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Why Dogs are better than Cats...

11. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.

10. Dogs look much better at the end of a leash.

9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.

8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.

5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.

3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.

2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.

1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

Why my parrot is better than a dog or a cat:

1. My parrot greets me by name when I arrive home.
2. My parrot can answer the phone or the doorbell.
3. My parrot chews only what is approved for chewing.
4. My parrot sleeps straight through the night, even when "in season".
5. Tongue licks from a parrot are more interesting, less sloppy.
6. My parrot can sing, whistle, laugh and make kissing sounds.
7. I don't need a leash to take her on walks.
8. I don't pay a pet deposit with my apartment lease.
9. No hairs to pick up after (feathers are another story, but they are easier to pick up and sometimes make great gifts).
10. My parrot's a better "chick magnet" than cats or dogs.