Posted on 11/05/2007 6:30:37 AM PST by NYer
Dear Family Regretfully, I have a message that does not come without significant pain to both you and me. I have to tell you in all honesty and truth, that I have been personally involved with helping a widow and her struggling family. Over the course of time, the mother and I have grown very close. As a result, I am compelled to take some time off to prayerfully and honestly discern my future. I am truly sorry of the impact this may have on so many. I am not unaware of the gravity and magnitude of the situation, yet after much wise counsel, it is really something that I must deal with now for the good of all. With that said, it is best that I deal with it away from EWTN. Therefore, I have asked for and graciously been granted some extended time to prayerfully discern my vocation. To those who are part of the EWTN family locally, and others throughout the world, especially all those who have supported me so faithfully in my priestly vocation and ministry here on Life on the Rock, I sincerely apologize. I ask for your prayers and understanding during this time that is so very difficult, but yet so very necessary. Please lift me up in your humble prayers to Jesus through Mary, our Mother, in Grace and Mercy. Fr Francis Mary, MFVA
Fr Anthony Mary then said "Brothers and Sisters of our EWTN family, this is a time in which Fr Francis and all involved are in great need of your prayers and your support as our family. Always remember that no one is beyond the power of God's Mercy or Redemption. And on Fr's behalf, I humbly ask that you pray for him. God bless you."
I don't want to play the Monday morning quarterback but a couple of things come to mind.
1) Spiritual direction.
Virile, charismatic, sensitive and handsome young men who assist and offer comfort and solace to women who find themselves in extremely difficult circumstances, place themselves in a potentially dangerous situation. Such situations need to be carefully monitored and watched over by a vigilant and discerning spiritual director. In the first instance, to see if initial contact is even deemed suitable and then on an ongoing basis.
2) Mortification
In my own miserable and unedifying experience, the only way around these temptations is a) flight, or if that is not an option, b)penance and mortification. The emotions involved are otherwise too strong to overcome in merely human terms. Yes, prayer is important but it needs to be accompanied by sacrifice. Prayer alone won't do it. Again, a discerning spiritual director is required here. To put it another way, a special sort of man is needed for these missions. A very holy one.
I can only imagine how Mother Angelica must feel about this. A further heavy cross for her to carry as her health wanes and her physical powers fail her. We know well by now that those who preach religion in the public forum, especially through the media, are a special target for the devil and I'm not talking of only Catholic television personalities here. The amount of scandal which can be created by their living in a manner incompatible with the faith which they publicly espouse, is enormous. Nothing breeds contempt for religion like the appearance of hypocrisy.
If anything positive can be drawn from this, it's the reminder that this man is our brother and the sin of one man hurts the whole Church. Time to redouble our own efforts and purify our own lives.
This 'confession' will literally rock many of the viewers. Fr. Francis has invested many years in developing a rapport with youth around the world. They look up to him. Satan is very clever in his work.
As I recall, Fr. Francis was engaged to be married when he changed his mind and entered the priesthood, so this is not uncharted territory. He has even cited his 'call' as an example to viewers of how our Lord reaches out at all stages of life. Satan can deceive us for just so long. Should Fr. Francis pursue this path, both he and the woman will one day emerge from the starry eyed stupor to the reality of their actions. As my pastor has pointed out, this will "hit them in the back of the head, knock them to the ground and they will bite the floor" (it's a Lebanese expression, but you get the point :-)
Prayers for Father Mary.
Most gracious Heavenly Father,
We thank you for our for our faithful priests and bishops, whose spiritual fatherhood and example of fidelity, self-sacrifice, and devotion is so vital to the faith of your people.
May our spiritual fathers be guided by the examples of Saints Peter and Paul, all the Apostles and their saintly successors. Give them valiant faith in the face of confusion and conflict, hope in time of trouble and sorrow, and steadfast love for you, for their families, and for all your people throughout the world. May the light of your Truth shine through their lives and their good works.
Assist all spiritual fathers, that through your Grace they may steadily grow in holiness and in knowledge and understanding of your Truth. May they generously impart this knowledge to those who rely on them.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
And it's in better taste than the equivalent English figure of speech that comes to mind.
Excellent post, and Amen to it all!
Very sad. But before we start judging his soul, we should be on our knees praying that God’s will be done.
How did this public confession come about? Was someone going to “out” him and he’s pre-emptively doing it? Is there dissent/anger/scandal among his fellow friars? I can only assume that he is truly struggling, and his letter asks for our prayers. With a paucity of facts at our disposal, we should leave off the finger-wagging and pray that he will receive the grace to honor his vocation to the priesthood.
I pray this woman runs as fast as she can away from him.
I agree, dandelion, that a man might actually ask for healing and prayer from the “temptation” side of the equation, rather than the “sin” side.
We must all remember that to assume that Fr. Francis has sinned is bringing ourselves near to the sin of calumny. Charity requires that we assume his innocence. To do less is to allow the enemy to win this round. “All things work together for good to them that love God” (Rom. 8:28a) and God will bring good out of this situation if we but trust in Him.
After all, many great and holy saints were “close” without sinning - especially St. Francis of Assisi and St. Clare of Assisi, the patron saints of Fr. Francis Mary’s order and of the Poor Clares (and Fr. Francis Mary’s personal patron saint, obviously). We must ask St. Francis and St. Clare to pray for these two, who are in a terrible spiritual struggle.
It’s also quite possible that Fr. Francis Mary is dealing with the temptation to have his own children - a ready-made family. As one who has dealt personally with this inability, it can cause a great deal of heartache, especially if one is having a mid-life crisis. And yes, one would have expected him to have dealt with this before taking his vows, but it’s possible that he didn’t fully and is now having to deal with it in crisis mode. It is possible to lie to oneself and pretend that all issues are dealt with, only to have them crop up again later on.
In addition to Fr. Francis and the widow, we should pray for her children, for Fr. Francis Mary’s spiritual director who didn’t head this off at the pass, for Fr. Anthony Mary, and for the head of this order (not sure who it is), for Mother Angelica, and for the whole EWTN family.
St. Francis and St. Clare, pray for them - and for us!
Perhaps there are more details than I am aware of. I’m just going on the letter and know little about Fr’s personal character except that he’s placed himself in a dangerous situation. It seems like a rather large leap from perhaps experiencing amorous feelings toward another woman and actually moving towards shacking up/settling down/leaving your current spouse (in Fr’s case, the Church) to be with that person. I’d like to know what happened in between...
It is in our nature to want answers and to pass our own particular judgement onto the situation but we ARE better off praying for him and others who might be harmed by this announcement.
I don’t think anyone is really judging his soul. I’m sure all the posts are just differing responses to a very real concern for this priest.
I know that when I posted before, I couldn’t help but think ( considering only the principle and not the specific person), that in the married state we know how harmful it would be not to walk away from temptation. It can be expected then that we would see how important it is in the living of priestly vows as well.
Of course, we don’t understand all the facts, nor the reason for the public letter, nor how many different people and actions are part of the picture. I’m not sure the public has to know all of that. Perhaps someone wiser than me can tell me how much the public needs to know in a situtation like this where the priest is well-known and very visible.
In any case, it’s always the first and best thing to pray for this priest, for the widow and children and Fr. Francis Mary’s spiritual adviser.
How true it is that this is one of those times when we all must look to ourselves and to acknowledge how vulnerable all of us are in so many ways.
Rutles4Ever,To be honest I have no interest in what happen.I bet he comes back to his vocation .I have seen this happen before.
Very good post!
I think one of the problems with high-profile people like Fr. Francis Mary is that - aside from the fact that the Devil really has them in his sights - they sometimes become overconfident and their spiritual directors are often a little intimidated.
I have always felt this is what happened to Thomas Merton, who really went off the rails towards the end of his life. But that was because he was allowed to become a “personality,” and the fact that he was a monk who really should have been almost anonymous was brushed aside, exposing him to all sorts of strange (intellectual) temptations. It could be that Fr. Francis Mary was in the same situation, that is, he had become somewhat of a personality and his spiritual directors in his order were hesitant to intervene.
In any case, yes, you are right, we must pray for them all.
Really, all we can do is pray. Otherwise, we’ll all have to list the sin of gossip the next time we go to confession. :)
I believe he was supposed to be the guest speaker at Rosary Sunday in the Diocese of Phoenix last weekend, but one of the other Friars substituted in his stead (forget exactly which one it was). I guess this explains why.
A day or two ago someone related the story line of a book /movie Thorn Birds (I’ve not read/seen) popular some years ago. More peculiar, is the Catholic woman who would encourage (welcome and strengthen) such affections from a priest, and the priest think such a woman desirable.
You have to be careful about language here. Exactly who would be doing the calling? A vocation, "calling", implies that it is from God. However, if Father Francis has already sworn an oath to God concerning his Priesthood and Religious order, then...?
A vocation to fatherhood and family life is indeed holy, but Father Francis has already vowed a life to spiritual fatherhood and family life through his Franciscan order. He would have to break that vow to God and then make claim to swear another contradictory vow before God for a different vocation.
Problem is, God doesn't break His vows, and we can only break ourselves against the vows we try to break. This, provided, that they are indeed validly sworn vows.
I'll pray for him and the widow with her family.
So sad. We’re praying God’s will be done.
We don't know the full status of the relationship, but it is certain that the devil is at work at a plan to try and take Father away from his vows and religious vocation. One never knows when the devil will step in with his plan of attack on someone he wants so badly, as must be the case with Fr. Francis Mary. We should not judge, only ask God to watch over him and give him strength and peace.
Overcoming human desires for a spiritual, celibate life can cause many conflicts, turmoil, and self-doubt when faced with/involved with a person whose needs are great. I am sure Father has had a very difficult time. Temptation can be so very powerful, it is not for the weak of spirit and the devil devises temptation to ruin those whose spirit, and very soul, he wants to deminish.
Every person who has ever faced temptation should pray that God to surrounds Father with His Grace and that the the wisdom of the Holy Spirit helps him discern the right path and overpower the temptations of the devil.
I suspect it would do more good if he got on his knees and had a long talk with God himself.
I agree; the most damage dark forces do against us is not with the obvious evil, but with the subtle seduction of helping others - outside the path to which God has already called us...
Too many good men and women have been similarly seduced outside of their own marriages, attempting to fill the needs in others’ lives at the unfortunate expense of their own families. It is true the widow may need a husband, and the children may need a father - it is a calling - but the call is not to a man already committed to holy vows.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.