This one is from a friend of mine from college whose brother married a Catholic girl and joined the church. They had two young children, a boy and a girl, and moved to Chicago. It was Christmas soon after they got there, and they hadn't settled in a parish yet, so they decided to go to Christmas Eve Mass at the Cathedral, along with the wife's parents, who were visiting from San Antonio.
He called the Cathedral to get directions, and the secretary said they needed tickets for the Mass. Free tickets. So he ordered the right number of tickets and got the directions, and off they went to Mass, with plenty of lead time to get lost. It turned out the reason they needed tickets was that the Papal Legate was there ("some Cardinal from Rome," according to my Baptist friend :-), and the Mass was being televised live on local stations.
When the family got there - Mom and Dad, grandparents, two cute kids, all dressed up - the usher decided to put them right up front. All goes well until the entrance procession, with the Legate, the Archbishop, the vicar, etc., etc., ... AND the incense! Their little girl hollered out, "YUCK! UGH! That stinks! I want to leave now!" and then the little boy says, "I have to go the bathroom NOW!" and grabbed his bottom and started leaping wildly, with significant gestures. And the cameras are pointed right at them ...
And it was on live TV in Chicago.
. . . there but for the grace of God . . .
That one's really over the top! I thought things were bad when my 5 year old son stood up at the parish talent show and started telling "jokes," the aimless way only a 5 yr old can do. He had gone down the aisle to sit with an older gentleman and his wife that he loved, and we couldn't get close enough to him to bring out the hook. But at least it wasn't televised.
Hee,heee,heee.
Embarassment is the sin that children visit on parents for 2 generations...