Who is the Terrorist? (The horror that air travel in the U.S. is becoming)

The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette ^ | July 1, 2003 | Mike Masterson

[quidnunc]

A fine line exists between a uniformed agent exercising governmental authority and crossing over into willful intimidation and abuse. A friend of mine once called it putting small people in big jobs. Well, after returning from a recent trip through Terminal One of the Fort Lauderdale, Fla., airport, I have a renewed appreciation of the liberties we honor each July 4. First, count me among those who believe our airlines should be as safe and secure as possible. If that means screening baggage and asking us to step through detectors, I have no problem with either. But the Transportation Security Administration is showing signs of needlessly imposing its own brand of terrorism on our own citizens.

A niece who serves in the U.S. military had departed a day before I did. She had called to tell me to "expect the worst" when I arrived at the airport, so when I walked into the terminal the next morning, it was in shorts without a belt, a loose-fitting golf shirt and sandals.

Even my carry-on bag contained only dirty clothes and some normal traveling odds and ends. Arriving nearly two hours early, I zipped through the e-ticket line and found only two ahead of me at TSA’s screening point. Well over a dozen agents clad in white shirts with "TSA" emblazoned on their backs were milling around, seemingly searching for any way to justify their existence.

Ole Mike was about to brighten their day as he stepped front and center.

Watch, ring, sandals, wallet and cell phone go into the small plastic bin. It all disappears through the x-ray machine with my carry-on. Everything is running smoothly. Then as I am exiting through the body-scan tunnel, the alarm.

A TSA agent claims my shoulder narrowly scraped one side. I had felt nothing. "Please step over here, sir," the agent says. Another sitting behind the baggage screening device begins shouting, "Bag check."

Out go my arms. No beeps. No armed terrorist here. Another agent explains that he has to rifle through my belongings. I say fine. He dives in to his elbow and gropes until he discovers something I’d long ago forgotten — my steel butane lighter. He flicks it. The faintest hint of a blue dot appears where there should be flame. "Sir," he says politely, "you’re going to have to take this outside and empty it if you want to keep it."

I look at the lighter, remind myself it had cost about $8 and reply, "Naw, go ahead, take it. It’s not worth all the hassle."

But he insists that I keep it, even escorting me to the nearby arrival gate and demonstrating how to insert the tip of a ball-point to empty the minuscule residue of fuel.

I obediently step 10 yards outside the arrival gate where two other TSA agents are standing guard and punch the pen’s tip into the lighter for one second. The bored younger of the two guards, apparently feeling especially authoritative in his new homeland job, bellows, "Hey, you. When he said take that outside, he meant to take it all the way outside this terminal. That thing could have toxic fumes in it."

I can only smile and shake my head.

Back to the line and another examination of me and my carry-on. I walk through the tunnel again. No alarm this time, but an agent’s voice still instructs me to "Please step over here to this row of seats for a body check." Meanwhile, my bag is passing through its second exam without hassle. The agent who had insisted on saving my lighter is overseeing the second wanding. Two minutes pass as he meticulously checks every inch, including the bottom of my bare feet.

In the process, I ask him a question about which I have wondered. "Can you tell me how many American citizens have hijacked airplanes in the United States during the past 30 or 40 years?"

He stares blankly and says, "I don’t know." I tell him I can’t think of one, short of the legendary D. B. Cooper in the Pacific Northwest a half-century ago, but he parachuted into oblivion.

Finally, the agent says I am fine and can leave. I grab my bag and draw a deep breath. The question of my legitimacy is resolved.

Arriving at my departure gate an hour early, I’m alone in the rows of seats. Placing the planet’s best scrutinized piece of carry-on luggage in the seat beside me, I lean back to stare at the ceiling. Yep, it was as needlessly bad as she warned it would be, I think.

The coffee stand 50 yards away beckons. I stroll over and wait several minutes in line. Then I return to the gate to find a large German shepherd and three uniformed TSA agents standing over my now-unzipped and once again well-rifled carry-on. "Are you Mr. Masterson?" the older one, who looks like a grizzled Philadelphia cop, fires the angry question like a bullet. "Yes, I am. Is there some problem?"

He looks at the bag, then angrily back at me. "Yeah, there’s a problem. You left your bag unattended. You’ll have to get it and come with me for another inspection."

He’s right. I blundered by going for coffee and mindlessly leaving my bag in the seat. I suppose that policy hadn’t even dawned on me since the damned thing had already been twice screened and thoroughly ransacked.

As we walk, this portly agent who never smiles reaches in to snatch the ticket jacket from my now notorious bag. He opens the cover. It is empty. "So just where is your ticket, Mr. Masterson?" he scowls accusingly. By now, I’m feeling like the uniformed Gestapo with their German shepherd have set Mr. Peacefully Traveling American up like a domino. I am definitely being made to look like a terrorist or some other kind of criminal. "My ticket was in there when I came through the gate twice before," I say, my heart now somewhere near my tonsils. "I don’t know where it is. This is crazy. It has to be somewhere in my bag."

By now, I am back in the inspection line for the third time. The little bag gets another search and I get wanded for a third and then a fourth time after a second specialist agent is brought in with a wand so sensitive that the staples in my checkbook sets it to singing. He also wants to see the bottom of my feet.

Through it all, the older cop wannabee agent is staring menacingly as if it’s him against me, and I am wondering (almost out loud) just what in the name of unnecessary fear and jackbooted intimidation we are inflicting on our own citizens today.

And by the way, where the heck is the ticket that 15 minutes earlier had been safely secured in my luggage?

Finally, the second wand wielder completes his assignment and I am pronounced clean in Terminal One of the Fort Lauderdale airport for the third time. With a smirk, the older agent grabs the ticket jacket and replaces my ticket, which he has been secretly holding all along. "Let this be a lesson to you, Mr. Masterson," he says. "Someone can put something into your luggage just as easily as they can take something out." Thirty minutes later, I was feeling the weight of the 757 finally lifting away from Florida soil, headed back to civilization. Rest assured, neither this American citizen nor the carry-on bag now permanently stitched to his hip will ever return for more guilty-until-proven-innocent treatment. Should your travel plans take you through Terminal One in Fort Lauderdale, I’d advise traveling naked without a carry-on.

[Mulder]

They only accomplish the unthinkable - Americans submitting to brainless authority.

They are doing a pretty good job, judging from some of the responses on this thread.

[JoeSchem]

I don't think that many people remember that the Muslim extremists were going to recruit Caucasians in Russia to commit terrorist acts, so just searching Muslims won't due anymore. But they should be a high priority.

How do you recruit a non-Muslim to blow himself up in a terrorist act? Do you promise a great 401(k)?

[Jhoffa_]

"Let this be a lesson to you, Mr. Masterson," he says. "Someone can put something into your luggage just as easily as they can take something out."

I would roll laughing if Mr. Masterson had then broken the agents jaw and said: "Let this be a lesson not to steal from people.. moron."

[FreedomCalls]

and I might add:

5. Don't forget to breathe deeply when the Zyklon B comes out the shower heads.

[ladyinred]

It is a terrible shame, but unfortunately, we were viciously attacked with airliners who have no sense of security on Sept 11th 2001. If they had been forced to comply with the findings of the investigation of the so called Gore committee instead of being able to give payoffs to the DNC perhaps this wouldn't have happened.

[takenoprisoner]

I would roll laughing if Mr. Masterson had then broken the agents jaw and said: "Let this be a lesson not to steal from people.. moron."

That would have the proper response, but under the circumstance he could have faced life without parole for striking a federal agent.

[FreedomCalls]

Fly El Al, especially in or out of Israel, and you'll understand what a real screening is.

Yes, and it's been said more than once by El Al screeners that our methods are stupid and ineffective because while TSA screeners look for weapons, El Al screeners look for terrorists. They make passengers answer a whole lot of questions relating to their travel and can detect evasive answers or inappropriate nervousness.

[FreedomCalls]

Look at El Al, most secure airline in the world, how do they get that way? They treat everybody like a hijacker.

And TSA wanding the soles of your feet and pawing through your underwear is treating you how?

[takenoprisoner]

We went thru metal detectors before 911. We were subject to searches before 911. My first personal search came in 1973 as a Marine returning from overseas at Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport. They said then it was a random search. Then they said I was free to board.

[FrogMom]

I had a new DVD disappear out of my checked luggage last week. Whomever helped themselves left the damned thing unzipped, too.

I would rather accompany it through its inspection and then be able to lock it.

[zoyd]

and I might add: 5. Don't forget to breathe deeply when the Zyklon B comes out the shower heads.

I get your humor. It seems like everyone who 'has no problem' with the TSA requirements for flying (like Mineral Man) have drastically altered the way they travel. We're talking about lists of dozens of things that people now do in order to get hassled less. It's like a bunch of lists of capitulation.

"You need me to arrive at the airport naked in order to speed myself through the line? No problem. Whatever it takes for security!"

[Labyrinthos]

Federal authorities knew of such possibilities since 1995, when they found such plans on Khalid Mohammed.

Anything is possible, but given the history of hijackings and terrorism, the probabilities were slight.

Israel manages far higher security without using stupid and rigid body search rules.

That may or may not be true. I do know, however, that travelers through Israeli airports can take hours to clear security because of the invasive verbal interrogations. Can you imagine the reaction of the spoiled, whiney American travelers if they had to undego the same degree of interrogation when traveling from LGA to MIA?

[Labyrinthos]

For what charge?

Good question. But I bet if I studied the relevant law I could find something that would justify the arrest. Doesn't make it right, but I'm tired of post 09.11 travelers who whine about having to take their shoes off or not being allowed to leave their bags unattended while they go for coffee 50 feet away.

[WOSG]

"travelers through Israeli airports can take hours to clear security because of the invasive verbal interrogations. "

I've been through it half a dozen times myself and I can tell you from first-hand experience, it is far MORE EFFECTIVE and LESS ANNOYING than the US TSA blundering.
It only takes hours if you dont have good explanations for why you are there (as a businessman, I usually have ecidence and a 'pattern' that makes sense for them.)

It's not 'invasive' to be asked what your business is or why you are travelling. it doesnt take hours. And the point is, the Israelis will *profile* who is doing what. They are out to catch *terrorists*, not nail clippers.

[takenoprisoner]

Only when they begin examining first hand up close and personal all body cavaties of each and every passenger will there be a reduced chance of terrorism on the flight. If you believe the efforts imposed now are effective, then you are certainly free to believe what millions of other fools believe.

[hopespringseternal]

Have you seen Queen Noor? She was American born... does she look like a Muslim?

How many of the nineteen hijackers would be stopped by the TSA frisking little old ladies and toddlers?

How many would be stopped by checking out obviously Arab Muslim looking men?

Profiling isn't going to be 100 percent, but if you liberals, Bushbots (no, this isn't all Bush's fault), and "law&order" types can rub two brain cells together for a little warmth you will see that it beats the heck out of TSA busting the chops of people who are never, ever going to fly a plane into a building.

[1Old Pro]

As with anything, there will be mistakes. Screeners look at hundreds of thousands of people, one or two mistakes is not that concerning.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Was the teenager who flew the plane into a building in Florida a devout Muslim, or a disgruntled, confused AMERICAN teenager? Prior to September 11th, the worst act of terrorism on American soil took place because of an angry red-headed American male. Did you call for keeping an eye on all American men with red hair after OKCity?

I'm not a liberal, and I am not a Bushbot. You make it sound like all there is to profiling is casting people into catergories. Okay, how in the world do you distinguish between a Muslim from Asia and one from the Middle East? Hmmm... you want to bet the Muslim from Asia would look more like your stereotypical vision of a tourist, than one from the Middle East?

They should be using common sense, which from your posts seems like you think means viewing everyone with suspicion. If that is the case, no one would ever get past screening in time to board the plane. They should be looking for anything and everything, within reason. I don't think they are just screening for would-be terrorists, but also drug smugglers, art smugglers, etc.

[hopespringseternal]

Was the teenager who flew the plane into a building in Florida a devout Muslim, or a disgruntled, confused AMERICAN teenager? Prior to September 11th, the worst act of terrorism on American soil took place because of an angry red-headed American male. Did you call for keeping an eye on all American men with red hair after OKCity?

Ok, we are at what, 22-2 now? Ping when the number of non-Arab, non-Muslim terrorist acts reaches 22. Besides, since the topic under discussion is TSA, neither McVeigh nor the punk teenager (who expressed Muslim sympathies) is relevant.

I don't think they are just screening for would-be terrorists, but also drug smugglers, art smugglers, etc.

Is that a Renoir in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Do you want cops frisking people walking into grocery stores? Smugglers generally don't take domestic flights, and those things have always been screened by customs.

I am not pro-security at all, at least not where TSA-like organizations are concerned. Ninety plus percent of all security is window dressing meant only to secure the feelings of the ignorant.

Everything real and effective is going on under the radar. TSA has a lot more to to with soccer moms than terrorism.

[MississippiMan]

Just search the stinking Muslims, leave the rest of us alone already.

That would be profiling, so they do the reverse. As you've no doubt witnessed if you've flown since 9/11.

MM