Where have all the good men gone?

MSNBC.Com ^ | Jan 24, 2003 | MSNBC.Com

[Bobby777]

Jan. 24 — Today in America, there are three times as many women between 30 and 34 who have never married than there were in the 1970s, which helps explain the popularity of singleton books and movies like “Bridget Jones’ Diary” and TV shows like “Sex and the City.” So is it cool to be over 30, sexy, single and smart or are such women too smart for their own good? In her new book, author Barbara Dafoe Whitehead explores “Why There Are No Good Men Left.” She discusses the book on “Today.” Read an excerpt below.

[LisaAnne]

Well, don't hurt yourself.

[RobRoy]

I think that post nails it. Unfortunately it takes a type of courage that most men of this culture cannot afford.

Real men must be on their guard. If it comes out too much at work, etc. they can lose their jobs. It took me a long time to trust in the Lord and REALLY do what I think is right and let the chips fall where they may.

Reaching that level shifted my life into high gear, with more than just my marriage.

[swarthyguy]

If you're assertive, you're insecure. If you disagree, you're uncaring.

if you get mad, you have an anger control problem.

If you don't give a sh*t about the new doilies, you're an uncaring chauvinist....

Or you're just a wimpy pissant. Just can't win.

[CyberCowboy777]

I've found men are either passive or violent.

Where the hell are you shopping?

While I admit that many of "today's" men are wimpy and conforming, I cannot think back to one self-confident, strong, achieving male in my past that was also violent.

Only wimps hit girls and only weaklings can't control their emotions.

[John Lenin]

The men you seek are going to have strong opinions so you choose guys who you can dominate and than get bored with them when you realize there is no challenge to the relationship. It's sounds like you are a domineering person, most guys do not just haul off and hit women, there has to be a reason. I have never had to hit a woman, than again I'm very cautious on who I date.

[RobRoy]

That is an extremely valid point. I've found that for me, people either love me or hate me.

I'm fine with that.

[swarthyguy]

And if everything else fails, there's always Onanism.

[Dead Dog]

If I find a man who seems masculine, he has a huge temper/control problem.

The wimps are the dangerous ones.

[Little Bill]

blow jobs, not a wife

If I wanted a BJ, they are easy to come by, that is not a problem, seems to be all the rage among the younger set.

Home is where you can be you and be accepted as you with out compitition and arguement.

[MadIvan]

Why do I require that? Because, I'm a sponge knowledge ..and I think that I can be a wicked good foil, in terms of having a good self effacing sense of humour, and I also possess a damn good old Irish down to earth kick in the arse upbringing.

Which a Brit would find appealing as a contrast. ;)

It means I already know enough (actually more than most women in America, I imagine) in terms of world affairs, and yet crave to learn more. The man I settle with (I think I have found him! *S*), will always be able to teach me stuff. (As I will him, just in a different sense)

And I've already learned a lot from you, love.

Love, Ivan

[RobRoy]

>>The American Cowboy is disappearing fast. <<

I was on a motorcycle ride through eastern Washington a couple of years ago and rode into a small town (Quincy). It was about 100 degrees and I went to a park with trees and drank some bottled water.

It was eerie. I consciously felt like a cowboy in the old west.

I guess I'm a little off topic here...

[sonserae]

Your response is totally offensive. You are saying that a woman deserves to be hit. Most women in abusive relationships are passive doormats not strong women so your theory is very wrong. Do not throw opinions out about who I am, you do not know me.

[weikel]

Damn lately it seems like im a real bada** around here.

[RobRoy]

>>You have an arrangement, that in a disagreement after all sides have been heard, one person makes the final decision. <<

Yeah, it's the Biblical patriarchal thing. It is also very freeing for her!

[Woahhs]

If a man has integrity, all other things fall into place. Men haven't come through...and as a result, women have had to be totally self-reliant and thus untrusting.

That has to be the single most vain statement on this entire thread, with possible exceptions for the article itself. No wonder you're still looking. You can't see anymore of yourself than what a mirror will show.

[John Lenin]

You wear your persona on your cuff hon. It wasn't hard to figure you out. lol

[LisaAnne]

There has to be someone in the family that makes the final decision. I suppose one of the adults is preferable to the family dog. ;o)

[RobRoy]

>>I'm talking about a confident, masculine male that celebrates both partners being the best they can be and enjoying those God given talents with each other.<<

Now I know why RobroysWoman married me! I could never respect and marry a woman who would settle for less...

[sonserae]

Why would you be offended at such a statement? Does a man having integrity threaten you somehow?

[Search4Truth]

Thanks, I feel better now. :)

Believe or not, there are some good and honorable men who seek only to find, the best way they can, a traditional women with whom they can have a succesful marriage.

There are good women in the world, with traditional values, who want these middled aged love starved men - after American women have decided they do not. No losss to them anyway, I suppose. Does that make you feel better?