Food critics blamed for top chef's suicide

Ireland Online ^ | February 25, 2003

[Dog Gone]

The suicide of famed chef Bernard Loiseau sent shock waves through France today and sparked condemnation from fellow culinary masters who accused the country’s all-powerful food critics of pushing him over the edge.

Loiseau, 52, was found dead in the bedroom of his home in Saulieu, near his three-star Cote d’Or restaurant in Burgundy.

A rifle was found at his side. Staff and family members said he had committed suicide.

The news sent the gastronomic world into mourning and quickly sparked debate about the merits of restaurant guides’ rating systems which chefs await each year with bated breath.

Loiseau maintained his top rating of three stars in the 2003 edition of the benchmark Michelin Red Guide. However, he lost two points, going from 19 to 17, in the 20 point rating system of the GaultMillau. That guide has gained in prestige and power in recent years.

“He said, ‘If I lose a star, I’ll kill myself,”’ said another three-star chef, Jacques Lameloise, who has a restaurant in Chagny in the Saone-et-Loire region.

Paul Bocuse, who said he spoke with Loiseau three times a week, predicted that the chef’s death would raise longer-term questions about the ratings system.

“I am sure that Bernard was very affected by the loss of these two points. We should not allow ourselves to be manipulated like that – I give you a star, I take one away,” Bocuse said. “These critics are like eunuchs: They know what to do but they can’t do it.”

He added: “The profession is going to react.”

Loiseau’s widow, Dominique, said her husband had recently been very tired and had not taken a holiday in years.

Loiseau was an innovator in the world of gastronomy, the only French chef traded on the stock exchange. The shares were suspended until further notice today.

The chef also had a line of frozen foods, three restaurants in Paris and a boutique near his Cote d’Or” restaurant.

The Bernard Loiseau company said it would go on despite Loiseau’s “sudden” death, with the various establishments shutting down only for the funeral, likely to be held Friday.

[Lil'freeper]

These critics are like eunuchs:

Takes one to know one!

[aculeus]

Actually this happened once before. In the 1960's I dined at a one-star restaurant called La Boullabaisse in an unfashionable Paris location. The food was "okay" the decor was dark and depressing and the tables were nearly all unoccupied.

A few months later, back in the States, I read that the owner had killed himself after Michelin removed his one star.

It's not only food.

[Positive]

"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying Nothing."
-- William Shakespeare

[paul51]

If I lose a star, I’ll kill myself

You gotta like a guy who says what he does and does what he says. On the other hand, since he lost two stars, he should have taken his out.

[Alouette]

The French have rifles???

I'm sure you meant to say trifles.

[8mmMauser]

I used to watch the locals do a "battre" across from our window, when we lived in a farm in France. I knew the "hunters". They would line up in a row, blow a bugle and stomp across the fields, woods and brambles.

The little deer in the woods would be only the ones planted for the purpose! Whether deer or pheasants the game was just enough for the shoot. Nothing remained long afterwards. Pheasants would wander in to our yard and join the chickens, tame as can be. None would survive the winter, replete with raptors, owls, few game.

They had just as much fun doing a battre with foxes.

One person would get the chance to blast the deer. Then they would all celebrate the killing. I have talked with the locals for hours. Never a one could come close to understand how we view hunting.

Despite the friends and some decent ones, I cannot stand Socialist France. The stereotypes we read here do not start to do justice to the truly ridiculous ones extant.

[xp38]

Monty Python Scripts


Restaurant Sketch

The cast:

WIFE
Carol Cleveland
MAN
Graham Chapman
WAITER
Terry Jones
HEAD WAITER
Michael Palin
MANAGER
Eric Idle
COOK
John Cleese

The sketch:

(Scene : A couple are seated at a table in a restaurant.)

Wife: It's nice here, isn't it?

Man: Oh, very good restaurant, three stars you know.

Wife: Really?

Man: Mmm...

Waiter: Good evening, sir! Good evening, madam! And may I say what a pleasure it is to see you
here again, sir!

Man: Oh thank you. Well there you are dear. Have a look there, anything you like. The boeuf en
croute is fantastic.

Waiter: Oh if I may suggest, sir ... the pheasant à la reine, the sauce is one of the chefs most
famous creations.

Man: Em... that sounds good. Anyway just have a look... take your time. Oh, er by the way - got a bit
of a dirty fork, could you ... er·.. get me another one?

Waiter: I beg your pardon.

Man: Oh it's nothing ... er, I've got a fork a little bit dirty. Could you get me another one? Thank you.

Waiter: Oh ... sir, 1 do apologize.

Man: Oh, no need to apologize, it doesn't worry me.

Waiter: Oh no, no, no, I do apologize. I will fetch the head waiter immediatement.

Man: Oh, there's no need to do that!

Waiter: Oh, no no... I'm sure the head waiter, he will want to apologize to you himself. I will fetch him
at once.

Wife: Well, you certainly get good service here.

Man: They really look after you... yes.

Head Waiter: Excuse me monsieur and madame. (examines the fork) It's filthy, Gaston ... find out
who washed this up, and give them their cards immediately.

Man: Oh, no, no.

Head Waiter: Better still, we can't afford to take any chances, sack the entire washing-up staff.

Man: No, look I don't want to make any trouble.

Head Waiter: Oh, no please, no trouble. It's quite right that you should point these kind of things out.
Gaston, tell the manager what has happened immediately! (The Waiter runs off)

Man: Oh, no I don't want to cause any fuss.

Head Waiter: Please, it's no fuss. I quite simply wish to ensure that nothing interferes with your
complete enjoyment of the meal.

Man: Oh I'm sure it won't, it was only a dirty fork.

Head Waiter: I know. And I'm sorry, bitterly sorry, but I know that... no apologies I can make can alter
the fact that in our restaurant you have been given a dirty, filthy, smelly piece of cutlery...

Man: It wasn't smelly.

Head Waiter: It was smelly, and obscene and disgusting and I hate it, I hate it ,.. nasty, grubby, dirty,
mingy, scrubby little fork. Oh ... oh . . . oh . . . (runs off in a passion as the manager comes to the
table)

Manager: Good evening, sir, good evening, madam. I am the manager. I've only just heard . .. may I
sit down?

Man: Yes, of course.

Manager: I want to apologize, humbly, deeply, and sincerely about the fork.

Man: Oh please, it's only a tiny bit... I couldn't see it.

Manager: Ah you're good kind fine people, for saying that, but I can see it.., to me it's like a
mountain, a vast bowl of pus.

Man: It's not as bad as that.

Manager: It gets me here. I can't give you any excuses for it - there are no excuses. I've been
meaning to spend more time in the restaurant recendy, but I haven't been too well ,.. (emotionally)
things aren'tgoing very well back there. The poor cook's son has been put away again, and poor old
Mrs Dalrymple who does the washing up can hardly move her poor fingers, and then there's
Gilberto's war wound - but they're good people, and they're kind people, and together we were
beginning to get over this dark patch ... there was light at the end of the tunnel . .. now this . .. now
this...

Man: Can I get you some water?

Manager: (in tears) It's the end of the road!!

(The cook comes in; he is very big and comes a meat cleaver.)

Cook: (shouting) You bastards! You vicious, heartless bastards! Look what you've done to him!
He's worked his fingers to the bone to make this place what it is, and you come in with your petty
feeble quibbling and you grind him into the dirt, this fine, honourable Man, whose boots you are not
worthy to kiss. Oh... it makes me mad... mad! (slams cleaver into the table)

(The head waiter comes in and tn'es to restrain him. )

Head Waiter: Easy, Mungo, easy... Mungo... (clutches his head in agony) the war wound!... the
wound... the wound...

Manager: This is the end! The end! Aaargh!! (stabs himself with the fork)

Cook: They've destroyed him! He's dead!! They killed him!!! (goes completely mad)

Head Waiter: (trying to restrain him) Mungo... never kill a customer. (in pain) Oh . .. the wound! The
wound! (he and the cook fight furioasly and fall over the table)

(On the Screen a Caption appears - 'AND NOW THE PUNCH-LINE')

Man: Lucky we didn't say anything about the dirty knife...

[Salvation]

**Uh--suicide is usually a sign of deep, underlying problems and to blame something or someone external to that person is rediculous.**

BTTT!

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Emeril Lagasse would've said "@#&* 'em", and opened three more gourmet restaurants, attesting the wonderfulness of healthy portions, pork fat, garlic, salt, and spices.

[Sloth]

Top 5 Signs Your Chef is Suicidal:

5.) Teardrops in the bouillabaisse.

4.) Copies of Suicidal Chef magazine conspicuously scattered about the kitchen.

3.) Spends too much time with head stuck in oven.

2.) Gives away his wire whisk.

1.) Binges on Velveeta and Ritz crackers.

[RIGHT IN SEATTLE]

put salt on his snail

[verity]

It seems that self inflicted food poisoning would have been more appropriate.

[It's me]

I am sure that Bernard was very affected by the loss of these two points

I am sure that Bernard was very affected by more that just the loss of these two points!

[general_re]

Why didn't he kill himself after he lost on iron chef?

Judging by the way he finally did himself in, it's because he was an ignorant gaijin, unschooled in the ways of honorable seppuku. Don't let this happen to you - "Seppuku - A Practical Guide".

[GailA]

Maybe they discovered his Blue Stained Apron??????????????

[CaptainJustice]

Is that for real? It sounds like an onion article, or an episode of the simpsons. "If they give me four stars, I'll just die!" I'm worried about my corrupt state government running CA into the ground, gas prices are huge, I'm worried about the repurcussions of this war (it has to be done, but it will be scary for a time) and this frenchy kills himself over a review from "all-powerful food critics". Life-imitates-satire...

[Dog Gone]

This is for real, and apparently it's the equivalent of Martha Stewart blowing her brains out for making a bad salad. This guy was also publicly traded on the French Wall Street.

[sonofatpatcher2]

[norraad]

Oh, mon diuex, I love Velveeta & Ritz, I didn't realize I was depressed, oh, well, good-bye cruel world

..cue violin & crumbs....

[Miss Marple]

The star rating of restaurants in France is not really understood here. The star rating confers prestige and honor, and also guarantees a tidy income from foreign tourists, who consult the rating book.

The loss of a star is the equivalent to a designer's collection being trashed by the fashion critics. (Also serious, because this guarantees no spreads in the magazines, no orders for the ready-to-wear from the department stores, and nasty back-biting by the fashion elite.)

What this guy was looking at was a loss of income, both from his restaurants and in stock value, as well as HUMILIATION amongst his peers. We don't understand it because our chefs are more like Emeril in temperament, and care more about popular opinion than critics. France is, once again, a breed apart and as my father often said, "There's something not quite right about them."