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Entering the belly of The BEAST. My day with Hillary

Posted on 08/13/2003 10:35:48 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs

Today was a very special day.

I had the supreme opportunity to meet Hillary Rottenbottom at Miejer's Thrifty Acres, in Auburn Hills, Michigan.

I arrived around 10:30 am, for her 11:00 am book signing. The parking lot was packed.

I went into the store and was confronted by a sea of overweight housewives in white T shirts and shorts. You would have thought that this was an e-ticket ride for DisneyWorld. Fanny packs abound.

The line wound around the perimeter of the store. Hundreds upon hundreds of clones. All so very excited. They were there to meet their Queen.

I knew I had a long wait, and I was thinking of ditching the scene, because I was in heels, and I didn't feel like standing there for 2 hours just to meet her hieniousness.

Suddenly a dear friend of mine who is the camerman for a news station saw me in line, and asked what in the world I was doing there. I told him that I was up to shenanigans, and he told me to come with him, and pulled me out of line. He took me up near the front and placed me in line. I was about 25 people back from the Throne Of Hillary.

As I was waiting, I just stood and listened to the lobotomized clones around me. They could barely contain their glee. " Hillary is so wonderful. She will be our greatest president"." She is the best wife and mother"........

And don't even get me started about the wimpy men that were in line. It was mostly women, but there were a couple of husbands, probably because their wives were too overwrought with emotion to drive themselves to the Thrifty Acres.

Suddenly, with a smidgen of fanfare, from the bowells of hell, appears Hillary!. I called an audible. I said " Oh lord, she has a soccer ball in there". Oops, I didn't know I said that out loud. Silly me.

Yes indeed folks, Hillary, looking ever so hideous in a fuschia jacket, black trousers, and black sensible shoes, actually looks like she has a soccerball in her belly. Maybe it's a tumor, heck if I know, but there is something there. Hey, maybe it's a fannypack!

Today was obviously not a 'bath day' for the old gal. Her hair was undone, no makeup, no lipstick, but she did have earrings.

As we got closer, women around me started crying. Yes, you read that right, they were CRYING! They couldn't wait to meet Hillary. I honestly thought that some of them would pass out and die on the spot. It was from either too much excitement, or the copious amount of doughnuts that they had consumed over their lifetime.

There was an elderly lady in front of me that asked me for support. She felt faint from all the excitement.

..............as a small aside, Hillary is fuzzy. Remember those soaps you had as a kid, you got them wet and in a few days they grew fuz? Hillary has a very fuzzy face. And it's very round. Pumpkin round. Fuzzy and round and falling. Gravity is not being kind. ..........

Back to the old lady....

She kibbitzed with Hillary about how proud she was of her and how she will be a great president. Hillary shook her head, signed the books that were being shoved in front of her, and then came me.

I was in orange and fuschia in the sea of white T shirts and Hillary buttons. Hillary was signing away and I said " Who's on the cover of your book?"

IF LOOKS COULD KILL.

Hillary and I did lazer beam eyeballs of hate to each other.

If only she knew that the one questioning her was actually her nemesis...Hillary's Lovely Legs.

Suddenly a vice-like grip was on my left arm, and I was pulled away from Hillary. They handed me my book, and I was on my way.

My cameraman friend said he got it on tape and hopes he can use it, but he wanted to know what in the world I said to her to make her use her " GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE face".

I told him that I said " I have Vince Foster's murder on tape".

My silly friend, he thought I was serious. I told him what I really said and he laughed. I hope to get a copy of the tape. It will be priceless.

So I left the Thrifty Acres among the clones clutching their precious books with tears in their eyes, and as I was exiting, I came across the Hillary Rodham Clinton Support Group.

This is an organization of old bitties from Ann Arbor. They all had on matching T-Shirts with a big photo of Hillary on it. They carried signs that said " Hillary" and matching sun visors. They were going to go in for a private meeting with Hillary and a photo session. They have been so supportive of her, she had been through so much and is such a wonderful woman. ( oh spare me)

So that's it. I entered the belly of the beast and got to see old fuzzy face and survived.

So where's my T-shirt?


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Editorial; US: Michigan; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: beelzebubba; bestfreepever; billsballs; book; booksigning; classic; clinton; crustypantsuit; freehll; hildebeast; hillary; hillaryclinton; hughhewitt; ickywoman; livinghistory; lyinghistory; notaniceperson; pregnant; takeabath; thebeast; whosonthecoverofbook; wickedwitchofnewyork
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Dang! That was one of the funniest things I've ever read on FR! I love what you told Hillary! Well done!!!
41 posted on 08/13/2003 11:03:48 AM PDT by Nea Wood
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Hillary and I did lazer beam eyeballs of hate to each other.

Since she long ago, in a galaxy, far away, went over to the "Dark Side", I'm sure your laser eyes (from the forces of good) managed to burn a little retina.

BTW, do her pupils run in an ellipse, north and south, Like a reptile?

Great FReepin' job. ROFLMAO

42 posted on 08/13/2003 11:03:55 AM PDT by BOBTHENAILER (One by one, in groups or whole armies.....we don't care how we getcha, but we will)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
I knew I had a long wait, and I was thinking of ditching the scene, because I was in heels, and I didn't feel like standing there for 2 hours just to meet her hieniousness.

And I bet you were one of the few not in "comfortable shoes." Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Great FReep and a wonderful line you gave to the Beast. I really enjoyed your report.

43 posted on 08/13/2003 11:07:08 AM PDT by Moonman62
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Hillary and I did lazer beam eyeballs of hate to each other.

The cat claws came out, eh?

44 posted on 08/13/2003 11:09:16 AM PDT by mhking
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Who's on the cover of your book?

Great work, Ms. Legs!

I hope I never get on your bad side!

45 posted on 08/13/2003 11:09:34 AM PDT by VoiceOfBruck (please disregard what i just said. i didn't mean it. what i meant to say was)
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To: Registered

46 posted on 08/13/2003 11:09:42 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs (a 'true conservative' would rather keep Davis than elect Arnold just so they can say 'I told you so')
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
YES!....(Shiva clapping)
47 posted on 08/13/2003 11:10:19 AM PDT by shiva
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Too funny! And very well written. Are you perhaps a writer in real life?
48 posted on 08/13/2003 11:11:15 AM PDT by Samizdat
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To: blackbart1
Didn't she critize poor people once because they had bad teeth? Maybe she is trying to help them to identify with her.
49 posted on 08/13/2003 11:12:42 AM PDT by Aria
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Nice stab at Satan. She will be asked that question (who is on the cover?) again and again.
50 posted on 08/13/2003 11:14:29 AM PDT by bmwcyle (Here's to Hillary's book sinking like the Clinton 2000 economy)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
You may have to change your screen name to Hillary's Fuzzy Face!
51 posted on 08/13/2003 11:15:17 AM PDT by mombonn (¡Viva Bush/Cheney!)
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To: Phantom Lord
To have looked into the soulless eyes of the Medusa and lived to tell the tale.....I am impressed!
52 posted on 08/13/2003 11:16:16 AM PDT by rockrr
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Re "not a bath day -- no make-up, hair undone, etc. BUT SHE DID HAVE EARRINGS!"

What's that famous old saying?? "No use hanging earrings on a pig?" I think it fits in this scenario!
53 posted on 08/13/2003 11:16:48 AM PDT by CarmelValleyite
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To: CarmelValleyite

It's Fuzzy, It's Furry, It's Hillary

54 posted on 08/13/2003 11:18:37 AM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs (a 'true conservative' would rather keep Davis than elect Arnold just so they can say 'I told you so')
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Sounds like the same pantsuit she had on here in San Diego. I bet in another year she'll donate it to charity and write it off on her income taxes...WHO'S THAT ON THE COVER OF YOUR BOOK!!! LOLOLOLOL....priceless. Good job!!!
55 posted on 08/13/2003 11:22:17 AM PDT by Hildy
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
Feeling as if I was in line with you up close enough to sense what the Hilda beasts would splash on to cover up the evil inside.

If only newspaper reporters could write so honestly but most of the time, just cannot follow the flow or the logic of their stories.

Does anyone else have that same problem with journalist?

Thanks for your report!

PS. "I have Vince Foster's murder on tape". Nice Idea...
56 posted on 08/13/2003 11:22:20 AM PDT by Major_Risktaker (If you’re not passing, stay out of the left lane!)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
So...HLL, what did you do with the signed book of lies?????????????????
57 posted on 08/13/2003 11:25:37 AM PDT by CarmelValleyite
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs

Hillary x 2
58 posted on 08/13/2003 11:26:53 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
What a riot!
59 posted on 08/13/2003 11:27:05 AM PDT by EmmaPeel
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You've made my day! And this has been a pretty good week, what with our "deviling" of the Hildebeast on Monday! See the first pic in that thread for my special couture for the event.

60 posted on 08/13/2003 11:30:51 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (this space intentionally blank)
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