SUV Owners Shouldn't Read This

newspaper syndication ^ | March 22, 2003 | Donald "Lefty" Kaul

[newgeezer]

There are few things more misleadingly named than the Sports Utility Vehicle, which is neither sporty nor particularly utilitarian.

Oh, it's advertised as useful, I'll grant you that. And maybe it is, if you live in a remote mountain village where you occasionally have to drive over a rock-strewn field in bad weather to get where you're going. But most of the people who do things like that wouldn't be caught sober in one of the modern, fancy-schmansy SUVs, with the soft ride and the leather seats and cup-holders. (Real mountain people drive pickup trucks with a gun-rack in back of their heads.)

No, SUVs are bought, for the most part, by city folk, many of them suburban mothers who use them to cart kids around, with side trips to the supermarket. They claim that they buy them because they are:

1. Roomy (for the kids, you know)
2. Safe (don't want to be out there in a tin can)
3. Able to travel in inclement weather (because of the four-wheel drive so many of them have)

Which would be fine, except that none of those things is true. By the numbers:

1. Even the biggest SUVs (and there are some monsters) don't have any more passenger room than, say, a full-sized minivan, which costs thousands of dollars less and is easier to park.
2. SUVs have the distinction of being both more dangerous to themselves and more dangerous to other cars than other vehicles. Because of their high center of gravity, they have a distressing tendency to roll over and their fatality rates are higher than traditional vehicles (6 percent higher on the average; 8 percent in the bigger models). However, because of their huge size, in a collision with a normal-sized car, they are more apt to kill the occupants of the other vehicle. A Chevy Tahoe, for example, kills 122 people for every 1 million models on the road, while a Honda Accord kills only 21. This what's known as a lose/lose situation.
3. Inclement weather? Don't make me laugh. People with SUVs think inclement weather is when you can't play golf. For the occasional snowy day in most areas there are better ways to get around. SUVs are not the only four-wheel drive vehicles around anymore, after all. There are cars with all- and four-wheel drive that are superior in every way to your average SUV.

Every way except one. You can't bully other vehicles with a car the way you can with an SUV. And that's what the extraordinary popularity of the SUV is about---bullying.

Keith Bradsher, a New York Times reporter who been waging a crusade against SUVs for years now, has just published a book, High and Mighty, which documents the case against the vehicle. In it he quotes market researchers who have found that the SUV craze is "about not letting anything get in your way and at the extreme, about intimidating others to get out of your way."

SUV buyers, the researchers say, tend to be "insecure and vain, often lack confidence in their driving skills [and] are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in neighbors and communities."

Does that sound familiar or what? Picture the typical SUV driver---the beady, close-set eyes of a serial killer set above a snarl that could curdle a latte. And that's just the women. The men are worse. Think of Hitler's Panzer divisions invading Poland.

On top of every else, these behemoths handle badly, get lousy gas mileage, are exempt from the safety standards that regular cars have to meet and don't have to pay the luxury tax that similarly priced cars have to pay. (It's called campaign contributions.)

Let's face it, they are an unmitigated disaster; assault rifles with power steering. If a terrorist country was trying to do to us what the SUV is doing, we'd be bombing it by now.

Yet the SUV has become the backbone of the American auto industry, and, as such, is with us forever or until the gasoline runs out, whichever comes first.

[newgeezer]

> my wife's new Suburban LT

That's not an SUV, it is a light truck; not an sport vehicle, just a UV. Which is fine, no problem. A lot of people have a pickup truck with the same equipment except for the enclosed body, and they put a fancy camper shell on it, and there they are: poor man's SUV.

I wonder if you thought you read "Silverado" instead of "Suburban." Because, even if it's not particularly sporty, the Suburban was arguably the first SUV. There were lots of truck-based SUVs before the car-based and crossovers arrived on the scene.

[colorado tanker]

To his credit, he did not even hint at removing your right to buy an SUV.

And what makes you think that won't be next? This is how the left always starts a campaign against an industry. Their attacks on the oil industry haven't been very effective, so switch the target from production to consumption. I can't believe some conservatives are fooled by this.

[Petronski]

A Chevy Tahoe, for example, kills 122 people for every 1 million models on the road

Simple, just find that killer Tahoe and take it off the road, it's giving the other million a bad name.

[Reeses]

Thus, the nature of the SUV itself is dangerous.

The nature of a Democrat loved city bus is much more dangerous. Two weeks ago I almost got run over by a silent electric bus running a red light, a trick they do that all the time because they can. I've never seen a bus driver get a ticket, they just don't. They cause hundreds of accidents every day by blocking vision for other drivers. They weigh 10 tons spewing out cancer causing diesel smoke that coats the city in a black grime. Last week a bus killed a woman in an SUV. There was little damage to the bus. Why don't the socialists talk much of making buses more environmentally friendly and less dangerous to aluminum can drivers? If they are going to be jealous over SUVs they need to give equal treatment to buses. Also, why aren't they trying to get semi-trucks off the road and onto their other love, train tracks?

[killjoy]

Sometimes the intended purpose of an SUV is to drive to soccer practice. I doubt the kids and all their gear would fit in a 'vette.

Maybe so, but almost all the SUVs I see on the roads have the driver and at most 2 other people in the vehicle. The driver, mostly women, is usually yacking away on a cell phone and completely oblivious to what is going on outside of her SUV. That is where the real danger comes from.

[martianagent]

The author hit it on the nose. Aside from everything else, SUV owners appear to have all attended the same driving school; they all tailgate, they all try to pass in inside lanes in heavy traffic, and there's just no end to it.

Somebody like Heinrich Himmler or Adolph Eichman would be doing the world a favor to set up some sort of a Hotel California version of an SUV dealership into which which the potential buyers simply disappeared and never returned to pollute the world with their progeny. Kind of like "sie treten durch Tur hinein, und durch Shornstein herab" or something like that.

[ArrogantBustard]

I'll pick one of the authors assertions:

Does that sound familiar or what? Picture the typical SUV driver---the beady, close-set eyes of a serial killer set above a snarl that could curdle a latte. And that's just the women. The men are worse. Think of Hitler's Panzer divisions invading Poland.

No. It does not sound familiar. At least, not behind the wheel of an SUV. I've seen that person driving a BMW, or a ricer, or riding a bicycle on the streets of Washington City, though. Those bicycle couriers (and too many of the commuters) should wear a white headband with a red meatball in the middle.

Now pick something out of my post that was silly, etc.

[killjoy]

Aside from everything else, SUV owners appear to have all attended the same driving school; they all tailgate, they all try to pass in inside lanes in heavy traffic, and there's just no end to it.

Where do you live? If this is true, I will move there. In Florida, SUV drivers have a hard time even driving AT the speed limit. It is usually 5 to 10mph under at best.

[biblewonk]

Now pick something out of my post that was silly, etc.

Taking that statement and yourself so seriously definitely qualifies.

[cardinal4]

Somebody like Heinrich Himmler or Adolph Eichman would be doing the world a favor to set up some sort of a Hotel California version of an SUV dealership into which which the potential buyers simply disappeared and never returned to pollute the world with their progeny. Kind of like "sie treten durch Tur hinein, und durch Shornstein herab" or something like that.

A new low for you liberals. Cant get rid of W, so you attack SUVs. Nice.

[ArrogantBustard]

IOW, you can't.

Fine.

[biblewonk]

LOL! Thats what I am today, I just found out Im about to be laid off. The H2 is more of a pipe dream now!

Sorry to hear that but it's happened to me 3 times in the past. Ever read mathew 6? It has always been very comforting in times like that for me.

[RightWhale]

Toyota Highlander does almost as well as the LandCruiser crosscountry, but the comfort level is pretty high. Nice job of engineering.

[1poedpatriot]

when I drive my 400 hp AMG Ml55, I am too busy loading my M-16 to be " pousers" ( ing ), my next SUV will be a HUMMV with a 50 cal. mounted on top !!!!!!!!!
WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !

[BigNate]

Last Friday night, on our way to see the Braves get their heads handed to them by the BoSoxs, I turned in front of a 1995 Mazda 626. I was driving my wife's 2001 Yukon XL. Lucky for the fellow who hit me I was not in my F-250 Superduty Diesel.

The Officer who gave me my ticket said that the Yukon/Suburban type wehicle was the safest he had ever seen. He said that virtually all the police officers he knew who had families either already drove one, or wished they could. You could not make a better selection. (By the way, the OnStar system was a real lifesaver"

Wee had been talking about going smaller with our next purchase, but if you could have seen the two cars on Friday night. You'd be driving a suburban on Monday. I will always opt for what is best for my family, no matter what anyone else says. I pay for it and put the gas in it. It is my decision.

[trebb]

I almost felt bad for a minute, then took myself to lunch in my Jeep liberty. Feel much better now..

[biblewonk]

I did, pay attention next time.

[Blueflag]

Lariat or XLT?

I luv m' ford truck

4X4 F-150

[Petronski]

Somebody like Heinrich Himmler or Adolph Eichman would be doing the world a favor to set up some sort of a Hotel California version of an SUV dealership into which which the potential buyers simply disappeared and never returned to pollute the world with their progeny.

April Fools was yesterday...are you actually suggesting death camps disguised as SUV dealerships?

[martianagent]

I'm not a liberal and I like George Bush a lot. I simply hate SUVs and the sorry pigs who drive them. I can't believe a nice man like W would drive an SUV.