yes definitely. Most do no less IN THEIR MINDS others usually lie :>} Others are fortunate enough not to have any sexual feelings I reckon. These acts everybody in society accepts such as looking at the pictures a friend sent in an e-mail as a joke, reading a magazine such as Playboy {even the articles or letters}, staring at that cute young thing walking across the parking lot, whatever. What runs through the mind is one thing then conscience says Uh hey don't go there?
Other sins just as serious we all pass of as well that's ok. Wishing to do someone serious physical harm for an act they were likely oblivious too like nearly running you off the road and you say If I could catch that ***##@@ I'd beat the living @$$#@ out of him even anger against someone without a true cause which happens a lot in marriage. It's wrong.
Persons respond to grief differently no two persons are the same. You date someone too soon people talk, you don't date again people talk, the foundation of friends and persons you knew changes at the death of a spouse as well every aspect of your being changes. Why? Because your common bond with them was as a couple. OH and porn might be a venue someone dealing with their grief takes briefly. The mind plays some very real & cruel tricks on a person in that timeframe, they are very vulnerable and not as strong or alert in their spiritual self. When it overcomes and won't go away at that point professional help is needed. Meaning a grief specialist or a therapist to help get through it.
He sinned, we all sin, but this was not a flesh sin as in bedding someone but a sin in his brain which I commend him for not following through. It should have been kept between him and The Lord and maybe a counselor.
I'm saying what I say as one who has been down the loss of spouse to death road twice the last just five months ago. I remarried first time in less than six months. My next marriage was almost thirty years. Did I step out either time? No. Several reasons. GOD would know, I would know, My wives both of whom knew me like a book would know and I would never inflict that hurt upon them, and I had who I wanted. Everyone gets tempted. It's how we handle the temptation as in carrying out our wayward thoughts that matters. That man went to a stupid website most persons including myself never heard of. It ended as going to the website and his conscience convicting him it was wrong and he backed out. That is how it is supposed to work. Temptations will always be there for one and all. Once we see the sin the wise thing to ask yourself is it worth it? He obviously by his account said no. That should have been it and It sure as heck should not have been a news story.
He did need to step away from his ministry. Not because of a stupid act he did but rather he needed to step back and have time to heal outside of for a preacher what can be very judgmental eyes. I've seen preachers fired because they could not handle grief. One situation was he could not face seeing his dieing friend the church music director who was dieing. The man could barely 30 years ago visit my then girlfriend in the hospital because it hurt him so much. He knew what she had been through in her previous marriage which was severe abuse, cheated on, and then abandoned with two kids. He saw her life changing finally for the better. Then he saw an illness where she could never walk another step. It affected him. It's called grief. On the flip side he did do our wedding for us in the hospital. He said it was the best one he had did in his life LOL.
At some point we all face it. Loosing a spouse to death can bring a darkness and pain you can not describe to anyone who has not been there. Preachers are as human as you and me and make the same mistakes. We are blessed that The Lord doesn't treat us as we treat them.
He was in a position of trust. He acted on it. That is how AM was traced to him through the hack. He blogged about AM and publicly lied. He blogged about Josh Duggar and deceived the public. This is all the flesh, not just the mind.
As with Josh Duggar, we really don't know if he is telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We know he lied about it. We know he was caught.