[Puppage]

Arrested by a Library Cop?

[strela]

Kevin Crookman was five years overdue on returning three books to the Clearwater Public Library.

Hmmm ... was the title of one of the books "Dianetics" by L. Ron Hubbard?

[aimhigh]

I consider libraries a socialist way of avoiding buying books. The author gets no royalty, etc. If they did this with videos, the industry would scream.

[Protagoras]

Public libraries are wealth redistribution.

[TomServo]

"You took this book out in 1971. Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella!

Let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot! Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better?

Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or... maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

You'd better not screw up again, Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pitbull on a poodle!"

[moyden]

As often as libraries screw up their paperwork, I'd stay away from them.

[Boot Hill]

"A man who had overdue library books was arrested."

So what?

--Boot Hill

[Boxsford]

How come nobody is noticing that this guy was a passenger in the car. Since when do passengers have to turn over their licenses to a cop? Whatever would the reason be? Backseat driving?

[Consort]

I feel a lot safer now. Throw the book at him.

[waterstraat]

This could be added into a remake of Alices Restaurant.

"Why didnt the army draft you kid?"

"I had some overdue books once."

[krb]

Book 'im, Danno!

[Hostage]

"Your tickets sir and passport."

Ok, here they are.

(Enters flight and passenger codes)
"Uh...sir eh..."
(Picks up the counter phone)
"Yes, this is T# #47 we have a PA code 7"
"MR. Bookman sir,uh it'll be just a minute. Would you stand over here while I wait on the next passenger?"

What's the problem?

"Just a minute sir, please stand over here, thank you."

(Several minutes later a federal TSA agent appears)

"Mr. Bookman, the CAAPS computer indicates there is a problem. Here is copy of the travel hold. Please call the number listed within. By law we must inform you that you will not be permitted to travel until you contact the number listed and get clearance. In the meantime, we must retain your passport."

(Looking with shock at the paper just handed to him he reads:)

HOMETOWN PUBLIC LIBRARY PROPERTY ALERT. CONTACT TSA (800)URBUSTED.

[null and void]

Florida Man Arrested On Overdue Library Book Charges

Is this a great country or what...