You Know You Are Married To A Freeper When……

me

[LadyShallott]

You Know You Are Married To A Freeper When……

All of your family portraits are in the computer room

You can only see the back of your spouse’s head in your family portraits because they are reading the breaking news.

Eating dinner as a family means pulling a chair up to the computer desk

Finding a new place to dine means actually eating at the dining room table.

Your spouse can tell you news from around the world but can’t tell you what the local weather is like.

When you utter the phrase “Hold muh beer alert” and your spouse is the only one that thinks it’s funny.

Your spouse has a folder on the desktop entitled “Freaks Of The Day Pics” and you know what that means.

You tell your husband that you are in labor and he says “ Hold on, I need to take a shower”.

Your spouse asked for a Hillary Clinton voodoo doll for Christmas.

You actually went to Wal-Mart and asked if they carried them.

You think Clintons real name is Klintoon.

That on your wall of pictures is Jesus, the kids and President Bush

Your Spouses “To Do” List:

Post a thread Mow The Lawn Get Some Milk Donate To Free Republic

You hear your spouse singing the national anthem to your newborn instead of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.

In the heat of passion you call out your spouses screen name because you have forgotten his real one.

Your husband asks you to take out a nice piece of silver and you go to the gun rack.

[Kerberos]

"Your wife attends a Christmas party by herself and when people ask her, "where's your husband"? She replies, "he had some freeping to catch up on.""

Don't laugh, that's what I did this year, and that's what my wife told people at the party.

[Libertina]

In the heat of passion you call out your spouses screen name because you have forgotten his real one.
ROTFLOL

[snippy_about_it]

I think my husband is jealous that I already know the news. He always starts out telling me a story by saying, "Well, you probably already read this on Free Republic, but..."

And yes, if he wants to eat dinner with me, he has to join me at the computer. I actually have my computer in the family room in view of the eating area and kitchen, so we are kind of together. :)

[snippy_about_it]

You have time for sex? LOL.

[Focault's Pendulum]

Very nicely done!!!!

If I might humbly add one of my own.

You Know you're a Freeper when:
Someone asks you if you've read Foucault's Pendulum, and you reply...why, what has he done this time.

[LadyShallott]

When he goes to the bathroom at 2 AM, you hear keyboard clacking before he comes back to bed.

ROFL! This is something that I can say really happens here in this house ALL the time. If he gets up I ask him when he is coming back in hours not minutes.

[dighton]

"If FR had wanted me to have a wife, they'd have issued me one."

[GOPJ]

Great post. Let's hear from you more often...

"I don't often post here as my husband, chance33_98, is logged in and I use his handle. This one is from me though :)"

[DaughterofEve]

These are excellent! People need pinging!

[chance33_98]

If FR had wanted me to have a wife, they'd have issued me one."

A word to the wise for all. Had I followed that advice my first wife would not have happend :) Happily she has been replaced by a far superior model, far above the standard issue.

God, Family, Country, FR - the foundation of all things good :)

[dware]

When he goes to the bathroom at 2 AM, you hear keyboard clacking before he comes back to bed.

LOL! The other day my wife was talking to a friend about how she doesn't get any sleep anymore. She went on to explain that she couldn't count the number of times she would wake up at 2, 3 or 4 or in the morning to the sounds of me clacking away at the keyboard.

Sure am glad I ain't the only one!

[blam]

"I miss the days of Twin peaks...."

What is twin peaks?

[chance33_98]

What is twin peaks?

A TV show by David Lynch. Bizzare in some aspects. A quick google will reveal that there are still many fans out there. The first season is on DVD, although the pilot isn't (unless you count some from other countries and pirated versions). There was also a movie, Fire Walk with Me (also on DVD, though they may release a new version someday with all the cut scenes - some sort of argument over who owns what parts).

Well worth watching IMHO!

[Auntie Mame]

Brilliant! (and very very funny)

[tubebender]

How do I delete this thread before my wife comes in from mowing the lawn ???

[cmsgop]

I as you know am a Huge "Twin Peaks" Fan also a David Lynch fan as well.

[guitfiddlist]

..when he won't come to dinner until all the "New Posts To You" have been answered, argued and re-argued, until late into the early morning hours.

[Happygal]

You know you are DATING a Freeper when he calls you (or text messages you) when you are out clubbing with your girlfriends to tell you the latest breaking news! :-)

[diotima]

I think we might move the Foreman grill in the study. And the espresso machine.

[Ann Archy]

Brilliant!!!

May I add to this??

They know "who" and "What" a clymer is.

They have forgotten the real way to spell Whorealdo.