Posted on 01/30/2003 5:06:38 AM PST by Skooz
Please forgive the vanity.
I received this email from my mom yesterday morning. Amanda is my niece. She is 18 years old and she lives with my parents. She just started college on a full paid academic scholarship:
Hi, Just wanted to fill you in on the latest around here. Miss Amanda is dropping school because she's...............................are you ready................ take a breath....................pregnant. She's going with her boyfriend tomorrow for counseling before having an abortion. His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again. She wants him more than anything, so that's probably what she'll do. It's been a bad few days around here. She was going to wait until the end of the quarter (March) to tell us, but she got real sick a few weeks ago and came home. I think part of it was the flu, and part "baby" sickness. She still doesn't feel well. One of the worse things is he won't be 17 until April. So anyway.......I thought I'd give you a little shock to have with your coffee. I'll keep you updated.
Of course, we are stunned. I am really seeking some advice about what I can do or say. My entire family (except for Amanda) is staunchly pro-life. Her mother is beside herself.
Oh, and how about the "His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again" thing? How about it pro-choicers? She is being coerced into having an abortion she doesn't really want. She has said (in other correspondence) that she wants to keep the baby. Her "choice" is being made by the father's parents, who want to be spared the embarassment.
She went to see a "counselor" at an abortion clinic yesterday, and they scheduled the "procedure" for today. Of course, the "counselor" at the abortuary is just a salesperson whose job it is to sell abortions.
Anyway, I have run out of options. I have prayed and will continue to do so. I have offered to adopt the baby and have referred her to a wonderful woman who has dedicated her life to finding good homes for children who would otherwise have been aborted, but my niece is not interested. She is ready to have her baby killed to make her boyfriend's parents happy.
I really don't know what else to say. God help us.
I don't know his parents, but I'm thinking that they don't want to be financially responsible for this baby for 18 years...
I drove to my parent's house and Amanda was still sleeping. My parents were upset, so we talked for a long while. Soon after Amanda woke, the boy came over to take her to the abortion clinic. My mom got very emotional and pleaded with her to reconsider and not kill the baby. She began to cry and Amanda started yelling and things got quite emotional. My step-father recently suffered heart failure so he just went in the backyard to avoid it all. His heart has been through more than enough the past few days and this kind of stress could literally kill him.
My sister called and started crying over the phone. My mom got too emotional and handed the phone to me. Through my sister's sobs I heard her say that the baby is due September 6 -- one year to the day when my father died. She sees that as some sort of sign and it just served to make her more upset.
Amanda and the boy went to her room, with my mom standing outside her door almost begging her not to kill her baby. I went in the room, closed the door, and tried to calm Amanda down. I asked her to relax a minute and to listen. Amazed at my calm, I offered to take her to the Crisis Pregnancy Center for another opinion. She refused. I told her that she would regret an abortion for the rest of her life. I told her how her aunt (my wife) is still haunted by the abortion she had 15-16 years ago. Amanda's response was that she would regret having a baby, too. When I brought up the option of adoption, she dismissed it, saying she would rather have an abortion than give her baby away. She wanted to have and keep the baby, but since that option had been ruled out by the boy's parents, she would rather have the abortion. I said everything I could say. I told her many of the things offered on your posts,. But, her mind was made up. Keeping the boy was more important than allowing her baby to live.
My mom pulled up a picture of an 8 week old fetus and forced them both to look at it, but they were unmoved. She grew almost hysterical, begging her not to kill the baby; telling her that abortion is murder, and that those who commit abortions are murderers.
When it was time to go, they walked out the door, got in his car and left.
As they were leaving, I prayed that something would go wrong-- a flat tire, power failure, a change of heart, the Apocolypse -- anything. I stayed at my parent's house for about another hour and came home.
I fervently hope she did not go through with it.
It doesn't sound good. I know your family is all torn up about this. But, ultimately, it is her decision. You all did what you could to dissuade her, but free will means we are all free to choose wrong.
All we can do at this point is pray, for her and for her little baby. God bless and comfort you.
I fervently hope she doesn't/didn't go through with it. My prayers will be with you, Amanda, and her baby.
If this girl comes home from this horrible day to people calling her "murderer" then what kind of family are you? Family forgives. Family loves. Period. In addition to the world losing out on a wonderful soul today, someone you love and too young to know better lost her way. She needs your love (tough love) and compassion now that her decision is final. In her mind she is not a murderer today. You are all right...she will regret this...but now her life is at stake too. This kind of experience can lead to all kinds of problems....most with unhappy endings.
That won't happen. That isn't how we do things in my family. She will be as loved and accepted as ever. She has always been, and will always remain, the apple of my parent's eyes.
How horribly selfish people can be to choose the death of another over their own discomfort. IMO, if you treat her exactly as before and she shows no remorse, you are condoning the murder.
I really don't know what else to say. God help us.
Were I confronted by this in my family, I would be on the road, or in the air to wherever.
If possible, I would physically restrain a neice who was about to murder her child.
CP forgot a Clymer alert.
Take yor dribble to another thread. Folks are trying to help here
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