48 Reasons why Dogs are better than women

Strange Cosmos ^ | 8/17/2003

[sinkspur]

48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women 48 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. Dogs don't cry.

2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.

3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

4. Dogs think you sing great.

5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

10. Dogs are excited by rough play.

11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.

13. Dogs love red meat.

14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

17. Dogs don't shop.

18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

19. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

21. A dog's parents never visit.

22. Dogs love long car trips.

23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

26. Dogs like beer.

27. Dogs don't hate their bodies.

28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

30. Dogs never criticize.

31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

32. Dogs never expect gifts.

33. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

34. Dogs don't worry about germs.

35. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

37. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

40. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

42. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.

44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

45. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

46. Dogs can't talk.

47. Dogs aren't catty.

48. Dogs seldom outlive you.

[stlnative]

Why Cats are Better than Men

1. A cat always comes in SOBER after being out all night.

2. When a cat goes to the toilet she tries not to leave a trace.

3. You can put a bell around a cat's neck so you know exactly where she is.

4. If you stroke a cat she won't leap on you for sex.

5. You don't mind that much if a cat brings a bird home every night.

6. When a cat comes in at mid-night it doesn't wake you up by smashing into every item of furniture.

7. Cats never pretend they know how to fix the video.

8. Cats don't care what size your boobs are.

9. Cats still love you even when your perm goes wrong.

10. Cats love rubbing up to your legs however much cellulite you have.

11. Cats can be neutered if they stray.

12. If a cat jumps into your lap, a little light petting will satisfy her.

13. It's okay if a cat rubs up against your best friend.

14. If you ask enough times, a cat may actually listen to you.

15. You never have to spend time with your cat's mother.

16. Better chance of training a cat.

17. Cats are cute.

18. A cat is never late for dinner.

19. Cats love to see you come home from shopping with lots of bags!

20. You'll never get a call from you cat's ex-wife.

21. A cat would never leave you for a younger women.

22. Cats treat your mom with respect.

23. Cats don't worry about hair loss.

24. It feels nice to stroke a cats soft, fluffy fur.

25. A cat's friend is less likely to be annoying.

26. Cats can't show love without meaning it.

27. To buy a fancy dinner for a cat only costs 40p

28. Cats actually think with their heads.

29. Unlike a man, a cat can fend for itself.

30. It is legal in all states to neuter a cat.

31. Cats comfort you when you are sick.

32. When a cat sleeps all day it's natural, not annoying.

[Revolting cat!]

And the most important reason:

Dogs won't send you to the doghouse!

[lilylangtree]

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.



2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.



3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.



4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.



5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.



6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.






AMAZING CONCLUSION:


The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

[snippy_about_it]

Ping

[BulletBobCo]

Why Dogs are better than Cats...

11. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.

10. Dogs look much better at the end of a leash.

9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.

8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.

5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.

3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.

2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.

1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

[noutopia]

Dogs always love you.Exwives are not that kind.

[bluefish]

Cats are able to keep the romance alive

Are you involved in a romatic relationship with your cat? That's weird.

[Double Tap]

5 reasons why women are better than dogs.

1. Dogs can't cook.

No, but I can.

2. A dog isn't a good date. And don't expect to get anywhere if you're dumb enough to try it.

I've dated a few dogs, and I always scored. Wait, are we talking about humans or canine?

3. Women can get in the mood. Forget a dog.

Yeah, like that is going to happen!

4. Dogs don't clean the house. If you leave it there, chances are your dog will relocate it--as soon as he's done eating it. This includes undies.

You mean women clean the house? I'll be damned, I've never seen it.

5. Though a dog will never force you to watch Trading Spaces, a dog will never tell you when a football game is on. If you miss it, you get a lick. Good? No. Take it from me, you don't wanna know where that tongue has been.

I don't watch sports, but I do like to hunt and fish. So do most dogs.

All in good fun!!! ;^)

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

1. Dogs don't cry.

I suppose that pitiful whimpering is puppy's way of letting me know that he is happy to eat his food while I eat mine?

[irv]

Your dog is whining at the back door. Your wife is whining at the front door. What's the difference?

Let the dog in, he stops whining.

[Centurion2000]

Dogs will sooner pi$$ on lawyers then hire them if they get to feeling wanderlust.

[rednekelmo]

Dogs let you know where they like to be rubbed.

[orlop9]

And the #1 Reason:

Dogs have better manners than to try and Hijack the "Cat Threads"
snicker,snicker

[noutopia]

Yeah ,but the ones out the front door are starting to fight.

[oceanperch]

My personal exp. dog list

Dogs take care of you when your puking your guts up.

Dogs come runnng when you call "boys.

Dogs will eat old left overs and love when I clean out the fridge.

Dogs bug me to go out and exercise but never groan about my weight.

Dogs do not allow human men in the house.

Dogs bark at men in orange vests leaning on shovels.

Dogs expect something at the bank and drive thrus but will settle for the dollar items.

Dogs love state rest stops to do their duty.

Dogs ask permission before doing anything.

Dogs travel well and don't care if I am lost.

Dogs answer door, literally.

Dogs quietly leave room when I am cranky and return with out a grudge or expecting an apology.

Dogs enjoy my cooking esp. when I BBQ ribs for them.

Dogs will sit and listen to my non stop yakking.

Dogs don't question my love for them by how clean I keep the kitchen and prefer to do my dishes for me.

[stlnative]

I didn't write it

[Revolting cat!]

Dogs understand.

[stlnative]

hijack? - snicker,snicker

[oceanperch]

Your cats resemble my dogs.

[noutopia]

Dogs like men, most women like Hillary!