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MARK STEYN: How I long for the bombs to start falling
The Daily Telegraph ^ | March 8, 2003 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 03/07/2003 5:12:03 PM PST by MadIvan

Is there a columnar equivalent of Viagra? I mean, I started writing about impending war with Iraq in late September 2001 and, after 18 months, I'm beginning to flag. I don't think I've had a new thought on Iraq in months. I agree with what I said about toppling Saddam in The Sunday Telegraph way back on September 27, 2001. Don't bother looking it up. I've said the same words in a slightly different order a gazillion times since and, even taking the President at his word that this is Saddam's last last chance, that still gives me three weeks or so to say it another half-dozen times.

This is the Mesopotamian desert of punditry. I've been parched of fresh opinion for months, and the damn mirage of war shimmering on the horizon never gets any nearer.

The only consolation is that the anti-war crowd is having an even harder time keeping it up than I am. The "human shields" are leaving Iraq, disenchanted after discovering that their Iraqi "co-ordinators" wanted to deploy them not at "humanitarian" facilities but at military bases. One fellow said he was used to working with young children and would have preferred to be deployed at an orphanage. Pity the poor Iraqi official who had to explain to the guy that the orphanage has already got all the human shields it needs: they're called "orphans".

The bewildered Brit seemed to find this hard to follow: here's a man who's convinced that Bush and Rumsfeld are slavering to drop a bunch of daisycutters on Iraqi moppets, but thinks they'll cease and desist just because some droning Welsh Leftist is sitting among all those inviting underage targets.

Even more telling than the human shields scramming out of town is the alarming failure of recent "naked protests" to get naked. Many of my fellow warmongers have mocked the nude protests mounted by the women of California's Marin County, cruelly pointing out that many of the bits on show are excessively saggy. But I'll take what I can get. If we have to have an incoherent, anti-Western "peace" movement, then women showing off their hooters in support of a culture that would stone them to death for showing off their ankles is about as good as it's gonna get.

But, even by the impressive standards of risibility demonstrated by the "peace" movement, has there ever been a sadder "naked protest" than that staged this week by the students of Illinois Wesleyan University? The male "nudes for peace" stood around wearing their boxer shorts and, worse, little white ankle socks and sneakers. C'mon, guys, why so shy about letting us inspect your weapons of mass destruction? According to the UN resolution on nude protesting, it's a material breach to put material over your breech. If you don't want to take it off, maybe you should skip the naked thing entirely, stay inside and read up on what's the Saudi capital.

Meanwhile, the celebrities keep yakking on, despite a poll indicating that celebrities pontificating on the war doesn't change the public's attitude to war, only to the celebrity. So the Screen Actors' Guild is now worrying about a new "blacklist" against anti-war celebrities. No such blacklist exists. But it seems a mite inconsistent to use your celebrity status to advance your politics and then complain that your politics is impacting your celebrity status. Here, for example, is elderly rocker Chrissie Hynde on stage the other day:

"Have we gone to war yet?'' she asked sarcastically. ``We -------' deserve to get bombed. Bring it on.'' Later she yelled, ``Let's get rid of all the economic s--- this country represents! Bring it on, I hope the Muslims win!"

Fair enough. But, if this sort of thing makes some of us less enthusiastic about buying Miss Hynde's albums or watching Martin Sheen's television show, it's hard to see why their corporate masters shouldn't take it into account. As Miss Hynde would say, that's the economic s--- this country's all about.

So the longer this non-war goes on, the more exhausted the pitiful narcissism of the "peace" poseurs looks. But even the non-trivial types are feeling the strain. At the Arab League meeting in Cairo, Colonel Gaddafi and Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah almost came to blows. "Your grave awaits you!" Abdullah told Gaddafi just before Egyptian television pulled the plug.

In Qatar a couple of days later, the Kuwaiti foreign minister denounced the Iraqi vice-president as "an infidel and a charlatan" and the Iraqi responded by telling the Kuwaiti: "Shut up, you monkey. Curse be upon your moustache." This is less offensive than "I fart on your beard" (a traditional Arabic expression of ill-will), but only just. A couple more Arab League get-togethers and they'll be tearing each other's facial hair out.

I'll be tearing my own out if this goes on another month. This interminable non-rush to non-war is like a long, languorous, humid summer, where everyone's sweaty and cranky and longing for the clouds to break and the cool, refreshing rain to fall. Bring it on, please.


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; US: District of Columbia; United Kingdom
KEYWORDS: blair; bush; iraq; marksteynlist; saddam; steyn; uk; us
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Excellent from Steyn.

Regards, Ivan


1 posted on 03/07/2003 5:12:04 PM PST by MadIvan
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To: Pokey78; Otta B Sleepin; Mr. Mulliner; Semper911; Bubbette; Kip Lange; dixiechick2000; ...
Bump!
2 posted on 03/07/2003 5:12:21 PM PST by MadIvan (Learn the power of the Dark Side, www.thedarkside.net)
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To: MadIvan
Bump.
3 posted on 03/07/2003 5:15:45 PM PST by Rocko
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bttt
4 posted on 03/07/2003 5:16:33 PM PST by 1rudeboy
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To: MadIvan; madfly; FITZ; Bill Davis FR; DeathStalker; mhking; 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub; Elkiejg; ...
Great post mad keep up the good work !
5 posted on 03/07/2003 5:16:37 PM PST by ATOMIC_PUNK ("He is a moss-gatherer, and I have been a stone doomed to rolling." Gandalf)
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To: ATOMIC_PUNK
My sentiments exactly.
6 posted on 03/07/2003 5:20:31 PM PST by Ukiapah Heep (Give War a Chance!)
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To: MadIvan; Victoria Delsoul
The male "nudes for peace" stood around wearing their boxer shorts and, worse, little white ankle socks and sneakers. C'mon, guys, why so shy about letting us inspect your weapons of mass destruction? According to the UN resolution on nude protesting, it's a material breach to put material over your breech.

HAHAHAHAHA!

7 posted on 03/07/2003 5:25:07 PM PST by Jen (The FReeper Foxhole - Can you dig it?)
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To: MadIvan
women showing off their hooters in support of a culture that would stone them to death for showing off their ankles is about as good as it's gonna get.

Chastely LM primly covered AO!

8 posted on 03/07/2003 5:28:11 PM PST by PoisedWoman (Fed up with the liberal media)
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To: MadIvan
I know just how he feels.
9 posted on 03/07/2003 5:28:33 PM PST by NewYorker
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To: MadIvan
I said during the early months of the Bush Administration that he was going to try to right the character of our nation. The lesson we are currently learning is PATIENCE.

He has repeatedly told us he is patient and that we are also. (I have my doubts about that, sometimes.) However, I just heard a commentator on Fox discussing the munitions they would use. Apparently each bomb will be targeted to an appropriate site, and accurate within a few feet. They have been getting the coordinates for all of the munitions these last few months, besides moving troops.

I also think that however much our nerves are on edge, it is obvious that those in the Middle East are in far worse shape. This is a good thing.

And so, we will see what happens over the next few days. I think there will be some surprises. Did you ever think Jack Straw would be slapping down the French ambassador in the Security Council, and GET APPLAUSE?

Interesting times, Ivan.

10 posted on 03/07/2003 5:30:58 PM PST by Miss Marple
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To: MadIvan
"Have we gone to war yet?'' she asked sarcastically. ``We -------' deserve to get bombed. Bring it on.'' Later she yelled, ``Let's get rid of all the economic s--- this country represents! Bring it on, I hope the Muslims win!"

I hope she can be obliged. Perhaps we can book her in concert in Bagdad on March 17th? This statement is just mind blowing! Liberals are a scary group!

11 posted on 03/07/2003 5:31:57 PM PST by ladyinred
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To: MadIvan
Man, I feel Steyn's pain. He's been predicting war any second for months.

It never was a possibility before we finished building our base in Qatar, but he never was able to acknowledge that.

Patience Mark. In about three weeks your dream will come to pass.

12 posted on 03/07/2003 5:34:06 PM PST by Dog Gone
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To: MadIvan
Mark is always on...I don't think I've laughed so hard at the written word in a long time.
13 posted on 03/07/2003 5:36:37 PM PST by Cuttnhorse
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To: PoisedWoman
"women showing off their hooters in support of a culture that would stone them to death for showing off their ankles is about as good as it's gonna get."

I couldn't express it any better without treading on the territory of homoeroticism.

14 posted on 03/07/2003 5:39:34 PM PST by billorites
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To: MadIvan
And the farce of the human shields fleeing Iraq is too perfect.

Alec Baldwin still hasn't left America now that Bush's elected, Anacephalics Supporting Saddam whimper rather than bang.

We have now ten days to stock up on popcorn and beverages.

Memo to Saddam, Jacques and Gerhard: Too soon we test the worth of the German bunker sixty years after.

Then we collect the full set of German mobile bioweapons labs and French centrifuges.

Then we fart in your beards.

15 posted on 03/07/2003 5:40:37 PM PST by PhilDragoo (Hitlery: das Butch von Buchenvald)
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To: MadIvan
If we have to have an incoherent, anti-Western "peace" movement, then women showing off their hooters in support of a culture that would stone them to death for showing off their ankles is about as good as it's gonna get.

Saddamite Iraq is a mostly secular country, and women are allowed to show their ankles. Of course, these same appeaseniks were marching for the Taliban, so his point stands.

16 posted on 03/07/2003 5:42:47 PM PST by xm177e2 (Stalinists, Maoists, Ba'athists, Pacifists: Why are they always on the same side?)
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To: MadIvan
This is less offensive than "I fart on your beard" (a traditional Arabic expression of ill-will), but only just.

ROTFLMAOASTD
17 posted on 03/07/2003 5:43:59 PM PST by PatriotGames (AOOHGA! AOOHGA! CLEAR THE BRIDGE! DIVE! DIVE! WHOOSH!)
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To: MadIvan
Hillarious!
18 posted on 03/07/2003 5:45:34 PM PST by Burr5
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To: MadIvan; All
"...women showing off their hooters in support of a culture that would stone them to death for showing off their ankles is about as good as it's gonna get.

That is about as profound a statement as it's gonna get.

NVA sends. You gotta see this (So barfing bad it's funny Alert): http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/859440/posts

19 posted on 03/07/2003 5:55:44 PM PST by NonValueAdded ("Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." GWB 9/20/01)
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To: MadIvan
I too fart on their beards!
20 posted on 03/07/2003 5:56:07 PM PST by harry palmer
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