Legal Tragedy for Unemployed Divorced Men & Fathers

[ImFightingMad]

I am writing this to make this Legal Tragedy better known and also in hope that someone could help the thousands of us in this tragic situation.

Like many Americans at this time, I have been laid off. This in itself is bad enough for most Americans, but those of us that have been divorced face a Legal Tragedy that is against The Constitution and all moral concepts. Men are almost exclusively affected by what I am about to tell you. This shows the discrimination of the courts and the laws in this country.

Since I have been laid off, I am only “earning” unemployment insurance, which is only 16.6% of my previous gross income. I therefore cannot pay the alimony and child support that the courts ordered in my divorce in Florida. I do not even have enough money for my own expenses. The courts in Florida are looking at finding me in contempt of court because of non-payment. They would therefore put me in jail along with countless others for the same reason. This makes no legal or moral sense in many ways:

1. If I was still married and got laid off, would the courts care, of course not! The family would have to do what they could to survive. But, since I have been divorced, and there is no relationship anymore, I’m supposed to support them over supporting myself, otherwise go to jail. How does this make any logical, moral or legal sense? Why is it that since I am divorced I have a greater financial responsibility than I ever did when I was married? Why should all of my rights be taken away because I am unemployed now, and yet my ex-wife is suppose to maintain the same or better lifestyle as when I was employed? This again, would not be the case if I were still married. This shows that divorce laws take precedence over basic human rights and are stronger laws than marriage itself, which is a bond with God.

2. If I’m in jail, how am I supposed to find a job? After being in jail, it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to ever find a good job again!

3. This type of incarceration was abolished with the 13th Amendment. Which prohibits Involuntary Servitude. Also 8 USCA-56 prohibits Peonage.

Why should my life and other’s be completely destroyed just because we were ever married and now unemployed?

Isn’t the fact that I, and many others have lost our jobs enough of a tragedy in itself? How does completely destroying the rest of our lives solve anything? In this situation, what could any of us ever do to help ourselves?

I was extremely involved in the 2000 Presidential election, supporting George Bush. I lived and worked in Austin, Texas, but I was still a registered voter in Florida. The government and country that I so dearly loved and put so much energy into, has now let me down.

Please Help!

[mlmr]

Now THAT is a pig.

[null and void]

I am just asking how is it 'contempt' for a person to be unable to do the impossible?

Well duh! The Court ordered it. That makes it possible!!!

[cpdiii]

There is another inequity that was not mentioned. The courts know those that have never worked will not work and they deal with them much less harshly than an unemployed professional.

BRAVE NEW WORLD

[StriperSniper]

They search everyone on the way into the family law court building here.

They tend to be the most heavily armored departments in Jersey also. I think it is Essex County(the one with Newark) has at the clerks window Lexan so thick(about 4" - 6") it is almost hard to see through. ;-)

[mlmr]

In many cases?? Boy I dont see that. Child support for man making 30K in Maine for one child is almlost 100 dollars a month. I only see alimony or large child support payments given to families who have had substantial income, and often where wife number one has in many cases put the husband through professional school...This is after he has found the trohpy....

[wardaddy]

Easy for you to say.

I'd like to see you have to grovel like we do for simple visits etc.
...no actually I don't wish that on anyone.

I used to feel like you do have a reasonable and decent mother and grandmas....but todays spoiledass women...no way!

[Lord_Baltar]

Thank you sinkspur!

I've found myself lately trying to help other couples see the wisdom is staying together and fighting for their marriaqes.

That started when I met a "Married Woman" who spent her time telling me what an utter bastard her Spouce was.

I just told her all the things I had wished someone had told my Ex, and refused to allow her to place all the blame on him. She'd say things like "I wish he'd do (blank)" When I asked her "Well, did you ASK him to do (blank)" The answer was always the same "Well, no, but I shouldn't have to ask, if he Loves me, he should just know". Lord, if I had a dime for everytime I heard that Moronic statement out of a woman's mouth, I'd be rolling in all the dimes in this country.

Last I heard from her, she and her "utter bastard" have had a "re-awakening" and are doing much better.

I guess, for me, I feel a little better about what I went through, when I know I can help someone else from experiencing it first hand.

[StatesEnemy]

No, men should not pay more. Most mothers work caring for the child counts as provision too. Or do you think that the work of mothering is to menial or worthless to have a financial value attached

Not at all... but you seem to think that a man is just a paycheck to fund 'motherly love'.

The idea that children belong more to the women, simply because she served as a gestation chamber is what makes you a sexist.

[null and void]

At last count over the past 10 years I have known 4 professional men to stop work completely and another 6 to downsize their work or change jobs to petition the courts for lower payments.

That's just plain wrong. These are not men.

[quant5]

I bet we could conduct a marketing intelligence report of all health care women who:

1) Cheat on the husbands or spouse then divorce
2) Go on welfare and child support
3) Never give a dime of the child support to their kids
3) Are completely mad

My ex is all of these things and the 70% non-custodian who never paid support. Her answer? Lie to the system about "threatening" which is Domestic Violence and get the kid back so you can get paid!!!

[moondancer]

PHEW!
it really is all the libs fault. what most ppl dont realize is there is a two headed coin to this liberal mind set. one is NOW who screw the men and the other is the same likemindeness i talked about in my previous post against women.
ive seen both ends in my divorce and its not right for iether. our evaluator was from the mans liberal movement. all the physical ect abuse i endured from my x was my fault and our sons fault too. total madness. i think your right in that we fight them, reveal them...its what my attny is trying to do now, but i may wind up bankrupt before the judge gets with the program! even thou every motion has been filed by my x, i cant file one, i have tao keep being on the defensive because otherwise the courts will only view it as two parents fighting. makes alot of sense huh? maybe we should start a conservitive group that works for all good parents, a united force is always stronger:)

[mlmr]

Children need access to their fathers. More than one father I have known has dumped the emotional care of their child after the trophy. But many men are emotionally connected with their children and vice versa.

[familyop]

"There is another inequity that was not mentioned. The courts know those that have never worked will not work and they deal with them much less harshly than an unemployed professional.
BRAVE NEW WORLD"

This is true! I've gone to court (not as a lawyer, though)
with many men and have seen those outcomes many times.
They'll take as much as a man has, up to a little over
$100,000, last I watched. Only the very, very wealthy
men seem to enjoy the situation, as they pay their
harems off, fair and square.

[mlmr]

No dear, not sexist, just simple biology. Women are not only "gestation chambers" but often provide the nourshment and bonding and care for the first years.

[wardaddy]

Bull crap.

Unless Maine is prehistoric.

Child support for a man making 40K per year in Florida for one child is 781/month.


No way is child support in Maine for a guy making 30K only 100/month for one child.

I want to see proof.


I pay 4K/month for two children based on FL guidelines....probably 30-40% of my post tax income.

My ex is married to a guy who makes 1M per year in a bad year. My paltry 4K a month is just more Prada for her and maybe Bebe or A&F for the girls. It's a veritable joke.

There needs to be more Solomonic wisdom in family court dispensation rather than simply statute adherence.

[moondancer]

to all: just curious...how many men and how many women do we have posting here?

[GGpaX4DumpedTea]

"You should have kept your pants on."

A really stupid comment. He was married, we are not talking about a shackup. Really some kind of a freaky reply, IMHO!

[mlmr]

Unfortunately they are men and sadly, they are fathers. I have watched the children in these families grow into teenagers who learned that their fathers were so self centered that the children didn't count.

Certainly not all fathers, but certaily more than I expected.

[familyop]

"No dear, not sexist, just simple biology. Women are not only "gestation chambers" but often provide the nourshment and bonding and care for the first years.

But the Tender Years Doctrine came from a bunch of man
hating, ranting, socialist "free love" chicks who used
and abused other organizations to get what they wanted
from their coveted "Age of Romanticism," (time of
Hawthorne's evil "Scarlet Letter" trash) onward.

Before that, true conservatives were for father custody for
several thousand wise years.

Prepare to go "back to the future," and enjoy the ride,
because it's going to happen.

[mlmr]

But they are YOUR children aren't they. You do have an responsiblilty to support themm no matter what their circumstances are. Does it really matter what her husband makes? YOur have your responsiblility.