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Ellen Ratner, Eleanor Clift, Your Clinton Vibrators Are Ready
Talking Slick Willie ^
Posted on 01/01/2003 7:57:56 AM PST by Doctor Raoul
![](http://www.talkingslickwillie.com/images/figure-anim.gif)
FROM TODAY'S INSIDE THE BELTWAT BY JOHN McCASLIN:
CLINTON MONMUMENT It vibrates, it tickles, it stimulates, it vacillates, it talks, it exaggerates.
What is it?
It's the Talking Slick Willie Presidential Massager, with batteries included at a bargain price of $29.99.
"It's just our little way of erecting a monument to a great American tradition," explains Austin, Texas-based JJK Industries, makers of the red, white and blue (gray on top) massager. "So the Slick Willie Presidential Massager is in no way aimed at demeaning or insulting the man or the office."
Of course not.
So, how does one turn on Slick Willie?
To make Slick Willie talk, simply press the white button below his feet on the pedestal. Each time, Slick Willie recites one line. (He says seven funny phrases in all.)
To make Slick Willie vibrate, simply turn on the switch on the back of the pedestal. Slick Willie vibrates at one speed.
Of course, care should be taken when using any massager, especially this one. Slick Willie is a toy, a novelty massager, and should be treated as such.
Who would buy such a toy?
Lobbyists and politicians alike, we're told, have purchased Slick Willie massagers to soothe their, um, political kinks.
"I wish he'd been this forthright and entertaining during the impeachment trial," says Kenneth W. Starr, former independent counsel, who's handled the "monument."
Inside the Beltway, as a rule, does not publish product sales information (we prefer that toy makers and others place ads in our newspaper). But in this case, knowing readers will inundate us with queries, here it is: 1-877/456-7742 or www.talkingslickwillie.com.
After all, says one anonymous former senatorial source: "Bob Dole thinks this is the best thing since Viagra."
TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: maureendowd
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To: mass55th
Hey ya, K!
Happy New Year!
B.
41
posted on
01/01/2003 10:55:04 AM PST
by
buffyt
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
At least it doesn't look like what I thought it would look like. Of course, that would only mean cintoon is a ####head.
When that SOB finally dies, his gravesite is going to have some serious drainage problems.
Happy New Year from sunshiny Texas, Cindy.
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
thanks so much for the PSA, whyisa! LOL! bubba is better suited for a toilet plunger, IMO....
43
posted on
01/01/2003 11:11:32 AM PST
by
xsmommy
To: Doctor Raoul
LOL! Anyone have a comprehensive list of all those who stood with Slick Willie during the lies and impeachment? (I recall that our very own rocket-scientist senator, Patsy[sic] Murray was one). What a wonderful, appropriate and thought-provoking present to be sent to each and every one of them!
44
posted on
01/01/2003 11:16:27 AM PST
by
Eala
To: mountaineer
Oh my... :( yuk
To: Shooter 2.5
ROFL............ yes, his gravesite really needs to be equiped with a flushing mechanism.......... you are not the first to mention a desire to perform that function at his gravesite.....lol
To: xsmommy; Argh; Cagey; SeeRushToldU_So
I think this messager would look great next to my Monica Lewinsky humidor!
To: Wondervixen
"Having played the "condemned prisoner" part in our charity haunted house electric chair exhibit, I can vouch for the Black & Decker sander that these guys mount under the seat for effect. This "Little Willie" thingie doesn't begin to impress me after that!...."
You have my under-laying sympathies and sincere, deep-seated feelings at the lowest level from the bottom of my heart for your predicament. 8<)
Was this the chair they remodeled for you?
http://www.strangecosmos.com/view.adp?picture_id=7652
To: Doctor Raoul
Hey, where's MurryMom?
Anybody post this at D.U.?
To: Gritty
I wonder if Hillary ordered one? Hillary Clinton
3067 Whitehaven St. NW
Washington, DC 20008-3613
Maybe they'll drop ship if you ask.
To: muleskinner
Hey, where's MurryMom?First in her neighborhood to own one....
To: muleskinner
Anybody post this at D.U.?THey're available at the DU store. Back oredered, but available if you can wait long enough.
To: Doctor Raoul
Actually, this is the only Clinton that can satisfy a woman....
To: Doctor Raoul
Another satisfied customer....
To: rface
Susan Estrich
![](http://users.wi.net/~johnh/Estrich.jpg)
Angry limo lib!
55
posted on
01/01/2003 1:26:06 PM PST
by
ChadGore
To: ChadGore
Nothing worse that dead batteries in your Clinton vibrator if your "pro-choice".
How long before this becomes an officially endorsed N.O.W. product?
To: Doctor Raoul
Like he hasn't been trying to get back up in there all his life anyway...
57
posted on
01/01/2003 1:30:07 PM PST
by
RichInOC
To: Doctor Raoul
Lie # 1 Spounted from Clinton Vibrator - I may look 6 inches tall, but I'm really 10"!!
To: Doctor Raoul
Another satisfied customer.... Who the heck is that? It looks like Elanor Rodham Clift attacking Vice President Cheney...
To: Doctor Raoul
"It's just our little way of erecting a monument to a great American tradition" Best quote of the entire post...
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