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Ellen Ratner, Eleanor Clift, Your Clinton Vibrators Are Ready
Talking Slick Willie ^

Posted on 01/01/2003 7:57:56 AM PST by Doctor Raoul

FROM TODAY'S INSIDE THE BELTWAT BY JOHN McCASLIN:

CLINTON MONMUMENT It vibrates, it tickles, it stimulates, it vacillates, it talks, it exaggerates.
What is it?
It's the Talking Slick Willie Presidential Massager, with batteries included at a bargain price of $29.99.
"It's just our little way of erecting a monument to a great American tradition," explains Austin, Texas-based JJK Industries, makers of the red, white and blue (gray on top) massager. "So the Slick Willie Presidential Massager is in no way aimed at demeaning or insulting the man or the office."
Of course not.
So, how does one turn on Slick Willie?
To make Slick Willie talk, simply press the white button below his feet on the pedestal. Each time, Slick Willie recites one line. (He says seven funny phrases in all.)
To make Slick Willie vibrate, simply turn on the switch on the back of the pedestal. Slick Willie vibrates at one speed.
Of course, care should be taken when using any massager, especially this one. Slick Willie is a toy, a novelty massager, and should be treated as such.
Who would buy such a toy?
Lobbyists and politicians alike, we're told, have purchased Slick Willie massagers to soothe their, um, political kinks.
"I wish he'd been this forthright and entertaining during the impeachment trial," says Kenneth W. Starr, former independent counsel, who's handled the "monument."
Inside the Beltway, as a rule, does not publish product sales information (we prefer that toy makers and others place ads in our newspaper). But in this case, knowing readers will inundate us with queries, here it is: 1-877/456-7742 or www.talkingslickwillie.com.
After all, says one anonymous former senatorial source: "Bob Dole thinks this is the best thing since Viagra."


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: maureendowd
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To: mass55th
Hey ya, K!

Happy New Year!

B.

41 posted on 01/01/2003 10:55:04 AM PST by buffyt
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
At least it doesn't look like what I thought it would look like. Of course, that would only mean cintoon is a ####head.

When that SOB finally dies, his gravesite is going to have some serious drainage problems.

Happy New Year from sunshiny Texas, Cindy.
42 posted on 01/01/2003 11:08:34 AM PST by Shooter 2.5
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
thanks so much for the PSA, whyisa! LOL! bubba is better suited for a toilet plunger, IMO....
43 posted on 01/01/2003 11:11:32 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: Doctor Raoul
LOL! Anyone have a comprehensive list of all those who stood with Slick Willie during the lies and impeachment? (I recall that our very own rocket-scientist senator, Patsy[sic] Murray was one). What a wonderful, appropriate and thought-provoking present to be sent to each and every one of them!
44 posted on 01/01/2003 11:16:27 AM PST by Eala
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To: mountaineer
Oh my... :( yuk
45 posted on 01/01/2003 11:20:01 AM PST by Libertina
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To: Shooter 2.5
ROFL............ yes, his gravesite really needs to be equiped with a flushing mechanism.......... you are not the first to mention a desire to perform that function at his gravesite.....lol
46 posted on 01/01/2003 12:05:34 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: xsmommy; Argh; Cagey; SeeRushToldU_So
I think this messager would look great next to my Monica Lewinsky humidor!
47 posted on 01/01/2003 12:06:59 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: Wondervixen
"Having played the "condemned prisoner" part in our charity haunted house electric chair exhibit, I can vouch for the Black & Decker sander that these guys mount under the seat for effect. This "Little Willie" thingie doesn't begin to impress me after that!...."

You have my under-laying sympathies and sincere, deep-seated feelings at the lowest level from the bottom of my heart for your predicament. 8<)

Was this the chair they remodeled for you?

http://www.strangecosmos.com/view.adp?picture_id=7652
48 posted on 01/01/2003 12:51:22 PM PST by Robert A Cook PE
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To: Doctor Raoul
Hey, where's MurryMom?

Anybody post this at D.U.?

49 posted on 01/01/2003 1:00:53 PM PST by muleskinner
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To: Gritty
I wonder if Hillary ordered one?

Hillary Clinton
3067 Whitehaven St. NW
Washington, DC 20008-3613

Maybe they'll drop ship if you ask.

50 posted on 01/01/2003 1:02:36 PM PST by Doctor Raoul
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To: muleskinner
Hey, where's MurryMom?

First in her neighborhood to own one....

51 posted on 01/01/2003 1:03:24 PM PST by Doctor Raoul
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To: muleskinner
Anybody post this at D.U.?

THey're available at the DU store. Back oredered, but available if you can wait long enough.

52 posted on 01/01/2003 1:06:29 PM PST by Doctor Raoul
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To: Doctor Raoul
Actually, this is the only Clinton that can satisfy a woman....
53 posted on 01/01/2003 1:08:09 PM PST by Doctor Raoul
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To: Doctor Raoul

Another satisfied customer....
54 posted on 01/01/2003 1:22:21 PM PST by Doctor Raoul
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To: rface
Susan Estrich

Angry limo lib!

55 posted on 01/01/2003 1:26:06 PM PST by ChadGore
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To: ChadGore
Nothing worse that dead batteries in your Clinton vibrator if your "pro-choice".

How long before this becomes an officially endorsed N.O.W. product?

56 posted on 01/01/2003 1:27:42 PM PST by Doctor Raoul
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To: Doctor Raoul
Like he hasn't been trying to get back up in there all his life anyway...
57 posted on 01/01/2003 1:30:07 PM PST by RichInOC
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To: Doctor Raoul
Lie # 1 Spounted from Clinton Vibrator - I may look 6 inches tall, but I'm really 10"!!
58 posted on 01/01/2003 1:33:22 PM PST by Clintons Are White Trash
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To: Doctor Raoul
Another satisfied customer....

Who the heck is that? It looks like Elanor Rodham Clift attacking Vice President Cheney...

59 posted on 01/01/2003 1:40:12 PM PST by COBOL2Java
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To: Doctor Raoul
"It's just our little way of erecting a monument to a great American tradition"

Best quote of the entire post...

60 posted on 01/01/2003 1:41:56 PM PST by COBOL2Java
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