You Know You Are Married To A Freeper When……

me

[LadyShallott]

You Know You Are Married To A Freeper When……

All of your family portraits are in the computer room

You can only see the back of your spouse’s head in your family portraits because they are reading the breaking news.

Eating dinner as a family means pulling a chair up to the computer desk

Finding a new place to dine means actually eating at the dining room table.

Your spouse can tell you news from around the world but can’t tell you what the local weather is like.

When you utter the phrase “Hold muh beer alert” and your spouse is the only one that thinks it’s funny.

Your spouse has a folder on the desktop entitled “Freaks Of The Day Pics” and you know what that means.

You tell your husband that you are in labor and he says “ Hold on, I need to take a shower”.

Your spouse asked for a Hillary Clinton voodoo doll for Christmas.

You actually went to Wal-Mart and asked if they carried them.

You think Clintons real name is Klintoon.

That on your wall of pictures is Jesus, the kids and President Bush

Your Spouses “To Do” List:

Post a thread Mow The Lawn Get Some Milk Donate To Free Republic

You hear your spouse singing the national anthem to your newborn instead of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.

In the heat of passion you call out your spouses screen name because you have forgotten his real one.

Your husband asks you to take out a nice piece of silver and you go to the gun rack.

[TigersEye]

I think I'm going to get in touch with JimRob and request he shut down FR every Sat. between 11:00 -11:30pm for 'maintenance'.

I think Tooters (hold on a minute - darned cat)...............
ok, I was saying; Tooters may have stumbled on another solution.

Position the mirror to see the monitor!

[sweetliberty]

And they think that there are 2 major political parties; Republicans and Rats.

[Straight Vermonter]

How do I delete this thread before my wife comes in from mowing the lawn ???

What I would give to be able to mow the lawn right now!

[TC Rider]

The only Saturday morning he's not Freeping, he's at the gun show.

[aeronca]

And a carefully positioned mirror by the computer so I can watch television (Fox News), the children, and the front door without having to turn around.

You gotta fix THAT! get a video card and hook your cable to your PC so you can freep and watch the news at the same time! You can make the cable TV screen any size you want on your monitor. I have a large, flat, high reso monitor that is much better than a TV screen. We watch most of the evening news (FNC) from my PC cause it's closer to the diningroom table. My PC is central to dining area, & front door....LOL..I'm all set! If you minimize the PC/TV window on my screen, FreeRepublic is underneath...

[TigersEye]

.....Then, after a while, he leaves and you can go back to the computer....

You, sir, are much too kind. When our poor kittys bladder just can't take it anymore he sneaks up from behind and sinks his claws into my thigh. No courage there just pure desparation. He would never dream of getting between me and the keyboard. /tongue-in-cheek

[Straight Vermonter]

I won't rest until Clymer is in the dictionary!

Cly-mer 
n. Vulgar Slang 
1. The anus. 
2. A thoroughly contemptible, detestable person. 
3. The most miserable or undesirable place in a particular area

[sweetliberty]

"And a carefully positioned mirror by the computer so I can watch television Fox News........"

I find it a whole easier to have the tv and the monitor in the same line of vision.

[TigersEye]

YKYMTAF when: you are absolutely livid that your spouse has spent the whole day FReeping and you're going to have a series talk with them about it...just as soon as you finish this post.

[Howlin]

You've added a wireless connection so you can get some time OUTSIDE

You are in series trouble.

[Howlin]

...you go on vacation and you confrim internet access before you make reservations

You only have to go on vacation without access ONCE to know how important that is.

I never go ANYWHERE that doesn't have internet access.

[sweetliberty]

"when you get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep until you check your "post to you" on FR"

I do that! LOL!

You know you're a FReeper if:

• You encourage family members to join FR to stay in touch.
• You introduce yourself using your FR screen name.
• You're on a dial-up connection and no one has been able to reach you by phone since 1998.
• There are FReepers in most of your dreams, even if you have no idea what they look like.
• You've considered calling in sick because it was the day you were being featured on FR's finest.
• When visiting friends and family in other states, you have to take care to spend at least as much time with them as with their computers.
• You check "new posts to you" before getting your coffee.
• You experience frequent stiffness in your mouse hand.
• You feel really sorry for people who think that CNN is a real news channel.

[Howlin]

When visiting friends and family in other states, you have to take care to spend at least as much time with them as with their computers.

OMG. Busted.

You experience frequent stiffness in your mouse hand.

Get a Logitech Marble.

You use this:

FR Pager when you're away from the computer!

[Slip18]

Hahahahahahahaha! That was good!

[sweetliberty]

"He would never dream of getting between me and the keyboard."

I usually FReep with my keyboard on my lap, but I set it down if I am just doing a lot of reading. My cat lives for those times when he can jump up on my lap. He knows better than to try it if I have my keyboard in my lap, but he will still sit next to my chair and give me dirty looks and let out a disgusted meow or two.

[sweetliberty]

"FR Pager when you're away from the computer!"

Doesn't eveybody??? I have it set as my homepage. Ever have to get up because you heard it after you were already in bed and couldn't sleep because you were afraid it might be important? LOL!

[sweetliberty]

"...You've added a wireless connection so you can get some time OUTSIDE"

What is this "outside" that you're talking about?

[sweetliberty]

Make that "a whole lot easier"

[Howlin]

When I walk by the computer, I always have this feeling that you are are "in here" doing stuff I need to see. It's like you all live in my monitor!

I'm going to Florida next week for a wedding. Think of me Thursday, driving down I-95 with no access. If war breaks out, you'll find me in the lobby of some seedy hotel, hoping for a TV!

I am going to take my car TV, but it just won't be the same. And I'm particularly worried about 6:30 Friday night and 8:00 Saturday night.....I mean, how could I get up and leave a wedding if war breaks out? :-)

[sweetliberty]

"It's like you all live in my monitor! "

LOL! I know what you mean! And even when I hang out with "real" people, it is usually FReepers.