Things only people from the South know

8-27-03 | Unkown

[WKB]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you pitch one and have the other.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, Turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a mess.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. <> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

A true Southerner knows how to understand Southern a booger can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!") or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you to death.

True Southerners make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; that fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.

When you ask someone how they're doing and they reply, " Fair to middlin.", you know you're in the presence of a genuine Southerner.

Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened, "sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 on the freeway? You say, "Bless her heart" and go on your way.

[JoeFromCA]

A true Southerner's best friend is named Cooter (his real name, not a nickname).

(I'll stop now, although I could go on).

[gitmo]

A Southerner knows that when you're feelin puny you oughta stay home.

A Southerner knows you oughta slow down when the roads crookeder 'n a dog's hind leg.

A Southerner know what hush puppies are for.

[knak]

with bacon too......... and cornbread is cooked in a cast iron skillet!

[glock rocks]

yep. and one passes a frisbee, and mashes a key to continue.

[WKB]

How about "ol' boy" as in "that ol' boy"....

There is vast difference between "that ole boy"
and "good ole boy"

[knak]

I went to the store once here in alaska and asked for some frozen hush puppies and they sent me to the produce department after lookin' at me like I was crazy!

[WKB]

A Southerner knows you oughta slow down when the roads crookeder 'n a dog's hind leg.

or when you meet yourself in the curve

[Oorang]

"sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk

My grandmother, Mamie, after supper would always ask "You want some cream, shug?" Cream always meant ice cream. Another southernism.

And, there is no such thing as lunch. Its breakfast, dinner, then supper.

[deadhead]

Southern gal ping

[CindyDawg]

We don't use miles but time. "about 20 minutes from here" etc

[Oorang]

(I'll stop now, although I could go on).

Oh please, do tell.

[CindyDawg]

thought Mack might get a laugh from this if he hasn't already seen it.

[codger]

It ain't polk salad.

It's poke sallet.

[WKB]

"about 20 minutes from here" etc

Like "it takes about 20 minutes to get to momma-an-nems"

[Terry Mross]

I hate to tell you this but it's not spelled "salad". Didn't you ever hear Tony Joe White sing "Polk Salit Annie"? Or maybe it's "salet" but it ain't "salad".

[yarddog]

My dear old Mother was born right on the line between Alabama and Florida.

She hardly ever said that it rained, instead She would say "it came up a cloud"

She could cook those little white peas, fried okra, and cornbread so that it was better than any food I have ever eaten except maybe lobster. I once asked the secret to her delicious corn bread which she cooked in a skillet and it turns out it was nothing but cornmeal, water and salt.

When I lived in Kansas, people were constantly asking if I was from Texas due to my accent. The answer was no, Florida.

[The Clemson Tiger]

I can remember being down at Myrtle Beach and tellin' them Yankee girls my family owned the largest grits plantation in the South.

[Oorang]

Why, I am the proud owner of my grandmothers cast iron griddle and her biscuit tray her daddy carved for her when she was getting married (1902).

[aruanan]

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Now, is that "directly" like the "ahorita" of the Dominican Republic or Mexico, as in "Tenemos que hacerlo ahorita" ?

[CindyDawg]

just watch for the POLL-LEASE as you go round that first curve.