Posted on 07/01/2003 9:11:53 AM PDT by quidnunc
A fine line exists between a uniformed agent exercising governmental authority and crossing over into willful intimidation and abuse. A friend of mine once called it putting small people in big jobs. Well, after returning from a recent trip through Terminal One of the Fort Lauderdale, Fla., airport, I have a renewed appreciation of the liberties we honor each July 4. First, count me among those who believe our airlines should be as safe and secure as possible. If that means screening baggage and asking us to step through detectors, I have no problem with either. But the Transportation Security Administration is showing signs of needlessly imposing its own brand of terrorism on our own citizens.
A niece who serves in the U.S. military had departed a day before I did. She had called to tell me to "expect the worst" when I arrived at the airport, so when I walked into the terminal the next morning, it was in shorts without a belt, a loose-fitting golf shirt and sandals.
Even my carry-on bag contained only dirty clothes and some normal traveling odds and ends. Arriving nearly two hours early, I zipped through the e-ticket line and found only two ahead of me at TSAs screening point. Well over a dozen agents clad in white shirts with "TSA" emblazoned on their backs were milling around, seemingly searching for any way to justify their existence.
Ole Mike was about to brighten their day as he stepped front and center.
Watch, ring, sandals, wallet and cell phone go into the small plastic bin. It all disappears through the x-ray machine with my carry-on. Everything is running smoothly. Then as I am exiting through the body-scan tunnel, the alarm.
A TSA agent claims my shoulder narrowly scraped one side. I had felt nothing. "Please step over here, sir," the agent says. Another sitting behind the baggage screening device begins shouting, "Bag check."
Out go my arms. No beeps. No armed terrorist here. Another agent explains that he has to rifle through my belongings. I say fine. He dives in to his elbow and gropes until he discovers something Id long ago forgotten my steel butane lighter. He flicks it. The faintest hint of a blue dot appears where there should be flame. "Sir," he says politely, "youre going to have to take this outside and empty it if you want to keep it."
I look at the lighter, remind myself it had cost about $8 and reply, "Naw, go ahead, take it. Its not worth all the hassle."
But he insists that I keep it, even escorting me to the nearby arrival gate and demonstrating how to insert the tip of a ball-point to empty the minuscule residue of fuel.
I obediently step 10 yards outside the arrival gate where two other TSA agents are standing guard and punch the pens tip into the lighter for one second. The bored younger of the two guards, apparently feeling especially authoritative in his new homeland job, bellows, "Hey, you. When he said take that outside, he meant to take it all the way outside this terminal. That thing could have toxic fumes in it."
I can only smile and shake my head.
Back to the line and another examination of me and my carry-on. I walk through the tunnel again. No alarm this time, but an agents voice still instructs me to "Please step over here to this row of seats for a body check." Meanwhile, my bag is passing through its second exam without hassle. The agent who had insisted on saving my lighter is overseeing the second wanding. Two minutes pass as he meticulously checks every inch, including the bottom of my bare feet.
In the process, I ask him a question about which I have wondered. "Can you tell me how many American citizens have hijacked airplanes in the United States during the past 30 or 40 years?"
He stares blankly and says, "I dont know." I tell him I cant think of one, short of the legendary D. B. Cooper in the Pacific Northwest a half-century ago, but he parachuted into oblivion.
Finally, the agent says I am fine and can leave. I grab my bag and draw a deep breath. The question of my legitimacy is resolved.
Arriving at my departure gate an hour early, Im alone in the rows of seats. Placing the planets best scrutinized piece of carry-on luggage in the seat beside me, I lean back to stare at the ceiling. Yep, it was as needlessly bad as she warned it would be, I think.
The coffee stand 50 yards away beckons. I stroll over and wait several minutes in line. Then I return to the gate to find a large German shepherd and three uniformed TSA agents standing over my now-unzipped and once again well-rifled carry-on. "Are you Mr. Masterson?" the older one, who looks like a grizzled Philadelphia cop, fires the angry question like a bullet. "Yes, I am. Is there some problem?"
He looks at the bag, then angrily back at me. "Yeah, theres a problem. You left your bag unattended. Youll have to get it and come with me for another inspection."
Hes right. I blundered by going for coffee and mindlessly leaving my bag in the seat. I suppose that policy hadnt even dawned on me since the damned thing had already been twice screened and thoroughly ransacked.
As we walk, this portly agent who never smiles reaches in to snatch the ticket jacket from my now notorious bag. He opens the cover. It is empty. "So just where is your ticket, Mr. Masterson?" he scowls accusingly. By now, Im feeling like the uniformed Gestapo with their German shepherd have set Mr. Peacefully Traveling American up like a domino. I am definitely being made to look like a terrorist or some other kind of criminal. "My ticket was in there when I came through the gate twice before," I say, my heart now somewhere near my tonsils. "I dont know where it is. This is crazy. It has to be somewhere in my bag."
By now, I am back in the inspection line for the third time. The little bag gets another search and I get wanded for a third and then a fourth time after a second specialist agent is brought in with a wand so sensitive that the staples in my checkbook sets it to singing. He also wants to see the bottom of my feet.
Through it all, the older cop wannabee agent is staring menacingly as if its him against me, and I am wondering (almost out loud) just what in the name of unnecessary fear and jackbooted intimidation we are inflicting on our own citizens today.
And by the way, where the heck is the ticket that 15 minutes earlier had been safely secured in my luggage?
Finally, the second wand wielder completes his assignment and I am pronounced clean in Terminal One of the Fort Lauderdale airport for the third time. With a smirk, the older agent grabs the ticket jacket and replaces my ticket, which he has been secretly holding all along. "Let this be a lesson to you, Mr. Masterson," he says. "Someone can put something into your luggage just as easily as they can take something out." Thirty minutes later, I was feeling the weight of the 757 finally lifting away from Florida soil, headed back to civilization. Rest assured, neither this American citizen nor the carry-on bag now permanently stitched to his hip will ever return for more guilty-until-proven-innocent treatment. Should your travel plans take you through Terminal One in Fort Lauderdale, Id advise traveling naked without a carry-on.
They are doing a pretty good job, judging from some of the responses on this thread.
How do you recruit a non-Muslim to blow himself up in a terrorist act? Do you promise a great 401(k)?
I would roll laughing if Mr. Masterson had then broken the agents jaw and said: "Let this be a lesson not to steal from people.. moron."
5. Don't forget to breathe deeply when the Zyklon B comes out the shower heads.
That would have the proper response, but under the circumstance he could have faced life without parole for striking a federal agent.
Yes, and it's been said more than once by El Al screeners that our methods are stupid and ineffective because while TSA screeners look for weapons, El Al screeners look for terrorists. They make passengers answer a whole lot of questions relating to their travel and can detect evasive answers or inappropriate nervousness.
And TSA wanding the soles of your feet and pawing through your underwear is treating you how?
I get your humor. It seems like everyone who 'has no problem' with the TSA requirements for flying (like Mineral Man) have drastically altered the way they travel. We're talking about lists of dozens of things that people now do in order to get hassled less. It's like a bunch of lists of capitulation.
"You need me to arrive at the airport naked in order to speed myself through the line? No problem. Whatever it takes for security!"
Anything is possible, but given the history of hijackings and terrorism, the probabilities were slight.
Israel manages far higher security without using stupid and rigid body search rules.
That may or may not be true. I do know, however, that travelers through Israeli airports can take hours to clear security because of the invasive verbal interrogations. Can you imagine the reaction of the spoiled, whiney American travelers if they had to undego the same degree of interrogation when traveling from LGA to MIA?
Good question. But I bet if I studied the relevant law I could find something that would justify the arrest. Doesn't make it right, but I'm tired of post 09.11 travelers who whine about having to take their shoes off or not being allowed to leave their bags unattended while they go for coffee 50 feet away.
How many of the nineteen hijackers would be stopped by the TSA frisking little old ladies and toddlers?
How many would be stopped by checking out obviously Arab Muslim looking men?
Profiling isn't going to be 100 percent, but if you liberals, Bushbots (no, this isn't all Bush's fault), and "law&order" types can rub two brain cells together for a little warmth you will see that it beats the heck out of TSA busting the chops of people who are never, ever going to fly a plane into a building.
Ok, we are at what, 22-2 now? Ping when the number of non-Arab, non-Muslim terrorist acts reaches 22. Besides, since the topic under discussion is TSA, neither McVeigh nor the punk teenager (who expressed Muslim sympathies) is relevant.
I don't think they are just screening for would-be terrorists, but also drug smugglers, art smugglers, etc.
Is that a Renoir in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Do you want cops frisking people walking into grocery stores? Smugglers generally don't take domestic flights, and those things have always been screened by customs.
I am not pro-security at all, at least not where TSA-like organizations are concerned. Ninety plus percent of all security is window dressing meant only to secure the feelings of the ignorant.
Everything real and effective is going on under the radar. TSA has a lot more to to with soccer moms than terrorism.
That would be profiling, so they do the reverse. As you've no doubt witnessed if you've flown since 9/11.
MM
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.