My Niece is Scheduled to Have an Abortion Today

Skooz | 1.30.2003 | Skooz

[Skooz]

Please forgive the vanity.

I received this email from my mom yesterday morning. Amanda is my niece. She is 18 years old and she lives with my parents. She just started college on a full paid academic scholarship:

Hi, Just wanted to fill you in on the latest around here. Miss Amanda is dropping school because she's...............................are you ready................ take a breath....................pregnant. She's going with her boyfriend tomorrow for counseling before having an abortion. His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again. She wants him more than anything, so that's probably what she'll do. It's been a bad few days around here. She was going to wait until the end of the quarter (March) to tell us, but she got real sick a few weeks ago and came home. I think part of it was the flu, and part "baby" sickness. She still doesn't feel well. One of the worse things is he won't be 17 until April. So anyway.......I thought I'd give you a little shock to have with your coffee. I'll keep you updated.

Of course, we are stunned. I am really seeking some advice about what I can do or say. My entire family (except for Amanda) is staunchly pro-life. Her mother is beside herself.

Oh, and how about the "His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again" thing? How about it pro-choicers? She is being coerced into having an abortion she doesn't really want. She has said (in other correspondence) that she wants to keep the baby. Her "choice" is being made by the father's parents, who want to be spared the embarassment.

She went to see a "counselor" at an abortion clinic yesterday, and they scheduled the "procedure" for today. Of course, the "counselor" at the abortuary is just a salesperson whose job it is to sell abortions.

Anyway, I have run out of options. I have prayed and will continue to do so. I have offered to adopt the baby and have referred her to a wonderful woman who has dedicated her life to finding good homes for children who would otherwise have been aborted, but my niece is not interested. She is ready to have her baby killed to make her boyfriend's parents happy.

I really don't know what else to say. God help us.

[cicero's_son]

40,000,000? Is that really true?

Do you know how many have been performed in Europe, by any chance?

[Concerned]

ANAMERICANMOTHER WROTE: "Oh, Skooz, I am so sorry for you and your family, and for her, and especially for that little baby...I know that you did your best to dissuade her...There are some people that are bullheaded and cannot be persuaded. They have to learn things the hard way. I guess she's one of them...But God's mercy is infinite."

God already knew what the outcome was going to be. Indeed, He also knows whether He will use her to have a life-changing realization about what she really did to her pre-born baby, so that she can become a PRO-LIFE BEACON for others.

I KNOW that hardened Pro-abortion hearts can be changed. Mine did! Back in 1974, I had college assignment to do a simulated radio broadcast on a controversial topic and I picked abortion to put those "pro-life nuts" to shame. I THOUGHT it would be a piece of cake!

But because we could not give a biased presentation, I actually had just forced myself to honestly investigate what those "pro-life nuts" believed and WHY they believed such balony.

When I examined the FACTS, I became PRO-LIFE overnight!!! And I've been VERY outspoken about it ever since, inspite of our first child having been born with significant mental and physical disabilities, four miscarriages in my 40's and another child born (very smart for her age) just before I turned 44 (it took me many years to be able to convince my husband to have any more kids).

Rest assured that no matter what we humans do, God is in control and that it is nothing for Him to be able to restore that baby for the next life. Thankfully, God knows what He is doing.

[wimpycat]

There are some people that are bullheaded and cannot be persuaded. They have to learn things the hard way. I guess she's one of them. But God's mercy is infinite.

Well put.

[GovernmentShrinker]

She's making her own choice -- choosing her relationship with her 16 year old boyfriend over having the baby (even though she could have it adopted by a generous and caring family member). AND she's choosing to drop out of college -- not to be a mother, but to continue running around with this 16 year old boy (who she'll no doubt forget all about within a few months). I can see choosing to continue a serious education over having the baby (and choosing that a lot earlier) -- but choosing to dump BOTH!?!?!

Sounds like this girl doesn't have two brain cells to rub together. How on earth did she qualify for a scholarship? The moral of this story is that if you have an air-headed, emotionally immature daughter of reproductive age, make absolutely sure to get her set up with and IUD, Norplant, or some other long-term contraceptive. Sadly, it's too late for that in this case.

[wimpycat]

Sadly, it's too late for that in this case.

It's not exactly too late...what if it happens again? Something tells me this won't be the last time she gets pregnant.

[GovernmentShrinker]

Or, if it's such an earth-shakingly important relationship to her, that's she's convinced will be so for the rest of her life, how about suggesting she wait a whole 15 months to see him again? When he's 18, his obnoxious parents won't have any say in who he does or doesn't see. (Hint: because deep down, she knows perfectly well that he'll forget all about her by then, but she's still stupid enough to abort a baby she wants to keep AND quit college, in a silly attempt to keep this relationship going).

[GovernmentShrinker]

Probably not by the same kid though. I'm pretty sure his parents will keep him away from her, even if she does have the abortion. (Skooz: if it hasn't already been done, this little point ought to be made to your bird-brained niece -- ask her if she's really prepared to lose the baby, the college education, AND this boy).

[twigs]

I am so sorry to hear of the death of your niece's baby. Amanda is going to need you all the more now. She needs to be forgiven as God forgives her. First, of course, she needs to understand her need for forgiveness and that may not come for some time. To get there, she will just need a lot of love. I doubt she'll get it from the family that financed the murder.

[GovernmentShrinker]

If the girl hadn't (per Skooz) said that she wants to keep the baby, and is only having the abortion because the boyfriend's parents have set that as a condition for continuing to see him, I'd agree with you. But it sounds as if the family was desperately trying to convince the girl not to do something that SHE really doesn't want to do, knowing that her reasons for doing it are childish and will evaporate quickly, and will leave her with some serious regrets (and quite possibly some justifed anger at parents, along the lines of "why didn't you stop me?").

[NEPA]

Don't take this wrong but shouldn't she be charged with raping a minor?

In most states there has to be at least a 3 year age difference. Obviously laws vary though.

[JudgemAll]

This is ridiculous, THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE KID.!!!! THEY CANNOT DO THAT!! OR DO THEY WANT TO GO TO JAIL IF THEY FLEE FROM THEIR RESPONSIBILITY!!! WHAT GIVES??? THIS IS A WOMAN'S SOCIETY!!! ALL THE POWER TO HER AND THE CHILD!!!!

THis is a no brainer, IMO, but then people have ulterior motives that are often strange. Is the kid a foreigner?

Better late than never though... but were you able to at least delay her!!!!??? GEES, let her see a lawyer or something before her decision, an independent counsel!!!

[JudgemAll]

Sorry to hear that. Sue'em back. She can fix this problem by suing them arses back!!! THEY EXTORTED HER AND BRIBED HER!!!

[twyn1]

I found this thread yesterday and prayed and prayed that the baby would not be aborted -- I am so very sorry to read that Amanda went thru' the procedure after all -- I know that her baby now rests in the arms of a lovng God, but I am so sad for you and the rest of your family -- I pray that you will all be given peace eventually and can find it within yourselves to forgive Amanda and continue to love her...she is young and was forced to make a horrible decision by very selfish people, but someday she will need to know that you stand by her, even if you did not agree with her decision...I think the folks on here who are predicting that her boyfriend will be out of the picture soon are right, and then she will need her family more than ever

[evad]

40,000,000? Is that really true?

I got that number (40,000,000) from a talk show host and got the below stats from abortionfacts.com.

Reported number of legal induced abortions, abortion ratios, abortion rates, and characteristics of women who obtained legal induced abortions -- United States, selected years, 1976-1995.
1976=988,267
1980=1,297,606
1985=1,328,570
1990=1,429,577
1991=1,388,937
1992=1,359,145
1993=1,330,414
1994=1,267,415
1995=1,210,883

As you can see, it wouldn't take long at those rates to accumulate 40 mil ;(

[evad]

I should add, those numbers are since the infamous Roe v Wade.

I don't know about Europe or the rest of the world.

[Lorianne]

His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again.

I guess that make his parents pro- "CHOICE"?

Typical.

[snowstorm12]

I don't think this girl wanted any baby until they started their counseling/propaganda. She specifically stated she would rather have an abortion than choose adoption. That's not wanting a baby. Personally I think the boy's parents are the only ones sensible in this whole ordeal. Their kid is only 16 years old for cryin out loud. Why create a baby to full term when you don't have to. I don't believe for a minute she really wanted a baby at this time or she would've never went through with it. If you have to convince someone to want something, they don't really want it. Secondly by having this baby should could be changing fate, she may never meet her future rich husband and have the gorgeous triplets she was suppose to have. If she gets married to this idiot she will probably end up with nothing and her aborted fetus would end up being a dangerous criminal. What ifs are just that, this so called baby never existed anymore than a woman's egg she loses every month is a potential baby. Besides there is no way to know if the pregnancy would've went along to full term without miscarrying anyways. It was just a maybe baby.

Secondly constantly making statements like murder and dead baby is mental abuse. It is unhealthy to tell women this, that is why many women become so confused with self loathing, they crack up later in life. Just like those girls think they're fat because some boy said they were so they starve themselves to death. Many of the people in mental wards have serious religious obsessions that usually had to do with their family.

Here is some real good advice and that should've happened long ago and this whole ordeal would've been just a bad dream. Just the fact alone that she's living with grandparents is a RED FLAG! I really don't know but the family situation is obviously messed up which is a precursor to young girls getting knocked up. I doubt this girl has ever been to a gyno appointment. She should've been dragged there once she started dating. Once girls start having sex they're suppose to go for the pap test and checkups every year anyways. All girls should be dragged there once they start dating because hormones + love = sex. Virginity pledges go out the window the minute they think they're in love because the boys convince them that should have sex or else they will break up. They will continue to have sex that's a given. While she's there she should get a std test because this young cassanova probably has been around and have her doctor counsel her on responsible sex and get her on any number of hormone method which are like 99.8 as long as she takes them EXACTLY. They have the patch now which you put on once a week. Along with the the hormonal birth control she should be using several backup methods. A condom should be used everytime anyways or other over the counter methods and it will be a cold day in hell before she gets knocked up. This boy obviously doesn't want anything to do with a condom so it's up to her and he probably convinces her to do anything and everything his way.

[snowstorm12]

its a lot more than that. Every hormonal birth control method on the market prevents a conception from attaching. Amanda is no different than girls on the pill except that these despised "abortion girls" need the help of a doctor.

[Old Professer]

Yep - good ol' juicy family gossip, where everybody can be mean and put on the mantle of righteousness while doing it...

Tugging on your own petard again, I see.