Legal Tragedy for Unemployed Divorced Men & Fathers

[ImFightingMad]

I am writing this to make this Legal Tragedy better known and also in hope that someone could help the thousands of us in this tragic situation.

Like many Americans at this time, I have been laid off. This in itself is bad enough for most Americans, but those of us that have been divorced face a Legal Tragedy that is against The Constitution and all moral concepts. Men are almost exclusively affected by what I am about to tell you. This shows the discrimination of the courts and the laws in this country.

Since I have been laid off, I am only “earning” unemployment insurance, which is only 16.6% of my previous gross income. I therefore cannot pay the alimony and child support that the courts ordered in my divorce in Florida. I do not even have enough money for my own expenses. The courts in Florida are looking at finding me in contempt of court because of non-payment. They would therefore put me in jail along with countless others for the same reason. This makes no legal or moral sense in many ways:

1. If I was still married and got laid off, would the courts care, of course not! The family would have to do what they could to survive. But, since I have been divorced, and there is no relationship anymore, I’m supposed to support them over supporting myself, otherwise go to jail. How does this make any logical, moral or legal sense? Why is it that since I am divorced I have a greater financial responsibility than I ever did when I was married? Why should all of my rights be taken away because I am unemployed now, and yet my ex-wife is suppose to maintain the same or better lifestyle as when I was employed? This again, would not be the case if I were still married. This shows that divorce laws take precedence over basic human rights and are stronger laws than marriage itself, which is a bond with God.

2. If I’m in jail, how am I supposed to find a job? After being in jail, it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to ever find a good job again!

3. This type of incarceration was abolished with the 13th Amendment. Which prohibits Involuntary Servitude. Also 8 USCA-56 prohibits Peonage.

Why should my life and other’s be completely destroyed just because we were ever married and now unemployed?

Isn’t the fact that I, and many others have lost our jobs enough of a tragedy in itself? How does completely destroying the rest of our lives solve anything? In this situation, what could any of us ever do to help ourselves?

I was extremely involved in the 2000 Presidential election, supporting George Bush. I lived and worked in Austin, Texas, but I was still a registered voter in Florida. The government and country that I so dearly loved and put so much energy into, has now let me down.

Please Help!

[shaggy eel]

I travel, I date, I read, I learn, I post, I think, I hunt, I fish, I ride, I hike, I kayak, I splurge, I save, I cook, I ENJOY.

,,, I give the best I can - and we are thankful for each other.

[familyop]

"Hang on for a tick. These are married -- and divorced -- men. Are you saying men should avoid marriage and the creation of children inside the institution of marriage at all costs?"

Men are stupid to get married or to have anything to do with
women. False accusations or poverty are all that are needed
to imprison these men (federal), thanks to our socialist
Republican and Democrat politicians who passed Hitlery's
laws (VAWA, Child Support Act, etc.).

Those laws are unconstitutional (debtors' prisons,
imprisonment for no more than accusations,...).

[StatesEnemy]

I give the best I can - and we are thankful for each other.

More power to ya.

But you are acting like a moron if you think your's is the norm.

[spunkets]

"are they rats?"

Probably, it's WA. Only in scattered rural areas will you find Rep judges. I don't know if they're elected, or appointed out there. If they're appointed, they're probably all rats, because "merit" requires the correct worldview.

"how do we fix this problem with judges?"

The State legislature. It's WA though, so it will be tough.

The general set of decision rules drawn up was motivated to speed cases through the courts w/o the judges having to think and the lawyers to do work. They just automated the process, so they would have to trouble themselves over such things as fact, fairness, responsibility ect...

" im fighting for all the stuff he is trying to sneak in"

?

[null and void]

His ex-wife, meanwhile, was spending it on taking guys she met on the internet to Vegas. The kids never saw a dime of it.

Under California law you can NOT insure that so much as 1¢ of child support actually gets to the child. Absolutely NO provision for even asking the custodial spouse to show the kids are being cared for.

Short of actually starving them and chaining them to a wall, what ever she does with them is A-OK with the court.

[familyop]

"Think of this whole episode as a "learning experience." Pick yourself up off the floor, quit balling about the Courts,..."

Prepare yourself for socialism under Hillary, because if we
(millions of cheated dads) keep seeing that kind of talk,
we will drop the vote this time.

...your choice--us or the socialist feminazis who've made
puppets out of most of our Republican leaders (as they
already have the Dems). One or the other will go. Us
or or the N.O.W. gals. We won't keep supporting any
party that is destroying marriage by enforcing the rule
of wymen over husbands.

[ImFightingMad]

"If you were still married and the kids were still around, you wouldn't sit on your heiney for 26 weeks drawing insufficient income. You just want enough for your own needs, not your dependents. When the little hungry faces live across the state or country, it's so much easier to ignore them."

What a stupid remark! If you had read the entire post you would see that I shouldn't even be paying child support! If you haven't noticed, there is a recession and a large loss of high tech jobs! I could find a job @ 50% of my old income without much of a problem! But without relief from the court, I could never pay $2000/month out of that and have ANYTHING for me to live on!

Take you head out of the sand and wake-up!

[moondancer]

it works both ways. this seems like a heated thread...i dont think the problem is no fault divorce (then you just have more lying and more fighting about whose at fault) and its not always because the woman is a witch or the dad a jerk, its the judges and it all depends on the judge you get. deadbeat dads make it difficult for the good dads, alinating mothers make it tough for good moms. depending on what a judge sees the most of. if he sees alienating mothers day and day out hes going to see the good mom in that same light, same with if he sees dead beat dads all day...the good guy is going to get the shaft. the question is how do we fix the judges or how do we expose the parents that are making it hard for everyone else?

[yhwhsman]

I knew a guy who made himself grotesquely obese so a doctor would call him disabled, just to he wouldn't have to pay child support. A real scumbag.

Yhwhsman

[shaggy eel]

But you are acting like a moron if you think your's is the norm.

,,, I'm under no illusions. Sadly, you're quite right. My past made me vow to myself that I'd be forever alone rather than settle for mediocre. I remarried in February 2002. Plenty of experience in the negative between 1994 and the time I met my new wife though.

[BADROTOFINGER]

No the losers are the ones that get saddled with child support when 'sweet potato' gets bored....

Man do you ever have that right. The indecisivness of many women coupled with the tendancy to use emotion more than logic in their thinking is any mans worst nightmare.

I pride myself on being an honest, hard-working, and responsible man. Exactly the kind of person that 'sweet potato' would get bored with. Of course, not bored enough to do without my money.

I know Ill get flamed for that, but I dont really care. I have seen way too often when a guy gets hosed by a 'bored' girl, and only seen it the other way around once...JFK

[familyop]

"There are plenty of 'sex b4 marriage' women to enjoy - risk free!"

That's right--same old, Soviet policies installed by both
of our socialist parties in the US.

And we're tired of hearing a bunch of so-called
conservative men in the media who are nothing more than
leching, dirty old creeps pandering to a nation of women
who diddle whatever they please before they seek husbands.

Repeal the VAWA and the Child Support Act (debtors' prisons)
or be stubborn until we repeal the 19th and have witch
trials.

[null and void]

I've never heard of a "split tail" either, but I'm ok with being one since it apparently means "someone who makes sense".

Sense apparently meaning, in this case, anyone who will not be satified until a man she USED to profess her love for, is dressed in rags, living under a bridge, and eating rats...

[moondancer]

they are elected in washington, atleast in this county. the commissioner we deal with has been elected to the bench for 20 years (judicial nominees and all that) i just looked him up on the net and apparently he was involved in a peta case, sided with them. im doomed!
all the stuff hes trying to sneak in?? he files motions about one thing then tries to modify other parts under the guise of something else. im not fighting for him not to get his reductin, but to keep a counselor in place and protect my privacy ect.

[farmfriend]

ping

[meyer]

Re #59, Amen Bro!

[null and void]

If my life is destroyed anyways by the courts, why live. :-(

There's always revenge...

[moondancer]

LOL

[StatesEnemy]

My past made me vow to myself that I'd be forever alone rather than settle for mediocre.

So why ya bitchin at me then?

I simply refuse to be hogtied by a woman who resembles a shrew.

And that seems to be most of 'em, after the 'la-la' stage.

[sinkspur]

If you were still married and the kids were still around, you wouldn't sit on your heiney for 26 weeks drawing insufficient income. You just want enough for your own needs, not your dependents. When the little hungry faces live across the state or country, it's so much easier to ignore them.

You obviously haven't read the thread, so I'll be nice to you. Read the thread, then comment. IFM is doing all he can, it seems.

Folks, this is the first time I've commented on one of these threads, and I've been around here for five years. I've read lots of them, and have always thought the guys (I'm a guy) sounded a little whiney.

But, I've had a "come to Jesus" moment with this thread, and with the experience of one of the men at my church, whose wife cleaned out her stuff one day while he was at work and the kids were at camp two months ago.

Seems she needed to "find herself", which is code for having an affair. She sued for divorce almost immediately, and is showing every sign of taking this guy to the cleaners.

I'm a deacon at the church, so he and I talked one evening two a month ago, and he was absolutely devastated. Crushed. Unbelieving that this was happening to him.

He's got right and stablity on his side, and I don't know how Texas judges will handle this case.

But, I can tell you one thing: this woman deserves nothing. No custody, no money, no "half" (even though that's what she'll get), nothing.

I've been married 26 years, with two grown kids, and a wife who has been my best friend for all that time. I guess I'm lucky, 'cause she's the light of my life and we enjoy being together now more than ever.

Anyway, I am in full sympathy with IFM, and the other men on this forum who are struggling with the injustice of the American court system.

It surprises me, not at all, that men are boycotting marriage. Why put yourself at risk of devastation, mentally, emotionally,and financially, when there are women who feel no compunction in divorcing a man knowing that they'll get the store, and the guy will end up sleeping in the garage, while still playing through the nose.