Things only people from the South know

8-27-03 | Unkown

[WKB]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you pitch one and have the other.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. <> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you to death.

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened, "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway? You say, "Bless her heart" and go on your way.

[yarddog]

Crestview and DeFuniak Springs. The twin megalopolises of the Panhandle.

I grew up in DeFuniak and there was a large Coca Cola bottling plant. People claimed it was due to the great water in the town.

I used to see "DeFuniak Springs" on the bottom of coke bottles all over the South.

[Incorrigible]

The name's not Bubba, but I've pulled people out of ditches numerous times. That's why you drive a truck/4x4.

Glad to meet you "not Bubba"!  :-)

That pickup truck line is usually included in these "all things Southern" threads somewhere.

Funny thing is, it actually happened to me.  Well, I was in Wisconsin at the time but it could've been Alabama!

[Teacher317]

I've only seen moon pies in the vending machine at work, and then only once in a while.

Don't you mean by and by? ;^)

[MozarkDawg]

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

I'm from California, have only *been from the South* since marrying Dawg, moving here in 2001. I hve found this particular friendliness true, not only in a line, but even in the waiting room at the doctor's office! Southern is as Southern does! :)

[bankwalker]

Only people from the South know what a bankwalker is.

[yarddog]

I must confess that I have never heard the term "bankwalker" although I would guess it refers to fishing.

[stand watie]

any southron KNOWS that "i'm fixin to" means in the next year or two.or next decade!

as in "honey, i'm fixin to mow the lawn".

free dixie,sw

[WKB]

I was wondering when you would show up here. :>)

[putupon]

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Only a true Southener knows "'bout half" is about synonymous with that one, just a notch or two lower.

[BSunday]

True Southerners know that the finest Southern gentleman to ever draw breath was General Robert E. Lee.

And after that, Stonewall Jackson

[BSunday]

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.

I beg to differ. A true Southerner would know that none of those things can possibly be measured "exactly". that's the whole reason for using the terms.

[DeFault User]

My late grandma (Mississippi born and raised) ate salt on her watermelon. I (a native Texan) prefer mine without.

Ditto on the salt on the watermelon. I think it brings out the sweetness/flavor better. Do you eat your cantalopes with pepper? Good Pecos cantalopes. I haven't seen many outside Texas who put pepper on them, but it's good.

[TexasCowboy]

"Ever had Mehaw jelly or Muskidine wine?"

I think Mehaw jelly might be restricted to East Texas. I've never seen it elsewhere.
Muskadine wine, of course, is popular in a lot of Texas.
It comes from the wild Mustang grapes that grow on creek bottoms and along river banks.
The grapes themselves are almost unedible because of the acid in the skin, but they make mighty fine wine.

[putupon]

A Southerner know what hush puppies are for

I worked with a guy from somewhere in Georgia once who thought anyone who used the term "hush puppie" was a Yankee. They called them "corn dodgers" where he was from. He, his wife and all 4 kids lived in a trailer (single wide); the Missus made the best corn dodgers I ever et (in the deep fryer), so I figger he knowed whut he were talkin' 'bout.

[TexasCowboy]

"Good Pecos cantalopes."

There are only two really good cantaloupes in the world - those from Pecos and those from Presidio.
Both better with a little bit of black pepper....

[KC_for_Freedom]

And a TRUE Southerner gives directions like this, 'Drive a fer piece down the road, keep going past my cousin Billy Bob's house [insert lengthy discussion of Billy Bob, his family, their relations etc], then turn left just past where the old Wilkes place USED to be, ...'

This is especially true after you say, "I am a newcomer in these here parts, can you tell how to get to the lake?"

[TexasCowboy]

"They called them "corn dodgers" where he was from."

They used the term, "corn dodgers", in the movie, "True Grit", and I've seen that in a lot of Western novels.
I think that term was more Western and, "hush puppies", are more Southern.

[putupon]

He would call these birds "pond scoggins" also

and claimed they would eat them back where he were from.

[WKB]

A true man of the south knows where and what the disaster is
"becasue he follows the amamlance and the far-truck to see what's going on!!

[Doctor Notes]

I Reckon there's lots of things folks not from around here are missing out on. Down here in rural South Mississippi, funerals at the house with family sitting up with the dead are still common, as is the family getting together to dig the grave with the shovel and Uncle Lavon taking the extra dirt to fix his drive after covering the box.

Fried "chicken mushrooms" (grow on the bottom of trees) and Muscadine or Mayhaw jelly with whop biscuits (only in an emergency) compliment the poke salad. And you can't eat greens, black-eyed peas or poot beans unless they're over cornbread and have some pepper sauce on them.

We eat potted meat and egg sandwiches, and know that the only real way to eat oatmeal is with oil sausages.

As for language, look over Yonder is still pretty common, but take a gander at this ain't out of style yet either. We holler at one another on the phone, and mamma's tell their sons to truck-it after some firewood.

Weather wise it's either hotter'n 4 hells (dunno why there's 4 of 'em), cold as a wedge, come a storm, bone dry, dry as a coon's mouth (no saliva glands, I hear -- they wash all their food), a mite breezy or blowin like there's no tomorrow.

Where I live, you don't say the blessing or grace, you ask it -- because you know who's in charge.

We have a handful of fictional folks around here to whom we compare things -- Dick (that nut was tighter'n Dick's hatband) and Cooter Brown (he was Drunker'n Cooter Brown)are a couple of examples.

The double name is common, and even if it doesn't sound right to you, it does to us.... Aunt Curly Joyce, Annie Pearl and Elsie Dorilla went to the store. Dorilla is actually pronounced Doriller just like Lena is pronounced Leaner. There's a small chanch that when you take your car out from under the car porch and go to the grocery store that you will run into your cousin Eddard Earl while getting your buggy.

My Maamaw always put the groceries in the "turtle hull" when she left the grocery store, and papaw would help her take 'em in when she got home.

A few other secrets --

Panty hose and catfish food makes the best bait for a catfish pond... you can catch dozens if you tie that food up right. If you aren't catfishing in a catfish pond, but down at the creek, you can go ahead and gut the first one you catch on chicken liver and use his heart or liver for bait. You'll catch catfish all day.

Never hunt the same drive the same way twice. If you started up top last time, start at the bottom next time. Put in from somewhere different every time and the dogs will be fresher. Dog hunting is exactly what it sounds like (hunting dogs). Usually one drive is it.

If you want to train coon dogs, you'll have to learn to Squall them out of the tree like my papaw did. You can't shoot 'em down. I never could squall, and if I could, I'm not sure I could've caught the coon in that croaker sack like papaw.

Never mess with a freshly descented skunk kitten.