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48 Reasons why Dogs are better than women
Strange Cosmos ^ | 8/17/2003

Posted on 08/16/2003 8:39:35 PM PDT by sinkspur

48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women 48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. Dogs don't cry.

2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.

3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

4. Dogs think you sing great.

5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

10. Dogs are excited by rough play.

11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.

13. Dogs love red meat.

14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

17. Dogs don't shop.

18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

19. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

21. A dog's parents never visit.

22. Dogs love long car trips.

23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

26. Dogs like beer.

27. Dogs don't hate their bodies.

28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

30. Dogs never criticize.

31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

32. Dogs never expect gifts.

33. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

34. Dogs don't worry about germs.

35. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

37. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

40. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

42. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.

44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

45. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

46. Dogs can't talk.

47. Dogs aren't catty.

48. Dogs seldom outlive you.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: dogs; joke
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To: nmh
Just tired of marriage being denounced and divorce being so common that you can pick up cards celebrating a divorce.

Uh, what aisle would those be on?

61 posted on 08/16/2003 10:02:41 PM PDT by orlop9
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To: sinkspur
That was funny..I just printed it out for hubby.
62 posted on 08/16/2003 10:02:45 PM PDT by joyce11111
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To: sinkspur
This is funny! I betcha I could apply this to men too however, in fact, some of them I did! :-)
63 posted on 08/16/2003 10:04:00 PM PDT by ladyinred (The left have blood on their hands.)
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To: noutopia
My cat goes to bathroom outside. He comes in to puke, lol
64 posted on 08/16/2003 10:09:13 PM PDT by meanie monster (hooked on phonics werked for me.)
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To: meanie monster
If I could find a wife that would go hunting with me and not care when it got cold and when it was to late and when it was an aniversity,I'd marry her. My last two said they they would.
65 posted on 08/16/2003 10:17:20 PM PDT by noutopia
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To: noutopia
Aniversity? wow!
66 posted on 08/16/2003 10:20:21 PM PDT by noutopia
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To: noutopia
I go hunting and tomorrow me and the hubby are going fishing. I am a very lucky woman.
67 posted on 08/16/2003 10:22:21 PM PDT by meanie monster (hooked on phonics werked for me.)
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To: sinkspur
Dogs don't take you in their arms and say, "Oh you poor baby" when you come home whining about not getting a raise.
68 posted on 08/16/2003 10:25:12 PM PDT by Hildy
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To: sinkspur
love it!

Great...:)
69 posted on 08/16/2003 10:27:37 PM PDT by rwfromkansas (http://www.collegemedianews.com *some interesting radio news reports here; check it out*)
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To: meanie monster
And he is a very very lucky man.
70 posted on 08/16/2003 10:28:59 PM PDT by noutopia
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To: noutopia
you so sweet!!!!
71 posted on 08/16/2003 10:33:52 PM PDT by meanie monster (hooked on phonics werked for me.)
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To: sinkspur
I have four dogs and no wife. Doctor says I'm in perfect health. What else could a guy ask for?
72 posted on 08/16/2003 10:34:14 PM PDT by blam
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To: meanie monster
Not really,I have had two wives that would disagree,but they didn't like the outdoors like I did.
73 posted on 08/16/2003 10:37:09 PM PDT by noutopia
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To: Hildy
Dogs don't take you in their arms and say, "Oh you poor baby" when you come home whining about not getting a raise.

I think it translates to: sniff,lick lick, slobber, sniff sniff.

74 posted on 08/16/2003 10:46:59 PM PDT by orlop9
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To: nmh
Finding someone is a heck of a lot harder than finding a good pet though...lol.
75 posted on 08/16/2003 10:48:27 PM PDT by rwfromkansas (http://www.collegemedianews.com *some interesting radio news reports here; check it out*)
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To: rwfromkansas
Got me there,I'd trade two dogs for a good woman.
76 posted on 08/16/2003 10:51:00 PM PDT by noutopia
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To: meanie monster
awesome tagline
77 posted on 08/16/2003 10:51:14 PM PDT by rwfromkansas (http://www.collegemedianews.com *some interesting radio news reports here; check it out*)
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To: Hildy
Yeah they do! And they lick your face and slober on ya and let you use their fur to wipe your nose!

And they don't complain about how gross that just was!!

<|:-)~~
78 posted on 08/16/2003 10:52:14 PM PDT by JoeSixPack1 (POW/MIA - Bring 'em home, or send us back! Semper Fi)
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To: oceanperch
Dogs are loyal..
79 posted on 08/16/2003 10:52:48 PM PDT by Aut Pax Aut Bellum (Miles to go before I can sleep...)
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To: noutopia
Hey I am only kidding here!!!!!!!!!!!
80 posted on 08/16/2003 10:53:04 PM PDT by noutopia
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