Posted on 10/23/2010 8:32:58 PM PDT by Salvation
There's a great piece in the National Catholic Register on the fight against pornography. The story focuses on Matthew Fradd. Fradd himself was addicted to porn before being freed from his addiction by the grace of God. He is now helping others. . .
OTTAWA, Ontario After successfully battling an addiction to pornography, Matthew Fradd has dedicated himself to helping others.
Porn is not just naughty its evil, said Fradd, a 27-year-old Australian living in Ottawa, Ontario. It emasculates men, degrades women and destroys marriages.
Fradd has begun his second year operating his anti-pornography website, ThePornEffect.com . He launched it on Aug. 14, 2009, on the feast of St. Maximilian Kolbe, patron of addicts, using $12,000 in seed money donated to him by a priest-friend.
Fradds is a lonely voice going against the culture on the issue, especially considering that nearly 25 million websites (12% of all websites) and 25% of all daily search-engine requests are pornography-related.
In addition, a surprising number of women are regular viewers of pornography. A third of those Americans regularly visiting porn websites are women.
A variety of polls have revealed that those active in Christian churches have difficulties with porn. Promise Keepers, one of the largest Christian mens conferences in the United States, asked men at their 2008 conferences in anonymous polls if they had viewed porn in the last week; 53% of the nearly 10,000 who responded admitted that they had.
Pornography is hard on marriages, too. In a 2002 survey of 350 members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, an association of divorce attorneys, for example, 56% said obsessive interest in pornographic sites was a factor leading to marital breakups.
Fradds site features information about how pornography affects men, women and marriages, inspirational stories of individuals who have become porn-free, information on how to beat porn addictions, videos, and opportunities to offer support to those who want to be free of porn. Fradd launched the site, he explained, because while there are millions of websites that feature pornography, theres not a lot out there for men and women who are struggling to be free from porn.
Hooked at 8
Fradd, who is from southern Australia, got hooked on pornography at the age of 8 when he found some in his grandfathers shed. By age 12, he was stealing porn from neighborhood stores, and in his teen years, he had acquired a vast collection.
No one had to tell me it was a bad thing, he said. I knew it was shameful. I was hoping Id grow out of it.
Would you similarly tell a wife to treat the situation as an "opportunity to share in the sufferings of Christ"?Any injustice provides that opportunity. When I wrote "It's not fair, it's not right. A man in that situation is in a position where only heroic virtue will suffice" I thought I was saying that the wife's behavior was wrong. I don't think the husband has to just stoically "stiff upper lip" it either. What makes that situation all the more unjust is that there is no other outlet. Yeah, cooking, cleaning, what have you, all have alternate solutions even if those alternates cause some hardship. Sex doesn't.
A wife whose husband is failing needs to do the same thing a husband with a failing wife should do: pray, pray, pray and then pray some more remembering that love is an act of the will whether it's felt or not. Let the offending spouse know the nightmare being endured, don't give the chance for "I had no idea" to ever be an excuse.
Thank you. We, the FReepers can make the difference.
I believe that, too.
The direction that I was coming from when I entered into this thread relates to the "Unclean Hands Doctrine" of common law (and reportedly going back to the Fourth Lateran Council), where someone complaining about a violation of an agreement must not himself also be in violation.
The essential applicability is that a wife is only allowed to complain about her husband's porn viewing if she herself had been fully upholding her end of the marriage with respect to sex. In other words, if she had been chronically rejecting him sexually, then she forfeits her right to complain if he watches porn; if she HAS been making an effort to satisfy his desires, and yet he still turns to porn, then she does have a right to rebuke him for that.
It’s also extremely disgusting.
Thanks so much.
Actually while I am more visually oriented than most women, earning potential and status are not what gets the ladies: check these polls
http://www.themodernman.com/what_women_want.html
http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?217675
Whether or not a man listens to her and respects her feelings is a larger factor than how much money he makes or what his status is. If women in India feel this way, I imagine this trend is magnified in the US, where there is no rigid caste system and women are more independent from their husbands financially, as this Time article shows
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1930277_1930145_1930309-1,00.html
And far from “slurping empty calories at Starbucks” 7 million women in the US are anorexics.
http://www.state.sc.us/dmh/anorexia/statistics.htm
http://www.disordered-eating.co.uk/eating-disorders-statistics/anorexia-nervosa-statistics-us.html
It might also interest you to know that thinner women, aka girls you consider hot, have a lower sex drive in general (Lupton, Deborah. Food, the Body, and the Self. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications Ltd, 1996, p.34)
P.S. Who the heck is Tony Soprano?
I also notice you failed to answer my point about lower porn usage among women despite the fact that men aren’t as svelte as they used to be either.
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