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Thank You Veto... My wife has been going to Families Anonymous for over a year...I have been attending for 3 months...it is extremely helpful....my wife has been a rock through this...it is still difficult for me....although I completely understand what is being communicated.

Asking my daughter to leave our home was the hardest thing I have ever done.....especially after what happened in Florida... but I know.... she will never find a need to reform....unless she sees that there is nothing left to support her....

I feel like I have lived a life time in 2 months...I have lost 15lbs...and I am exhausted....and I know I cannot save her...she must save herself, with God's lead...it is just so difficult given how much you love them to accept that.

I sent this to Amanda today....I am not sure she read it....but I told her on the phone the same....:

Please let us know if you called the tratement center by noon to let them know you will be there by 4pm, If you do not get back to your mother and I by noon.....we will assume you are not going.

If that is your decision, than we will drop off the remainder of your clothes....hopefully today. I would like to bring your sister to see you one last time, so please do not be high or strung out before we meet.....keep in mind this might be the last time she sees you...and she should remember you in a good way....

You see Amanda, your addiction is killing me. I have lost 15 pounds over the last 2 months....my health is starting to fail. I'm am now in a position where I have to choose between you and the rest of the family....If I don't change, I will likely die within a year....so I have to make a choice, do I kill myself trying to help you or do I regroup and try to support your sister and mother?

As you know, I will be losing my job soon, so I have to get better....if I am to be able to take care of your mom and sister. So I have no choice but to walk away from this if there is to be any hope in getting my mind healthy and ready for the hardships and challenges to come.

From your birth to now, I have loved you more than life itself....I would die trying to help you if it was not that it would kill your mom and sister as well. So, it is time for me to Let Go and Let God....

I hope you take up the offer and call and go....but you may not. The decision to save yourself is yours. Yeah it is a program that requires commitment from you, that is because there are years of drug abuse that need to be unwound...and....overcome....so it will take time. Yeah, you will be separated from those you love for long periods, that is tough, but so is a permanent separation through death...which is where this is going if you don't get off the path you are on....

This program is proven to be one of the best. So I pray you go as you told me you would....and try to save yourself.

I am proud of you no matter what and will never stop loving you with my whole heart and praying for you....you fought like a Lion to get back on your feet....you have a heart that loves others and is good, God is in there whether you choose to believe it or not...I see it. You deserve better, a life worth living....I wish you could see that.....I wish I could give that to you....but only you can make that happen....by using that same spirit....to fight for it...by taking advantage of the help being offered.

So the choice is yours....I pray you choose to grab our hand....fight like a Lion....and let God lead....

I Love You.

She is safe tonight I pray....and I hope she uses this year to find a peace that surpasses all understanding....in addition too a life worth living... As I told her..I will love her unconditionally....and pray for her unceasingly....

Good letter. Let go and let God!

PigRigger, none of this is your fault. No one is to blame.

Understanding this is the most precious gift of Alanon, and I urge you to go to as many meetings as you can. You, not just your wife. People in these groups have been through every possible pain, every crazy situation, every scam our addict/alcoholics can pull on us. You can discuss anything there. And you should. Please don’t let this destroy your health and happiness.

God bless.

Checking in to see how Amanda is doing. Glad to see your posts. Prayers continue of course.