Things only people from the South know

8-27-03 | Unkown

[WKB]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you pitch one and have the other.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. <> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you to death.

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened, "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway? You say, "Bless her heart" and go on your way.

[des]

As a nursing student at the Greenville Public Health Dept.(ETSU) I just about freaked when a mountain lady proudly told me she didn't allow her child to "have no dope". I learned it came from the time when Coca-Cola REALLY had cocaine in it, and it became a moral/spiritual issue for some folks.

[sweetliberty]

"It was all about ice tea, sweet or un-sweet"

Memories steeped in sweet tea

[des]

G.R.I.T.S.--GIRLS RAISED IN THE SOUTH.

[sweetliberty]

"(some people berl, others bile)"

And some ball.

[TexasCowboy]

Boy, I knew a bunch of the old Delta hands that worked out of Victoria!
I've been a drilling consultant for thirty-one years.
I've had a lot of Delta rigs in the past.
That was a good company at one time until the turn-key business ate their lunch.

That 23,500 footer was probably out at Ft. Stockton.
The Ellenberger comes in from 22,500' to 24,500'.
That used to be good work. It would take us over a year to drill them.
When I left the Permian Basin they had trimmed the drilling days down to about six months.

[DocRock]

I'm a Kentucky hillbilly and my sister raises mule teams for a hobby. She and her husband bought a team of southern mules, Tom and Jerry. When called, Tom would "come a run'n", but Jerry just kept munch'n grass. They called the owner in Mississippi to make sure they got the right mules and he said that "Jay-ur-eeee" always came when called, so they went outside and yelled "Jay-ur-eee" and sho nuff, his ears perked up and he came a run'n! :) A southern mule!

[sweetliberty]

"My grandmother's name is Willa Bell."

Mine's was Julia May. My stepmother (now deceased) was Willa Dean. My sister is Vickie Lynn. I only ever got called by one name, but it was my middle and not my first.

[WKB]

Boy, I knew a bunch of the old Delta hands that worked out of Victoria

Did you know a big fat coona** named Bozo Dupree?

[des]

If a woman calls you a heifer, ma'am, you have truly been insulted.

[TexasCowboy]

Bozo Dupree?
Well, I worked South Louisiana for a bunch of years, and the name of Dupree is pretty common down there.
It sounds familiar, but I don't know for sure.

[WKB]

It sounds familiar, but I don't know for sure

Trust me you would remember Bozo!!

[ConservaChick]

A big West Virginia southern girl Amen!
(if G-d didn't want green beans cooked with ham for hours why did he make them so good that way?) ;)

[cajungirl]

Jimmy Swaggart, Mickey Gilley and Jerry Lee Lewis are all from feriday Louisiana hometown of that news anchor Howard K Smith. I used to date a boy from there,,forty odd years ago. I cannot believe I missed this thread. Did anyones grandparents ever say "fetch me that pipe",,mine did. They had all kinds of odd sayings. And my father "carried" my mom to the store alot. And contrary to popular notions, I ate grits with sugar and butter as a kid, loved them. And my grandmother had ice delivered for the ice box,,we still call the frig the ice box to this day. And tomatoes on toasted white bread with mayonaise is God's gift to man. Along with tuna fish salad, biscuits, fried catfish, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and banana puddin'. And lemon meringue pie and chess pie. And homemade icecream and homemade strawberry shortcake, the biscuity kind not that disgusting stuff from the supermarket.

[WKB]

No mention of cajun food?? Interesting

[WaterDragon]

Thanks! Then I'm going back to read it ALL. I love watermelon, with or without salt.

[blam]

"I thought it was Lowell, Alabama, based on the words in a James Brown song. Maybe he meant Lower Alabama."

Sorry, don't know about that.

[TexasCowboy]

"Trust me you would remember Bozo!!"

Yeah, there used to be a lot of those old time characters in the oil patch.
Seems like they've all just about disappeared now.

There's a lot of guys pushing tools now that I wouldn't have hired to work lead tongs when I was drilling, and there's a few drilling superintendents that have never drilled.
It's a different patch than it used to be.
We're not so concerned about getting the job done anymore as we are about someone getting a hangnail.
Safety programs have taken over the major oil companies and the big drilling companies.
If I were a young man now, I wouldn't get into it.
It's no fun anymore.

[cajungirl]

I am in Louisiana but am not cajun,,just like the name. My background is the classic anglo saxon southerner from the 1700's living in Louisiana before it was a part of the US. Farmers kind of people till three generations ago. And South Louisiana is not really a part of the US in my mind,,it is the northern Caribbean if you ask me. I never ate cajun food till I was grown up,,my mother had disdain for gumbo and that kind of thing. Altho we did eat red beans a rice with sausage. She never spiced things up. We were more like Mississippians or Alabamans in that respect.

[WKB]

Dittos to everything

and don't forget we've to to protect the enviroment!!

[TexasCowboy]

"No mention of cajun food?? Interesting"

I thought so, too, cajungirl!

What about sauce picante, crawfish ettoufee and gumbo?
Or did you grow up north of I-10?