Ellen Ratner, Eleanor Clift, Your Clinton Vibrators Are Ready

Talking Slick Willie ^

[Doctor Raoul]

FROM TODAY'S INSIDE THE BELTWAT BY JOHN McCASLIN:

CLINTON MONMUMENT It vibrates, it tickles, it stimulates, it vacillates, it talks, it exaggerates.
What is it?
It's the Talking Slick Willie Presidential Massager, with batteries included at a bargain price of $29.99.
"It's just our little way of erecting a monument to a great American tradition," explains Austin, Texas-based JJK Industries, makers of the red, white and blue (gray on top) massager. "So the Slick Willie Presidential Massager is in no way aimed at demeaning or insulting the man or the office."
Of course not.
So, how does one turn on Slick Willie?
To make Slick Willie talk, simply press the white button below his feet on the pedestal. Each time, Slick Willie recites one line. (He says seven funny phrases in all.)
To make Slick Willie vibrate, simply turn on the switch on the back of the pedestal. Slick Willie vibrates at one speed.
Of course, care should be taken when using any massager, especially this one. Slick Willie is a toy, a novelty massager, and should be treated as such.
Who would buy such a toy?
Lobbyists and politicians alike, we're told, have purchased Slick Willie massagers to soothe their, um, political kinks.
"I wish he'd been this forthright and entertaining during the impeachment trial," says Kenneth W. Starr, former independent counsel, who's handled the "monument."
Inside the Beltway, as a rule, does not publish product sales information (we prefer that toy makers and others place ads in our newspaper). But in this case, knowing readers will inundate us with queries, here it is: 1-877/456-7742 or www.talkingslickwillie.com.
After all, says one anonymous former senatorial source: "Bob Dole thinks this is the best thing since Viagra."

[KLT]

Gettin my Copper Tops ready POD.......Who knows the possibilities and the diseases....LOL

[IncPen]

Of course, I'm sure it only talks about itself...

[Iowa Granny]

You have disparraged the entire Iowa State campus with that photo.

[Cicero]

I don't know if the Hello Kittie vibrator qualifies as the weirdest. Among the hundreds of porno spam e-mails I have gotten recently (or at least was getting, before I installed SpamPal) were two or three advertising an Ernie-and-Bert type Rubber Duckie vibrator for Christmas.

[ErnBatavia]

You have disparraged the entire Iowa State campus with that photo.

But, Iowa is Mecca to Ms. Estrogen...you see, there's a lot of corn produced in Iowa, and corn is the base ingredient for the Ten High bourbon she must use for rinsing those vocal cords of hers, ya know.

[csvset]

[buffyt]

Real Women PREFER REAL MEN!!!!

[f.Christian]

Hillary model...straps---buckles!

[Wondervixen]

Having played the "condemned prisoner" part in our charity haunted house electric chair exhibit, I can vouch for the Black & Decker sander that these guys mount under the seat for effect. This "Little Willie" thingie doesn't begin to impress me after that!

[S.O.S121.500]

The legacy grows...LOL.

[BIGZ]

You should file for a Patent. I get a Royalty.

[texas booster]

What marketing guru at Sanrio decided to "officially license" this toy??

Man, that is gross!

[mass55th]

Somehow I think Ratner would be more inclined to buy a Hillary vibrator. I actually think she's in love with the witch. Now there's a match made in Moscow!

[mountaineer]

It reminds me of this:

[Reactionary]

Ah, more of The Legacy.

Now if they could only figure out how to make the Slick Willy speak in Chinese...

[sauropod]

Ahhhhh.... Power Tools!

Real Women use Power Tools! 'Pod

[sauropod]

Okies. I was being sarcastic about the "shez hot". LOL!

[Gritty]

I wonder if Hillary ordered one? It's just her type of, er,... thing!

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Thanks for the heads up on this collectors piece........ a must have for any serious investor..

[hinckley buzzard]

Great picture of Ellen the RATner!