Things only people from the South know

8-27-03 | Unkown

[WKB]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you pitch one and have the other.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. <> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you to death.

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened, "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway? You say, "Bless her heart" and go on your way.

[martin_fierro]

Huh? What're these Jagoffs talkin' 'baht?

[dixiechick2000]

Mississippi ping!

Thanks!

[Incorrigible]

Huh?  What about the four guys named Bubba in the pickup truck that show up shortly after you drive your rental car into a ditch and winch you out and refuse any compensation?

[Revolting cat!]

A true Southerner knows the secret that there is chicken in a chicken fried steak!

[Oorang]

How 'bout "carry", as in, "My son is commin over to carry me to town".

[cyborg]

sothron gentlemen PING

[ladysusan]

How about "ol' boy" as in "that ol' boy"....

[Corin Stormhands]

Southern ping.

[billbears]

bump

[Alberta's Child]

A true Southerner knows that after Jesus Christ, the greatest men in human history are Junior Johnson and Richard Petty.

[starxmtn]

A true Southerner knows you can not cook the green beans too long.

[mhking]

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

I guess, after nine years, I've finally arrived. [g]

Grits ain't a good measure - I grew up with a pot of 'em on the stove most days, and I fix a pretty mean pot of cheese grits myself.

[billbears]

What're you doing putting cheese in grits?!? You're just supposed to put a slab of butter and a little salt in them :)

[JoeFromCA]

A true Southerner knows what polk salad is, how the word polk is pronounced ("poke") and where polk greens thrive best (in the barnyard; it's the only thing the cows won't eat).

My mama used to make the best polk salad in the county.

[Gianni]

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them

But that doesn't mean they do.

[South Dakota]

I'm from the south,South Dakota

[JoeFromCA]

I never even heard of putting cheese in grits.

[janetgreen]

Reminds me of my aunt from Arkansas. She was visiting us in the '50s, we lived in a California beach town. We were walking down the street, she stuck her head into a burger place and asked for all to hear "y'all got any chili?". It was so cute, but I, being a California beach teen at the time, slunk around the corner...

[RebelBanker]

Sorry, but I must beg to differ. True Southerners know that the finest Southern gentleman to ever draw breath was General Robert E. Lee.

Your Humble Servant,
Reb