(HUMOR) "How Many North Koreans Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?"

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Korea/DL20Dg01.html ^

[AmericanInTokyo]

Anyhow, as I was saying, :how many North Koreans does it take to change a lightbulb?" Take your pick:

A: 56. The heroic people's detachment to storm the lightbulb heights (10); the relevant Party section (20); a propaganda art troupe to play light music (25); and a solidarity delegation from Belarus (1).

A: Go out and read under the streetlight like everyone else, comrade. If you can find one working.

A: None. The DPRK wants for nothing. Our lightbulbs, made in our own peculiar style, fully satisfy our people's taste. Only a traitor would seek to change them. When the arduous march is over and the US imperialists defeated, then we shall switch on one, two, many lightbulbs in a blaze of glory.

A: As the Great Leader taught: "Early to bed and early to rise, 20-watt bulbs can damage your eyes." Now off to sleep with you. An empty stomach is good mental training. Tomorrow is another day.

A: As the 'Dear Leader' taught, in his on-the-spot guidance at the Ryanggang No 69 Lightbulb Works: "Whoa, you're a bright one. Bet you gotta lotta watts. You sure turn me on. Light my fire, baby!"

A: Everything is illuminated by the sun's rays of the great Juche idea! We have no need of lightbulb.

A: The lightbulb is a primitive relic of outmoded feudal society. Socialism demands its replacement by the progressive fluorescent tube. Under the Five Year Plan we shall make millions. Eventually.

A: What is a lightbulb, please?

A: Our People's Army will thoroughly smash the perfidious imperialist plot to stir up lightbulb envy, which is nothing but a base ruse to poke searchlights into the DPRK and ferret out state secrets.

A: Only one - but Kim Jong-il must really want to change.

(©2002 Asia Times Online Co, Ltd. All rights reserved. Please contact content@atimes.com for information on our sales and syndication policies.)

[Hoplite]

Yup JSF - hey, what was the status of GP's Ouellette and Collier and US patrols in the DMZ? I was told when I left in '91 that we'd be handing off or reorganizing our (US) responsabilities in the DMZ.

Do you know if they're still ours?

[mykdsmom]

[wimpycat]

For bullsh!tters such as yourself, this writing style is like falling off a log.

[MrsEmmaPeel]

Thank you so much for posting that image! It was a real eye opener!

[Cogadh na Sith]

Yup JSF - hey, what was the status of GP's Ouellette and Collier and US patrols in the DMZ? I was told when I left in '91 that we'd be handing off or reorganizing our (US) responsabilities in the DMZ.

We turned the guards posts over entirely to the ROK's with JSF supervision. In Nov '92. I was part of the last US rotation of troops through the guardposts

I was the Mission Commander for the Freedom Bridge (Imjin River) Bridge as different security platoons rotated through...

It was very exciting. "Stands Alone!"

[Redleg Duke]

WOW! And you wipe your butt with those fingers? :-)

[Bat_Chemist]

That was Sinanju. Close, though...

[Chancellor Palpatine]

I know - its really awful that I have to use them for anything but this true art form.

[HardStarboard]

>>>Rumsfeld said in an interview that when you view the Korean Peninsula at night the South is lit up like a Christmas tree while the North is almost totally dark.<<<

For a spectular picture of the Earth at night - and proof of what Rumsfeld is saying, go to...

http://www.cs.hut.fi/~mox/world-at-night/

North Korea has about 7 lightbulbs on!!

[Hoplite]

So we're still there in the JSA, but the 2nd ID no longer patrols the DMZ... interesting.

So you were on the bridge, huh? I remember being asked how we were going to get back across the river in the event of a war (yer bridge had a life expectancy even shorter than mine, I think) and replying with what I was told - the rally point was the Kim Il Sung statue in Kaesong, not anywhere to the South.

Ah yes, fatalism - just the philosophy needed for the DMZ. = )

[Cogadh na Sith]

So we're still there in the JSA, but the 2nd ID no longer patrols the DMZ... interesting.

Yep, you got it.

So you were on the bridge, huh? I remember being asked how we were going to get back across the river in the event of a war

We used to practice small boat ops at night across the river near the Chun-Jin Bridge. It was scary when there were big chunks of ice in the water and a decent current...

I used to be able to see the Kim Il Sung statue in Kaesong from my hooch--and the big flag in the 'Potemkin Village'. What was the name of that fake NK village?

[Hoplite]

Ki Jong Dong was the North's potemkin village (IIRC) - there was always that "Soldier of Fortune" million dollar reward for absconding with the flag they flew there to consider... = )

We got to practice Zodiac boat drills in a pond across from our QRF.

Happy, happy. Joy, joy.

[AmericanInTokyo]

You write Juche ideology crap quite well, CP.

But careful, the Korean Central News Agency might be on here and send you a Freepmail inviting you to free lance up there for a few months writing copy.... ;-)

[AmericanInTokyo]

Thank you (long after the fact). I've been fortunate to be a guest of yours (crossing that Imjin River Bridge) on a number of occasions on the way up to Camp Kitty Hawk (Bonifas) and then into the JSA. Its a nice bridge to cross. Too bad in a way there is damn near a superhighway bridge now about 1/2 mile to the East.

[Cogadh na Sith]

Ki Jong Dong

Ha! Yep, that's it! I used to go up to the 'O' club up at JSA sometimes for a change...

You guys had a pretty good PX. We even got to eat dinner with the Swiss/Swede delegation up there.

[AmericanInTokyo]

That village, if I am not mistaken, is nicknamed "Propaganda Village" and goes by the name "Kijongdong" (or "Gijongdong) in Korean. An eery site indeed.

[Hoplite]

You got to eat dinner with them?

I got to stare at their daughters when they drove through the entry checkpoint - "Sorry ma'am, a stripsearch is now mandatory..."

Whoops, I was thinking out loud there.

[weikel]

ROTFLMAO

[weikel]

LOL