Mr. Finley, left, and Mr. McGee.
Posted on 11/21/2005 2:33:54 AM PST by NYer
Mr. Finley, left, and Mr. McGee.
WHEN informed of their son's decision to take up with Carl Stanley McGee, a lawyer from Alabama, the family of John Huston Finley IV, a Bostonian, was dismayed, but not about the fact he was in a serious relationship with another man.
"My parents were far more upset that Stan was a Hilary Clinton-supporting Democrat than they were about us," Mr. Finley said. "I remember them asking Stan a lot of 'coming out' type questions: 'Maybe you didn't have a good Republican experience? Have you told your parents how you feel?' "
They were introduced by a mutual friend nearly 10 years ago. "Our first date was at a monastery," said Mr. McGee, who is 36 and known as Stan, recalling their meeting at a service at the Society of St. John the Evangelist in Cambridge, Mass.
"Stan thought it was a very bizarre gay date, but we were both interested in theology," said Mr. Finley, now 35 and a candidate for ordination in the Episcopal Church. "When the monk came by with the holy water I saw Stan take what I assumed was a deep and profoundly pious bow. Later I realized it was because he was wearing a suede waistcoat which he didn't want to get stained."
The affably preppy Mr. Finley, who is also the founder and the director of the Epiphany School, a private, tuition-free middle school in Boston for children of poor families, has a classic New England pedigree, which includes a degree from Harvard, where his grandfather was a master of Eliot House. His family, he said, was staunchly Republican "until the second Bush administration."
The bespectacled Mr. McGee is a Harvard Law School graduate and a former Rhodes scholar who now works as a junior partner in the Boston offices of WilmerHale. He has a serious mien, a booming drawl and a shock of prematurely white hair. His passion for Democratic politics is rooted in the Deep South, and he has long been interested in the "pernicious connection" between church and state, he said.
"John had more of a sense of faith being a positive force," Mr. McGee said. Yet, of the two, he says Mr. Finley "is more impetuous, more Gestalt, more big picture." He added, "We're more yin-yang, more complementary, than opposites. John's all sugar and I'm all lemon zest."
Religion, the Constitution and confectionery ingredients notwithstanding, the day after their first date Mr. McGee sent Mr. Finley a dozen red roses; Mr. Finley sent Mr. McGee two dozen.
A month later, while driving down Storrow Drive in Cambridge, they first spoke of their feelings for each other. "It felt right from the very beginning," Mr. Finley said. "The affection I felt radiated back to me." Mr. McGee agreed: "There was a sense of completeness I felt with John that I'd never experienced before."
Eventually their relationship came to include a weekly visit with the Finley family in Brookline. "Stan's mother had dinner at our house once," recalled Mr. Finley, who, unlike Mr. McGee, had revealed his leanings to his family at age 13. "Everyone but her knew at that point that Stan was gay. When we walked into the dining room where a portrait of my grandmother hangs, she turned to me and said: 'Your grandmother is very beautiful.' I said, 'With a fur and pearls I could look just as beautiful.' From behind the bar came a crash; Stan had dropped a tray of oysters."
Politics aside, both families were never anything but fully accepting of the relationship, Mr. Finley and Mr. McGee both said. "My mother was the first of her circle to send out a Christmas card with a gay partner included," Mr. Finley said.
In time they were sharing an apartment in Boston and making plans to wed under Massachusetts law.
"Stan and John are deeply conservative and old fashioned and traditional in every way," said Jennifer Bradley, a college friend of Mr. McGee's. So a civil marriage ceremony paired with a religious service was planned at the Church of the Redeemer in Chestnut Hill, the Episcopal parish where Mr. Finley's family are longtime members.
On Nov. 12, their wedding day, the couple greeted guests in front of the church. Friends and family watched from candlelit pews as Mr. Finley and Mr. McGee walked down the aisle holding hands.
State Senator Jarrett T. Barrios, who received permission from the state to officiate, led the civil ceremony, pronouncing to thunderous applause that the couple were "fully and legally married." The Right Rev. M. Thomas Shaw, the bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts, then presided over the Eucharist.
That the couple decided on a wedding in the classic mold came as no surprise to those who know them. Neither did the black-tie reception at the Brandegee House, an estate they had rented in Brookline. After a dinner for 250 in an elaborately decorated and heated tent on the grounds, guests filed into the mansion's ballroom, and danced as a 14-piece orchestra played swing.
Somehow everything old seemed new again. As Ms. Bradley said of the marriage, "Seeing people who have been locked out of it makes you appreciate it more."
Yeah, like putting lipstick on a pig.
(Barf alert!!!)
If you want on/off the ping list let me and little jeremiah know.
LOL not to mention, nothing conservative OR traditional about living a homosexual lifestyle, never mind homosexual marriage. NOTHING!
NYT has just alienated even more readers, nice job their guys!
All I can say is the whole article celebrates homosexuals, while bashing Republicans, major hurl!!
I know what you mean but my response was that since his does not possess valid Holy Orders, he is not presiding over anything but wafers and wine. The was no Real Presence in what he "presided" over.
I read the whole article...now my hair is standing on end with repulsion.
It almost could be the Onion.
Oh, how adorable. < /sarc>
I see, and in that you are absolutely right!
And
We from MA are such a joke. What a state...
Its like reading stories about mentally ill folks written by mentally ill folks.
Sometimes I just feel as though the world has become a giant insane asylum. That's why I don't have a TV. News from FR, guitar and books for entertainment.
:-)
You are one class act. I'm sure your mother is so proud. Such a christian attitude.
(pathetic)
Did my comment hit close to home?
BTW, welcome to FR.
Update!
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2008/02/07/key_aide_to_patrick_accused_of_sex_assault/
Top Aide to Mass. Governor Charged With Sexually Assaulting Boy
Thursday , February 07, 2008
A top official in Gov. Deval Patrick's administration is accused of sexually assaulting a boy in the steam room of a Florida resort and has been placed on unpaid leave.
Carl Stanley McGee, the assistant secretary for policy and planning, was arrested Dec. 28 after the suspected assault at the Gasparilla Inn and Club in Boca Grande, according to the Lee County Sheriff's Office.
McGee, 38, met the boy, who police said is between 12 and 16 years old, in a bathroom at the resort a day earlier where they engaged in small talk, according to the police report.
The boy told police he ran into McGee again the next day in the resort's steam room. McGee sat next to him, removed his towel, rubbed the boy's back and shoulders and performed oral sex on him, according to the police report.
McGee, who made $115,000 as a state employee, worked at Boston law firms before joining the administration. His marriage to John Finley IV in November 2005 was featured in The New York Times' Vows column.
Thank you both for the pings and info. That story deserves to be posted to the forum with a link to this.
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