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48 Reasons why Dogs are better than women
Strange Cosmos ^ | 8/17/2003

Posted on 08/16/2003 8:39:35 PM PDT by sinkspur

48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women 48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. Dogs don't cry.

2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.

3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

4. Dogs think you sing great.

5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

10. Dogs are excited by rough play.

11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.

13. Dogs love red meat.

14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

17. Dogs don't shop.

18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

19. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

21. A dog's parents never visit.

22. Dogs love long car trips.

23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

26. Dogs like beer.

27. Dogs don't hate their bodies.

28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

30. Dogs never criticize.

31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

32. Dogs never expect gifts.

33. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

34. Dogs don't worry about germs.

35. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

37. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

40. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

42. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.

44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

45. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

46. Dogs can't talk.

47. Dogs aren't catty.

48. Dogs seldom outlive you.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: dogs; joke
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To: Revolting cat!
My dogs both enjoy it when I practice my trumpet. At least, I think that noise they make is "singing along" and not "howling in pain."
41 posted on 08/16/2003 9:28:43 PM PDT by irv
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To: jlogajan
Dang, that website is HARSH ..... true but harsh.
42 posted on 08/16/2003 9:30:55 PM PDT by Centurion2000 (We are crushing our enemies, seeing him driven before us and hearing the lamentations of the liberal)
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To: rednekelmo
ouch
43 posted on 08/16/2003 9:36:11 PM PDT by oceanperch
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To: sinkspur
My dog loves me 'cause he don't know no better.

My girlfriend loves me even though she does.

fun is fun, we all like to joke around...but there's the bottome line.

44 posted on 08/16/2003 9:41:30 PM PDT by fourdeuce82d
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To: jlogajan
This list has been around for years, but keeps getting better. It also works for "Why Beer is better than a woman"
45 posted on 08/16/2003 9:42:42 PM PDT by FastCoyote
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To: Devil_Anse
Pinging...

This is a hoot.

46 posted on 08/16/2003 9:44:41 PM PDT by Lucy Lake
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To: zip; BOBWADE
ping
47 posted on 08/16/2003 9:45:34 PM PDT by Mrs Zip
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To: sinkspur
It's a Dog eat Dog world!!
48 posted on 08/16/2003 9:45:56 PM PDT by potlatch (If you want breakfast in bed - - - sleep in the kitchen!)
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To: brigette
This thread is begging for someone to post Gary Larson's Far Side comparison of what a dog hears versus what a cat hears.

Can't seem to find it on the net! ($$$)

It was an impressive search though. Larson personally wrote e-mails to some of his fan sites asking, very kindly, that his "children" be sent back to him since he, like any "concerned father", worries about who they're hanging with.

I'm sure his publishers had something to do with it. Creative way of trying to avoid e-mails from the lawyers.

49 posted on 08/16/2003 9:46:03 PM PDT by TotusTuus (I can't post it.)
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To: TotusTuus
Lawyers,that another damn thing.Well that's another post.
50 posted on 08/16/2003 9:49:53 PM PDT by noutopia
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To: brigette
It's a humor thread...personally I think dogs do have a sense of humor

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. --Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

51 posted on 08/16/2003 9:50:50 PM PDT by orlop9
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To: sinkspur
Oh, oh ... next someone will reply with dogs being more intimately satisfying. I'd bet there's atleast one vote for some closet beastility. Or it's just plain sour grapes.

As much as we love our pets (dogs and cats) I wouldn't trade my spouse in for a dog or a cat. It's a good relationship. There's so much cynicism going around with just everything that I find this posting offensive. Just tired of marriage being denounced and divorce being so common that you can pick up cards celebrating a divorce.

52 posted on 08/16/2003 9:50:59 PM PDT by nmh
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To: Blood of Tyrants
A dog won't look at you funny if you drop something on the floor, pick it up and eat it.

No I disagree.

He'll look at you funny wondering why you aren't sharing that "something" with him, LOL!

53 posted on 08/16/2003 9:51:54 PM PDT by kstewskis
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To: brigette
Dogs have a master.

Cats have a staff.

<|:-)~~
54 posted on 08/16/2003 9:54:12 PM PDT by JoeSixPack1 (POW/MIA - Bring 'em home, or send us back! Semper Fi)
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To: All
I love dogs but I am a cat owner and my cat is so kewl. I scolded him last week for puking on my new carpet and he brought me a piece offering (a dead mouse) and he laid it on my chest whilst I was asleep. I love my cat Velcro.
55 posted on 08/16/2003 9:54:47 PM PDT by meanie monster (hooked on phonics werked for me.)
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To: nmh
As much as we love our pets (dogs and cats) I wouldn't trade my spouse in for a dog or a cat. It's a good relationship. There's so much cynicism going around with just everything that I find this posting offensive. Just tired of marriage being denounced and divorce being so common that you can pick up cards celebrating a divorce.

Thank you for posting that, and offering at least a little bit of hope for those of us single folk who still have faith in the institution of marriage ;o)

56 posted on 08/16/2003 9:57:23 PM PDT by kstewskis
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To: kstewskis
but...now back to the thread....

dogs don't hog the covers when it's cold...!

57 posted on 08/16/2003 9:59:25 PM PDT by kstewskis
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To: potlatch
Pinging you this for the replies!
58 posted on 08/16/2003 10:00:32 PM PDT by ntnychik
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To: Nightshift
ping
59 posted on 08/16/2003 10:01:30 PM PDT by tutstar
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To: sinkspur
Walk into a home that has cats,and you know it.Dogs are not like cats they can be trained to go outside.Cats are stinking animals that never should have been close to man much less in his house.
60 posted on 08/16/2003 10:01:57 PM PDT by noutopia
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