Or....
Thank you for calling Heaven's Hotline!
Every call is important to us.
If you wish to access the Heaven's Hotline FAQ sheet, Press 1 to be connected to Catholic Answers
If you wish to access the Heaven's Hotline FAQ sheet en Espanol, Pulse 2 para ser conectado a Catholic Answers
If you wish to talk to GOD Himself, please realize His time is limited. Many other representitives and even His mother is available to handle your request, praise, plea, prayer and/or worship/adoration/veneration.
Stay on the line and one will be with you shortly.
Thank you for calling Heaven's Hotline! All lines are presently in use...
After receiving an answer from Heaven's Hotline, Press 3 to hear instructions for the correct amount of alms to be given to the poor. (Or Hail Marys...)
(Cue background music: Ave Maria )
Wow, you really seem afraid that someone actually will ask you. I guess if one of your fellow Protestants was brave enough to do it, what would we see? At the very least that sola scriptura doesn’t work.