I'm Gay, but I'm Not Switching to a Church That Supports Gay Marriage

The Atlantic ^ | May 30, 2013 | Eve Tushnet

[Mrs. Don-o]

When I became Catholic in 1998, as a college sophomore, I didn't know any other gay Christians. I'd been raised in a kind of pointillist Reform Judaism...

This sheltered upbringing may help explain my sunny undergraduate confidence that even though I knew of literally nobody else who had ever tried to be both unashamedly gay and obediently Catholic, I was totally going to do it. No problem, guys, I got this.

[snip]

[M]any Christian churches are beginning to integrate gay marriage into their theology... With so many more options for gay Christians, why [not] just de-pope myself?

It's that I fell in love with the Catholic Church....I didn't switch from atheistic post-Judaism to "belief in God," but to Catholicism: the Incarnation and the Crucifixion...her insistence that seemingly irreconcilable needs could both be met in God's overwhelming love: justice and mercy, reason and mystery, a savior who is fully God and also fully human. I didn't expect to understand every element of the faith. It is a lot bigger than I am.

[snip]

At the time of my baptism...I figured, everybody has to sacrifice something. God doesn't promise that He'll only ask you for the sacrifices you agree with and understand.

[snip]

Right now, the Biblical witness seems pretty clear. Both opposite-sex and same-sex love are used, in the Bible, as images of God's love. The opposite-sex love is found in marriage—sexually exclusive marriage, an image which recurs not only in the Song of Songs but in the prophets and in the New Testament—and the same-sex love is friendship. Both of these forms of love are considered real and beautiful; neither is better than the other. But they're not interchangeable.

Moreover, Genesis names sexual difference as the only difference which was present in Eden...

(Much more at link)

[Marie]

Thank yo for the compliment!

I’m struggling with this right now.

I have PCOS and pre-T2 diabetes. Carbohydrates are terrible for my body and I’m transitioning to a low-carb diet.

And my body is *screaming* for carbs right now. I think of it as a 2 year old having a tantrum. Eventually, my internal 2 year old will give up, but it’s not today!

My husband just left of Korea. I miss him. I miss sex. But I will choose to abstain for the next year. I’m not a bad person because my body has natural urges for carbs and sex. I don’t feel guilty for those urges. That’s just the natural, physical, instincts speaking. Gd gave us those urges so that we don’t die and so that we don’t fail to procreate. They’re not necessarily evil.

Where I *would* be guilty is if I allowed my urges to override what I knew was right. Gd tells me to be faithful to my husband. Gd tells me to care for the body that He gifted me with. I will listen to Gd even when the 2 year old physical body is saying, ‘I want!!’

You’re so right. In humans, instincts are a strong suggestion, not a command. The command comes from The Word.

[OriginalChristian]

She is referring to same sex love in the filial sense not the carnal sense, that is to mean friendship, deep friendship. Jesus Himself exhibited filial love with all his disciples and most likely everyone he met. This is the type of love we are all called to with all those besides our spouse, and then its both kinds, filial and eros with our spouses.

[Up Yours Marxists]

“Who’s using the Lord’s Name in vain?”

You are, but apparently you don’t realize it.

Good day to you, madam.

[Mrs. Don-o]

I hear you. That's one of the difficulties in writing (or talking) about the attraction-drive: some people take "gay" to mean "self-affirming sodomizer," and others (like Eve Tushnet, Melinda Selmys, and others) use it to mean "same-sex attracted." Words like "gay" and "homosexual" often cause a couple uncomfortable moments of puzzlement unless you either have footnoted definitions or are careful about scanning the context.

I think Tushnet makes it sufficiently clear by context, that she has made the decision to avoid homosexual acts because they are forbidden by God. She acknowledges the terminology difficulties by saying at one point, "gay/queer/same-sex-attracted".

She makes it unambiguous that she experiences a same-sex attraction pattern but chooses abstinent chastity. That's a virtue: and a tough one to explain in today's hedonistic culture.

[Mrs. Don-o]

I hear you. That's one of the difficulties in writing (or talking) about the attraction-drive: some people take "gay" to mean "self-affirming sodomizer," and others (like Eve Tushnet, Melinda Selmys, and others) use it to mean "same-sex attracted." Words like "gay" and "homosexual" often cause a couple uncomfortable moments of puzzlement unless you either have footnoted definitions or are careful about scanning the context.

I think Tushnet makes it sufficiently clear by context, that she has made the decision to avoid homosexual acts because they are forbidden by God. She acknowledges the terminology difficulties by saying at one point, "gay/queer/same-sex-attracted".

She makes it unambiguous that she experiences a same-sex attraction pattern but chooses abstinent chastity. That's a virtue: and a tough one to explain in today's hedonistic culture.

[OriginalChristian]

The attraction is not the sin. The action is the sin. Same sex attraction is not a sin. If one with same sex attraction acts on that attraction in a carnal or genital way, that action is the sin.
The writer is pointing out that filial love is always acceptable and equal to albeit different than eros love which is reserved for marriage.

Jesus answers this decisively when He answers the question of which commandment is the most important: Love God with your whole heart, mind and being, and the second is like unto it, love your neighbor as yourself. The last phrase is the definition of filial love which we are all called to. If we as Christians follow these two commandments, we will never commit a sin.

[Up Yours Marxists]

“Doesn’t seem like you actually read the article.”

Oh I sure did (unlike some skimmers on here), and I used reading comprehension to understand:

a) She associates herself to a non-Christian “Gay” social group

b) She’s not ashamed of it either

Looks like some Christians here are falling into the “social acceptance” trap Paul mentions over and over again in his letters.

[Mrs. Don-o]

I love Eve Tushnet. She blogs at Patheos:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/evetushnet/

...and she does a very high percentage of her own thinking. Know what I mean? She's presently doing a series on the Mysteries of the Rosary and they will widen your heart.

[OriginalChristian]

Ping.

[Mrs. Don-o]

(((((sigh)))))

Amen.

[Mrs. Don-o]

Thanks, I guess.

:o)

[Mrs. Don-o]

Well said, OriginalChristian.

[Marie]

So you’re telling me that you’ve *never* had a physical urge for something that you shouldn’t have?

You’ve never wanted a drink or craved pizza or a doughnut? You’ve *never* noticed boobs or a butt and had a physical response that you had to suppress? You’ve never been full, but wanted a creamy desert? You’ve never been attracted to a woman who wasn’t appropriate and had to push that thought/urge away?

I wish I were you. I wish I could go through life without having to fight temptation. I wish I didn’t have wants and drives that I have to battle. I wish I could stop being hungry when I needed to lose weight. What a relaxing time it would be.

Oh! To be free of this human body and to be in heaven now!!

Seriously. How do you do it? How do you keep your body from every feeling an inappropriate urge? I really want to know because I fight my body’s urges every day in one form or another.

I believe that it’s called ‘temptation’ and I don’t succumb to it. If I’m suppose to feel guilty for temptation, then I guess there’s no redemption for me because it never stops. Ever.

[Mrs. Don-o]

[Marie]

yeee-up.

That’s ‘life’ right there.

[hosepipe]

Chasity is a good thing...

[ravenwolf]

I mean...I thought that involved an ice cream cone to the forehead...or so I have been told.

---

I am pretty hard to catch on.

the first time I heard some one say to come down and get a free big mac I thought I was going to get a truck.

[Tax-chick]

Moreover, celibate gay Christians can offer proof that friendship can be real love, and deserves the same honor as any other form of lovingkindness, caretaking and devotion. While nobody wants every friendship to be a deep, committed "spiritual friendship" of the kind championed by St. Aelred, many of us—including single straight people, and married people of every orientation—long for deeper and more lasting friendships. The cultural changes which would better nourish celibate gay Christians, then, would be good for everyone else as well.

I thought this paragraph was particularly strong. Having observed that the option of using another person for sexual gratification can drive out everything else, I think there should be much more value placed on friendship and love that is "human being to human being," rather than "consumer to object."

[ravenwolf]

I believe that it’s called ‘temptation’ and I don’t succumb to it.

---

Right, I don`t either because they always say, I don`t succumb to it.

[CA Conservative]

You are, but apparently you don’t realize it.

I think you failed to read her comment carefully, noting the punctuation. When she said "for Christ's sake", she wasn't using that as an expletive. She was literally saying the author was choosing to be abstinent and chaste for His (Christ's) sake - because of the author's love for Him, which is greater than her carnal desire.